Wait... so why does she act like this?

[Anonymous]

So this girl and I have had a weird relationship since I started here. She's married, but she would follow me around and want my attention, we became friends and were talking together most everyday. She'd meet me in the break room and we'd walk and talk back to out desks almost everyday. Her body language told me she liked me but she flips her hair constantly and I thing she has a nervous habit of doing this. Anyways, we'd talk everyday one week then she'd disappear the next then start over again. This was a year ago. Since then I've started this cycle of ignoring her and being cold to back to friends to back to ignoring. A lot of it has to do with how confusing she is towards me. She's made me jealous with a buddy of mine and I've talked about other girls around her. I'd ignore her and she'd seem to get upset and come search me out wondering what's up. Back and forth kind of stuff. I ignored her pretty hard for a month and a half and she started walking and talking with my buddy like her and I used to. I used to skip lots of out group lunch outings because I didn't want to be made jealous. When I first started she went all of them, now she skips all of them except one when I was out if town which she was sure to let me know about it. She also like called I sick when we had a group tour when we had talked about how we were both going. Yesterday she flipped her hair around and kept lookin over at me I did my best to not look since were in a meeting and she gets up and leaves half way through. Then in today's meeting I'm making jokes and everyone is laughing except her, she was acting like she was not looking or paying attention. She will be cool and nice with me one minute the next like she's too busy to talk to me and will barely turn around from her computer like she's too busy. It didn't used to be this way. She's not looking to cheat on her husband. I want to be friends again and am trying to work back in. Why does she act like this?

[Engel687]

Maybe she is not sure what kinda feelings she has for you. Did you ever tell her the way you feel for her? It seems to me that she is struggling with the fact that she is attracted to you and trying desperate not to think about it or you. Or she may has seen you flirt with somebody else and it broke her heart and is making you jelouse with your buddy to kinda pay back and act like she doesn't care or doesn't know what you are feeling for her.

[Muñekababy]

From my personal experience.. there might be an attraction between the both of you.
And some feelings between the both you.. but I think she's not gonna cheat on her husband despite all the flirting and stuff. She definitely feels something for you... thoe
But one thing is to feel and another to act on it.!! If I was you.. I would stay away. Girls are so complicated. :-)

[Asker]

I don't think she would act on this either but things have been so bizarre as you can tell from what I wrote above. I don't get why she's acting like that towards me?

She sought me out and we became friends and talked like everyday. Then she'd go missing on me them comeback and repeat over again. I started to ignore her and talk about other girls around her and i think it bothered her. Things have been up and down back and forth for almost a year. Last winter i ignored her hard for a month and a half. I was very short with her and I know this messed with her bad. I found out from my buddy that she had been walking and talking with him everyday like her and I used to. He said it was kind if creeping him out lol. Going in and out of the parking lot like everyday. It hadn't happened in like 8 months and now all of a sudden she's walking talking with him. I just want to know what her deal is?

[Muñekababy]

I had a very similar situation once.. I would flirt and be so close with him. I would get mad at him for anything just to stay away.
But I would notice he would be jealous when I would talk to other ppl.. and when he would talk to other people I would get super upset. We never said anything to each other of how we felt. But you know when there's something there. Nothing ever happened bc I was married. But the attraction and feelings were definitely there. And that's what I think is going on with you guys. She's been distant and stuff. 1) Bc she wants ur attention but knows is wrong..2) Maybe you need to tell her how you feel and find out what's on her mind.

[Asker]

wow this is basically what I feel is going on too. I am married as well so it has been very weird and bizarre. There were a couple times I felt her and I needed to talk about this and neither said anything. I've been close. One time in particular moment between us I think she was waiting for me to say, but I chickened out. He thing that is most strange now is how she skips so many events I'll be at and acts off with me mostly with pockets of niceness. It seems she wants my attention but is sending me a message and now she's treating me how I treated her for a long time. Just kind of cold and crappy. I feel bad and am trying tk change things. I don't want it to be awkward for her she should come to the lunches. People don't understnad why she stopped going. I'll email her and ask and she always has some excuse.

[Muñekababy]

Oh Damn you guys are both married?
Wow.. my best advice now is just to stay away. Is freaking hard I know. But. Before you do anything, anything at all.. think clearly what is it that you want. Maybe talking to her would make things better n help you figure out what you gotta do.
You can't jump into conclusions without knowing what she feels or thinks. So my advice is stay away... or talk to her!!! Get this sh¡T out of ur chest.

[Asker]

I know bad right? And it's been hard as hell for me because i didn't care at first and feel it's gotten deep and nothing has been said. I'm assuming I'm not the only one feeling this way? I feel like id be satisfied if we both talked admitted out feelings and went on with out lives, but I'd have to be the first to do it because she'd deny it I'm sure

[cbabeingcreativehere]

Dude she's married. Just stay away. And seeing as your working together obviously that's kinda hard so you just gotta talk to her about it, tell her you're not interested. I'm sorry you can't be, especially when it's really just a sexual thing and not something you'd call love. Do you want to be a home wrecker.

[halafax]

She sounds like an attention whore. She is flirty with you because she wants your attention. Then she plays hot and cold because she wants to keep you off balance. Married people are off limits. I dont care how pretty or nice she is. You wounldnt want to be her husband if she is running around behind her back. Just ignore her and do your job.

[Asker]

Jeez that's nuts. She only wants attention? She doesn't seem to be the type to cheat

[halafax]

If she wanted to be friends she wouldn't be playing hot and cold.

[Asker]

I really don't think she would do anything honestly. I ignored her for 2 months and
My buddy tells me she has been walking and talking with him everyday like her and I used to. I didn't understnad what that was all about

[halafax]

attention whoring, or she decided she doesn't like you anymore.