That is a HORRIBLE way of viewing it. Bored? I am sorry, but a lasting relationship, among two mature adults, does not die from boredom. It does not die because of a poor sex life. Personally, sex could be completely absent from my relationship (and it has been for months at a time sometimes - I get ill frequently, and our relationship has been long distance for a good part of its lifespan) and I still would NEVER walk away. I don't fear getting boring. I don't fear anything with my husband? “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda really had a lot of things right really. "Size matters not" "Do or do not... there is no try." “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.”
Maybe I'm just lucky... to have never felt this "boredom" or to have never caused "boredom" in some one else. But in my experience, my relationships have not failed from boredom.
This reminds me of the question about friendships and what my criteria are - how "fun" and "interesting" do my friends need to be? My reply was that the question was very subjective. Any one who says some one isn't interesting only says so because they don't share the same interests.
this is a touchy topic for me. I've only had 2 boyfriends last longer than 6 months and trust me, I've had A LOT of relationships. the reason they don't last long is because I do get boreed. but I don't blame them, I think its something within myself that I need to work out. there's some underlying reason why I keep getting bored, whether it be because I'm scared to commit or whether it be I also don't do anything to keep it inteeresting.
i was disappointeed to see how many people voteed E. My parents have been married for over 30 years and I've had this conversation with them. The butteerflies and everything DON'T last. like my parents have told me, I need to get over the butterflies being gone if I ever want something serious because they're not gunna stay with anyone. sure, hopefully when you're married and with the "one" it shouldnt be BORING. but its not going to have the same excitement as relationships do in the beginning.
so, I picked A. however, I really don't blame the guy for being boring, I blame myself. I seek the butterflies, the excitement, the nervousness, I love the feeling of something NEW! and that's why I get bored after a few month. I think I need to work through things with myself.
If you really connect, than the person isn't boring. Sometimes what you do is boring, but even that is countered by the fact you are with someone you find interesting. You don't stay with people you find boring, because you can't bring it in yourself to care and respect the things they say. That might sound callous but it is right up there with people being first attracted by looks. And right after the attraction they say they stayed with the person because of personality right? A boring personality does not hold you.
If time is all it took to make you lose interest, than they weren't what you were looking for in the first place. If that is a pattern - relationships not holding your attention - I'd say it is the thrill of new relationships you are seeking instead of a real human being to spend your time with. The person isn't boring but the repetative situation is to you.
I'd liken it to shopping (a cheap, but accurate metaphor in this case): Some people buy things for uses and use them till it's dead, some people buy things for the sake of buying them and having something new. A lot of people go through stages or cycles of both of those.
I know of many couples that break up over sex. But they are almost always YOUNG. The fact is, everyone gets hot and cold from time to time. Both men and women do. When you find your sex live is getting dull, then reinvent other ways to explore your lover. Learning should never stop at the title of boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage. Learn to communicate all over again and learn something new about each other. Sex is not the only way to communicate, and it never will be the only way.
I completely agree with onemoreplease, and just got broke up for this reason. I spent too much time with her and didn't spend enough time on my own hoobbies/interests/friends - the things that make me interesting to be with in the first place.
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I don't get bored. (I hope he won't either!) Things only get boring if people aren't putting energy into the relationship. Boring people get bored. And to tell the truth, I don't quite get the idea of "boredom" in a relationship. (Can you imagine your mom saying to you one day, "It's been great having you as a kid these past years, but I just don't find you exciting anymore..."?) And as for the sex... maybe I'm a minority, but if I have my way, I will only have sex with one person for the rest of my life. I don't desire to experience a whole bunch of men. I've only been with one so far, and he's all I need.
Only girls that aren't interested or mature enough for an actual relationship will initiate a breakup when things get "boring". Considering if boring stands for the absence of drama. A real reason for ending a relationship could be a number of things...like a gut instinct that her guy isn't feeling the same for her as he used to and she's worn out from trying to recover it. Or maybe the guy is an a$$ point blank. Maybe even family and friends play a part when they pressure that the decision isn't a good one. Maybe even if cultures are conflicting (ex: traditions).
