Tired of guys blaming ME FOR EVERYTHING. All of them. now I don’t date

[hsshannah96]

They always just want me to just accept that they’re gonna vape or they’re not lying (when they are and I always find out later, like one said he had a driver license and he didn’t), or that they’re gonna work 80 hours a week and contact me once every few WEEKS! My former friends (girls) would do this too. one even got onto me for saying I was ticked that she kept being late for get togethers or she would stop texting for weeks or months and then plop back like nothing happened. I would talk to her about it and state how angry it made me and she just didn’t care and as a matter of fact she would get angry. She’d say stuff like, you know I have depression and I need breaks sometimes!!!! Hannah I think it’s you that needs to grow up. everybody isn’t always going to give you attention 24/7. People act like my wanting some fucking friends and some time with them is a massive burden. As a result, I no longer date or have friends or make them so no need to tell me to stop dating etc. that bridge is long crossed. I just hate how arguments ALWAYS mean the friendship or the relationship is over.

[ohshee]

Ok Timeee out sit down.. we need to chat...
I don't know where to even start I read this question and somehow I got on to your page and I read about your more your questions and I'm just thinking to myself what are you doing. With all your questions in every single word you say you have inside your smart intelligent you have the answer right there in front of you and you pass it by.

Okay first of all. in so many different ways I am you. You are me but in a whole different world you're going to hate everything that I had to say I know you are but I'm going to be honest with you.. and I don't know if I should be.

I say that because what I'm going to say is going to break your heart and I really don't want to do that

Okay I don't know any of those people I don't know you but I can tell you this not one of those people that you talked about are your friends.
They're going to use you. They're going to chew you up and spit you out like gum and then somebody's going to step on that gun and track it all over the place you're going to break your heart if they already haven't

Okay instead of me telling you all this cuz like I said I don't want to hurt you I don't want to break your heart

Try this let's see how strong you are do not get a hold of any of them for one week and see what happens do not buy them anything ever again if they want something they can work their ass off for it why should you give to somebody that just keeps taken from you and never gives back and that goes in every matter

I can feel you right now and I hate saying all this I really can't say anymore because I don't know if you're going to listen is I'm going to break your heart these people are going to break your heart you need to find some good friends people that are your friends and don't buy them don't give to them let them prove to you what kind of friend they are if those guys were your true friends when you offered something they would say no because they don't want you to spend your money on them the person is going to use you will say yes I want that I want this I want that I want that fuck them you need to go look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself and that you're not going to be used no more for nobody which improved to you how much your Worth to them if the only get in contact with you because they want something from you you have to let it go yes I let them go it's going to be the hardest thing in the world but you have to do it and I'm going to tell you this to from this day forward I sent you another year year-and-a-half not one of those people will be in your life

There might be one person but he won't want to be there he has to be in your life cuz you probably going to get you pregnant you need to start taking control of yourself

Okay I'm finished I can't I feel like I'm putting you down and I don't mean to I feel like I know you and I don't but I should stop because In This Moment In Time all I'm saying is negative stuff and I can't keep doing that to you.
I really don't even want to send this but maybe someday you'll remember it and actually h e a r what I'm trying to say

And to answer your question they blame you to make you feel guilty because when you feel guilty you buy them things you do things for them fuck them

Stop feeling guilty because you're not so stop it you're the only person you can make yourself do that you're the only person that can make yourself happy you're the only person that can make yourself sad. Not Those people only you.
There's only you on the inside of you and you are your teacher your guide and you are the only one that can make you feel any emotion don't let those people keep using you please you're going to get any rut that you can't get out of it and that's who you will become in life and you don't want that I wish I could just talk to you I know you're a really good person start being a leader for you let them follow you don't follow them they're no good for you I'm sorry

[hsshannah96]

Haven’t spoken. To any of these people in YEARS.

[ohshee]

Good for you your question was breaking my heart to feel you going to that pain

[Anonymous]

I am the male version of you and it's really hard most of the time. I cook, clean after for friends, family, always end up doing work for them and nobody gives a shit when I am sick.
I dated a girl, cooked for her for months while maintaining my study, work. Took care of her while she was sick and a lot and she ditched me for a good-looking rich older guy. My friends caused trouble once and angered a lot of people, they tried to beat them. I protected them by comforting the mob till the police came. They broke contact with me afterward.
I have a horrible childhood with physically and verbally abusive parents.
Most people are horrible, earlier I had a problem accepting it but I have accepted it now. Our society is like 90% filled with bad people and it's very hard to belong in that 10. Try leaning saying no and cut contacts with bad people.

[hsshannah96]

I don’t have contacts with anybody but my parents now 😂

[Aerissa_Jade]

Sorry you've had such bad experiences, I know how you feel as I almost gave up but just couldn't bring myself to do it. As I am too social and instead just continued to push through it all.

[hsshannah96]

I’m very social too. but nobody wants to socialize since the pandemic so I gave up
And Minnesotans are rude so

[Aerissa_Jade]

Feel free to chat with me, I'm always up to it. Out west here though, we have so much wide open space that we though it was stupid when Biden said we had to wear masks in the forests away from everyone else.

