I want to be less bitchy? How to become "nice"?

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

I'm on the bitchy side, i make exceptions for people I like... i'll be nice to them. How can I be nice to everyone? Some people just annoy me and I snap at them but I guess I have to just control myself better? I become impatient and I see that nice people don't lose their cool and they keep talking to annoying people. Hm, maybe i shouldn't be nice. Wait, that sounded bitchy. See, i don't know how to be nice. It's not like i go out of my way to make people feel bad nor does it make feel cool or anything. I just say what i need to say, i'm a very straight-forward person and i guess it comes off as bitchy. Now i'm rambling. Sorry.

[tammyie]

When I was a child up to my preteen, I was sassy and a little bitchy; had a strong temperament and wouldn't let anyone walk over me. But then my mom told me repeatedly to be nice until I became "too nice" in my teens, too afraid to "voice" myself and disturb anyone just because I wanted to please mom. Well high school was hell, but the worst is I continued until recently. People saw me as a pushover, used me, trampled me and the more they did, the less self esteem I had. The less self esteem I had, the more they abused my "niceness" and the vicious cycle went on and on until I decided no more! So now i'm back to being myself, a little bitchy, slowly rebuilding my self esteem. Now instead of using me, people are intimidated and call me a bitch. And you know what I realized? That people are NEVER happy. That they will project their insecurities into you so the best you can do is work on your self esteem while being you. Yes, that includes being "too friendly and nice" or being "bitchy and sassy" if that's who you are. Trying to be someone you're not will only make you unhappy like it did for me, and trust me it's not worth it.

[cheeseysouffle]

Empathy. You need to stop thinking in your shoes and start trying to see what it feels like in other peoples shoes. You probably think you're a bitch because of how other people are reacting to you. Really watch how people react to what you say. The thing is, it could just be the people themselves that are the problem. It could be you like you're saying, but you won't know until you start paying attention.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

I'm also sarcastic and people tend to think to not catch onto my sarcasm, making it seem like i'm more bitchy than what I am.

[cheeseysouffle]

I'm sarcastic as well. I've even had comments on here removed because of trolling. You need to develop a filter or no care policy.

When I'm exhausted and the filter comes off, everyone is laughing except for the person I'm responding to.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

SAME. Omg, once i'm frustrated and all the fucks i could have given disappear i start hella ranting on that person and it makes my friends laugh.

[cheeseysouffle]

I tend not to rant, but quick little responses. Maybe it's the ranting that puts people off.

Usually you only need one sentences to get a point across.

[cheeseysouffle]

Also, dare I say it, there is a difference between sarcasm and being a bitch. You may think that you're being sarcastic and witty, but really you're just being mean.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

Oh, could be. When i go off on people... i go off. I'll take that in mind... one sentence responses. Unless they really deserve a full-on rant. It could be that I think it's sarcastic and witty but my friends always know i'm joking unless they got used to my humor. I'll try to tone my sarcasm down.

[cheeseysouffle]

Full on rants will always make you look like a bitch whether you're in the right or not.

Sarcasm and whit don't need a full on rant. In fact if you're ranting, you won't be able to have those quick and sarcastic responses.

[thorinoakenshield]

I'm also pretty impatient but my solution is to kinda not care about anything. Like at all. If you're really pissed you just imagine yourself beating them with an electric guitar and just think 'fuck you', but it helps to try and only see the best in everyone.

[Annymous8]

It seems like being a bitch gets you places. I'm sweet and apparently that's a problem.

[abzence]

People find different things annoying.
Perhaps you find many things people say or do annoying and eventually you snap. Maybe those "nice" people simply don't think those things are annoying so there is really nothing for them to react to or need for a cool temper. But of course, empathy, patience and a cool temper never hurts.

Your attitude towards others and what you expect from them plays a big role. If you want, expect or even demand others to be a certain way, then of course it will be annoying when they don't follow those expectation of "non annoying behaviour".

[Tractorbeam]

The first thing you should remember is that anyone you're bitchy to has friends.
Even if you were a selfish bitch, you might want to know those friends. They won't want to know you, after you've been bitchy to their friends.
You catch more flies with honey.
Before you open your mouth, think "Is there something nicer I could say, that won't shit people?"

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

See, i try to sugarcoat things sometimes and try to make it sound nice but apparently it still sounds mean. I'm just a very direct and straight-forward person. I like people who are also straight-forward and assertive.

[DanielGrant]

I don't think you should change, just be yourself. I wouldn't call you bitchy just because you're not nice to people you don't like - I'm neither but I'm rather passive aggressive. Some people will love your for this and some will not, that's it.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

Oh, well i didn't mention this but the times i did try to be nice i would be two-faced. So, being bitchy and not two-faced is better than being not bitchy and two-faced. You get me? Ugh, i wish people weren't so damn sensitive.

[DanielGrant]

Yeah I get it. :) Well, I love straightforward people so I would never-ever consider this a problem. What's the point of acting that you like someone anyway? I mean if something bothers me that someone is doing I always make sure that person will know about it and if it's the personality of that person I just make it clear it annoys me. Why should I be nervous because of their stupidity? ^^

[decemberxblue]

If you've been like this since childhood, it'll likely stick around for life. It's just part of your temperament. The only way I can think of is finding happiness in your life if it's currently absent. Can't love others until you love yourself, too.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

My mom told me ever since I was a baby I was very picky as to whom would carry me. I wouldn't let my dad nor my grandparents hold me. I was born a bitch D:

[decemberxblue]

One of my nieces is like that. She's definitely going to be a bitch when she gets older lmao. It's just a part of who you are. My temperament is being too nice/friendly. Shit, consider your end of the spectrum lucky.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

LOL. Not always, i'm sure i scare some guys away.

[wuhsin88]

As an asshole, I'll tell you how. You just have to replace certain offensive words with less offensive words. Like, when I start to call a girl a cunt, I'll call her cupcake instead.

[molan]

I'll by saying a hate bitches, just so we are clear.

The key is to think positively about others, focus on the positive and neglect the negative aspects of whoever you usually bitches about.

[Ihav2fart]

You are who you are, why change? You just have to find people who do not mind who you are.

[brebre123]

Hmmm ok just dont be alarmed when someone. is a bitxh to. u

[Anonymous]

for a start you should realize world doesn't revolve around a person

[BEatenyou]

there's no hope for you. Unless...

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

Unless what, b r a h?

[BEatenyou]

unless your willing to accept yourself. Then you can begin to find peace.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

Oh, I know i'm bitchy. I own up to it but I just wanted to be a tad more nice but i find it hard to do. You're right, fuck it. People shouldn't be so damn sensitive anyway.

[BEatenyou]

haha, I never said that. Look you will always find people that plain view just annoy you, anger you, sometimes make you feel inadequate. You can't change that, all you can do is change your environment. Stay away from people like that, and you won't be as angry. Although sometimes when I drive and I see a women in a big ass suv with a cell phone in one hand and like 4 kids in the back and traffic is getting pretty dense ill throw a finger and scream wake up you ditzy bitch. Its good to let it out.

[McC0530]

Stop being a bitch, bitch.

[Chelseaisnotyourbro]

HAHAHAHAHAAHAH