No, guys sometimes are just jerks, and we get disillusioned by them, or we realize that they aren't what we want. People are completely different at the beginning and end of relationships. And your points are kind of, well, pointless. Sex...well, if you really loved someone, that's not the problem. Boredom isn't always the reason, although it is for some people. However, if the woman gets bored, chances are that the guy's not compatible for her. If I truly loved someone, I'd never get bored of being with them.
i usually start to get bored when I realize the magic is gone. the guy doesn't just excite me as easily. and I don't mean sexually. my last boyfriend and I had the best sex life. and I definitely wasn't bored of the sex! I miss it! I was bored of EVERYTHING else. he never tried to spice things up by doing something new, like going on a spontaneous hike with me or telling me sweet little things, going out to dinner. all the little magical things were lost. so I got bored and found all that in other guys.
i never wanted to fall in love, jon is my first and only relationship, and he dragged me into it kicking and screaming, but once I fell in love with him, I wasn't going to let anything ruin it. any little argument is always resolved in bed :) we've been through far too much for me to ever give up on him. if I ever get bored I just plan a little trip to spice things up a bit.
any body who says they breaking up with you FOR you so you don't get bored is BS, if were scared of boring a guy then we shouldnt be with them because were afraid to be ourselves around them...anyways maybe we get bored so maybe we don't want to save the relationship...I know if I cared enough about the guy and wanted him I wouldn't let things get boring and I wouldn't break up with him , personally I wish I had known tht before...im sensing some anger towards tht excuse of bordom...ill be honest I'm scared of letting them want to be with me...the fact tht sombody wants me and loves me scares me becuz theyre the ones tht end up hurting you the most in the end... thts why I've broken up with the past 2 guys I've been with...ill never make tht mistake again tho... because I lost the best guy I could probably ever get... and I used bordom as an excuse for both those breakups so I know its a ton of BS...idk tht was probably confusing...oh and sex has nothing to do with it I think...
If you are in love with each other, really in love, then it won't ever get so boring that you split up. Then you obvs weren't in love. And if it does start going down that road then both people should make an effort to spice things up. Otherwise you aren't really interested in the relationship. If I was in love and things were getting boring I'd try to make it work, try to make it more interesting again, rather than just split up. People that use that as an excuse aren't capable of a real relationship yet and are just hiding behind their own insecurities.
For me it's mostly personality, it seems that girls and guys tend to be on there best behavior in the beginning. Eventually people's bad traits start to show through. Most men I have been with end up having anger or controlling issues. I have never cheated but still there was no trusting me. In the sex category I end up feeling like I'm nothing to them after awhile no complements on my looks or sexy stares at me while I'm getting undressed. I feel in a relationship you both need to complement each other cause that's what you do in the beginning so why not keep it going so you feel good about yourself and in return you get a happier couple. These are the reasons I have left a lot of men.
If both people have their own hobbies/interests/friends/lives, and are both putting in the effort to maintain the relationship, they may never lose interest in each other. I think "boredom" happens when they do EVERYTHING together, to the point that life becomes stifled and predictable, there is nothing new to experience, or one or both partners feels that the relationship is holding them back from other opportunities in life.
I woud think that if the relationship started to go downhill and boring then that would probably mean that you don't rele love the girl or guy. Or you realise you don't rele have much in common as you thought you did and you don't connect on the same levels. If a girl is with a guy and she goes and has sex with multiple people but now you that would probably mean that your not giving her what she wants in the way she wants it.. I'm not that kinda girl that's gross. if I don't likea guy I will tell him and break it off.. sleeping around behind eachothers back is not the way to go .. Don't string ne one on. The girl or guy would have to really truly love the guy and be loyal and trustworthy to not do ne thing of that sort. And that's also how you know that you want to commit to that person and be with them forever.
I don't get bored, men I've dated tend to change into a different person than I fell in love with and that's why I break their heart. But I'm sure they'll find someone who will love them for the person that they want to be so in the long run it's for the best. No sense trying to jam the circle piece into the triangle shaped part of the puzzle, it just won't fit.
For me if the excitement is gone that was once there, you know you are at a different level in the relationship.. As hard as it is to accept (believe me it took a long time for me to understand it), it is a good thing if you both are willing to work at it.. But I'm a firm believer that you can have the excitement and move to a new level if you work at it. I once talked to an expert who stated that if a relationship lasts less than four months, it's because this is the stage that requires real work to stay together and most people in these situations like the newness and are serial daters.
You will find the right girl, just be patient. If she drifts to someone else, she wasn't worth having. Just remember that if you are honest about how you feel and you accept your feelings instead of judging them, then you will be truly happy. Honesty with the right person will change your point of view.
Four years and still haven't gotten bored in the least :) We keep each other pretty well entertained with one another. I have never laughed or smiled so much with someone before. It's never gotten anywhere near boring for us
because I stop being your first priority. You used to call ten times a day, I learned your schedule, then suddenly oh I am working so I can't call. Or I have bowling so I will see you tomorrow, When you never wanted to go without me.
As a guy if the girl is getting bored with you, that is a big red sign saying "she is not right for you". If she gets bored of you now you have not future with this girl.
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