[Daniela1982]

Now I know what this means.
"Why are so many guys archeologists?" Because they like digging up the past.

[hsshannah96]

They do! Every time I have a argument with one they have to bring up “well you did that (picks a date that was months or years ago)”

[BigTom420]

Sorry to hear that, it must suck not being able to enjoy those aspects of life. If you're interested in solving this problem yourself, id recommend you do what I say next, otherwise, you could just complain to other people but if you don't have any meaningful connections I doubt that will actually do anything and social interaction is pretty vital for mental health so I feel like following my advice might be more effective. Either all the people that you become friends with and start dating are entitled assholes and expect more from you than they are willing to offer or you're the entitled one, and you expect to receive more than you offer in return (could be anything valuable: time, money, respect). So what that means is either you have to change your criteria for what a good person to approach/accept is or you have to do some deep introspection and fully make sure all your expectations are realistic and are fair in that they match what you're willing to give in return.

[hsshannah96]

They expect more from me than they’re willing to offer.

[hsshannah96]

When i make friends I do stuff for them. I pay for their dinners, my parents have paid for their dinners. They rarely pay for anything for me. Not never, just once in a blue moon. I reach out to see how they’re doing. They don’t do that for me. I don’t think they cared tbh. I would get them gifts. I cared about them and respected them. I had a childhood friend who always had extracurricular activities. Couldn’t get together or talk more than maybe once every FEW MONTHS if that. I would try to text her and she wouldn’t write back. I wasn’t rude in my texts or anything. I bought my ex boyfriend a sword (an antique he saw when we were shopping and he seemed like he really liked it) as a birthday present. Of course, he is Jehovah’s Witness and was mad I got it for him. But, my second ex’s mom was very surprised I was dating her son when we were together. I definitely knew that was a mistake. He couldn’t hold down a job. That one was a rebound from my first ex. So you’re probably right. I was with him for the physical affection piece primarily. He was with me for the housing. that’s the one case I’m certain of where he probably sensed deep down I didn’t really love him or like him.

[LovingJo]

It's called "defer and reflect" - I'm pretty sure it's built into their dna!! 💯😏

[hsshannah96]

Yeah. Can’t have any argument with them without that bull crap

[Guy13]

That's probably good until you no longer are defensive about a guy voicing an opinion that you dislike...

[spuitkaas]

You need higher standards for both friends and relationships. You might be giving too much without checking if you get the same back and then get resentful to them for not giving that effort back. Only hang with people who give effort back. Give the same energy back that they give you. Sure you can put in a little bit more effort sometimes, but check how they react.

[hsshannah96]

Wow never thought of this!!! Just kidding I have
I don’t date anymore did you not read this

[hsshannah96]

@hahahmm I see you dislike women. Bye

[hsshannah96]

@hahahmm I haven’t dated online in months! how dare you make such accusations

Shut up

[hahahmm]

Maybe you should read this MyTake:
A Note On Giving Trust

[Raperonzolo_Viv]

i think they are not suitable for you. if the case is 'you don't see eye to eye' ( something small for him is big for you etc.) and let them know this and say bye. no drama nothing. move forward. get a break if you feel overwhelmed.

[Kiran_Yagami]

I hate to beat on the dead horse, but the only commonality between all of these guys is you, so why do you pick guys who treat you like this?

[hsshannah96]

The decent ones are married 😂😂😂

The other decent ones have facial hair everywhere. Or they look like an elf.

[Kiran_Yagami]

So, by your own admission, you choose the men you do freely. So the problem isn't the men. And if all the decent ones were married, there would be a lot more married men out there, when in reality the number of men choosing to marry is on a rapid decline.

[hsshannah96]

they’re either not my physical type so we’d have no sex life or they’re married

So not quite

[hsshannah96]

I just have to wait for a better one. I don’t date now

[Kiran_Yagami]

What is your physical type?

[MannyFrs]

what do you look like? im a visual person

[dvc0006]

that is so superficial, you have way so many choices

[Daniela1982]

There are a lot of decent guys your age that aren't married. How come you can't attract any as guys are always looking for girls, and not always for sex?

[hsshannah96]

@Daniela1982 I now never leave the house

[Lionman95]

Sorry to read this. I hope that one day in the future you find better examples of guys.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a good idea. Take some time and figure yourself out.

[hsshannah96]

Already have.

[Anonymous]

On a related note, I'm tired of women blaming me for everything.

[Vick2727]

It's the guys you like to pick tbh

[hsshannah96]

Now I don’t pick any!!! Ha

[Vick2727]

Tbh pick the cool guy you wouldn't go for. Someone genuine and you will be happy.

[hsshannah96]

I never find those. I currently don’t leave the house

[hsshannah96]

@MannyFrs shush

[anon1903]

I'm sorry, honey.

*Bear hug*

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Do you wanna talk about it?

[Aimee_]

I’m with you on this one

[OatmealMuffin]

good take

[Miristheiss]

It's all your fault.

[pass_the_celery98]

I have a solution

[Jouth]

fuck of