Are guys just supposed to shut up while their girlfriend gets FAT?

Question

Apparently, a guy can't tell his girlfriend that she's gaining weight without her breaking down.
Every girl on gag just says the same thing "He's an ass, just dump him"

Are guys just supposed to stay with someone they no longer find physically attractive.
He's making a big effort for being honest and telling her she's gaining weight. Girls want an honest guy but can't handle an honest statement. 

This isn't about me, just something I'm noticing.
Thoughts?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

They are not supposed to shut up, but they are supposed to be tactful about it. It's normal for girls to be sensitive about their weight - they are judged way more harshly by the media, by other girls, by the society for the way they look and they are conditioned to tie their feelings of self-worth to their appearance. Criticizing her and making her feel ugly or unloved will probably just get her to eat more chocolate.

Also, it's important for guys to understand that many girls get fat WAY more easy than guys. I'm speaking from personal experience here - my girlfriend literally eats about one fifth of food that I do (and it's usually less enjoyable food too) and she drinks only water and freshly squeezed juices - so much effort just to keep her weight average (not even skinny) for her 5'9 body type. Most guys wouldn't last a week with that kind of discipline so most guys can't relate. It's not easy to stick with such regime when you're tired stressed, depressed or something. Emotional or hormonal issues can lead to weight gain as well so those should be addressed too.

On the other hand, physical attraction plays an important part in a relationship too, and I think it's important for both men and women to keep making some reasonable effort to look good. Staying fit and taking care of myself (without being obsessed or overdoing it) is something I do not just for me, but to help keep the spark going in my relationship and luckily my girlfriend is the same. In my mind it's just a part of what you do for your partner and your love life, and I'm not talking about always being dressed up or giving a fuck about things you can't change, but just about trying to be fit and make the most of what nature's given you.

Encouraging a girl who is gaining weight to be more active, cooking something healthy, complimenting her when she seems to lose a bit of weight or when she's making an effort to look good etc. can help.

mistninja314 · Accepted Answer

Look GIRLS and people in general, ONLY WANT the TRUTH when it benefits them, right?

Now if the girl was FAT/somewhat chubby when I got with her COOL. But I'd be damn if she thinks that she is going to BLOW UP like a whale (Weight wise) and think the everything is going to be A-okay. Nuh uh it don't' work that way with me/IMHO.

I'm known for my HONESTY/cold heart when it comes to keeping it real. SO unless she gained that weight via birthing OUR kids. She has to either SLOW down on the snacks OR I'm gone, simple as that. i1127.photobucket.com/.../...om-add-text%201_4.gif

mei0313 · Accepted Answer

IF I gain weight and get fat, I'd want him to ask me to hit the gym together instead of him calling me fat lol. I think it is more about the attitude :)

For me if my boyfriend gained weight quite a bit, then I'd worry about his health so I'd want to work out with him regularly and make sure he eats healthy, or I'd tell him I really really really like him with one of his outfits that he wore last summer [but doesn't fit him anymore... ] to let him be motivated to lose weight.

You can let her know and make her lose weight instead of calling her FAT. :/ And also if I care about him and like him enough I'd maintain my weight, work out and eat healthy not just because of my own health, because of him as well.

watashiwahanadesu · Accepted Answer

I'd appreciate it if he told me subtly like hey let's work out together or hey would you want to go (insert a physical activity) together (with the purpose of losing weight) but to bond as well. Ex hiking trips, casual swimming competitions between the two of us, morning runs or evening runs to catch up or make plans. That way I'll be losing weight and he'll be staying fit and we'll be spending time together which will make us get to know each other more ^^

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

hahahaha tell them

Antizzl · Answer

This is not about you. A little bit of tact goes along way. its not being rude its being honest I get it. It still doesn't make it any less hurtful to a woman. What if you told her you are getting a little fat there chubby and she responds thats cool I can lose weight but your dick will still be small?
If you say Shit like that it says more about you than it does about her. If she's a good woman regardless of weight trust me there's 100 guys out there that would take her as is in a heartbeat.

SomeoneImportant · Answer

If you are keeping yourself looking good, then you have every right to tell your girl that she's becoming physically unappealing to you.

Let those girls say what they want, they're supposed to come running to the rescue. Just dumb girl stuff. Never be afraid of being honest with your girlfriend/wife. But again, don't be a hypocrite. Make sure you keep yourself looking respectable before you go calling your girl fat.

Anonymous · Answer

What do you peeps think about this I think Fat acceptance is complete BS

Metlahead · Answer

There is an appropriate and healthy way to approach the issue without being a fucking jerk about it.

Looks ALWAYS fade, for both men and women. Love is about support, understanding, honesty, and communication.

Saying "you are getting fat" or "you need to lose weight" is not a good way to communicate. Why not be motivating instead?

Mgoods · Answer

Think the important part is perhaps the way you phrase it.

Octavion · Answer

I mean did she turn into a glutton and start eating really gross food and is just gaining lubber? Then yeah you can say something. If they are gaining weight from stress telling them they're fat will stress them out and make them more fat. If they become unattractive to you and they don't want to change you should break up. If there's no sexual attraction then it's stupid to stay together.

hypno-trip · Answer

You need to think about your interests as well. If a girlfriend of mine got fat/obese on me and she didn't show almost any signs of controlling herself then I'd dump her. I don't have to force myself to be attracted to someone gross like that. I once called a girl overweight on this site and my comment got removed. But romantically speaking that stuff is not tolerable for many if not most men. It's not like we can ignore it.

peachblossomluck · Answer

Maybe he should ask her what's bothering her instead of focusing on the evidence of her overeating. This has to do with someone not taking care of themselves which means there is some underlying issue.

Anonymous · Answer

Prevention is better than the cure. I just make fat jokes. If a girl finds them offensive she's probably a future fatty, she's afraid of what I'll think if she gets lazy and puts on weight and she doesn't like the expectation of not getting fat, so I'm fine if she doesn't want to see me again. If she finds them funny we're probably on the same page, and she'll probably look after herself, or at the very least she'll have a clue that I'd find her unattractive if she did get fat.

floridanerd10 · Answer

Personally, i think there are two sides to this. If a guy no longer finds someone physically attractive then sure, finish it! It's works the same way with girls. But what if that girl he's with has an amazing personality yet she has gained a little weight. He could dump her and find someone he is more physically attracted to but she could have a horrible personality. Instead of him saying to her... You look fat! As this will hurt her like it does all girls. He could try saying something like 'hey, why don't we start going to the gym together? It'll be fun and we can spend time together!' Just an idea!

Esplorare · Answer

It's all about delivery. If a guy is careless, tactless, and rude with the way he expresses himself and ends up hurting the girl's self-esteem due to his lack of finesse then yes, many females will agree that he shouldn't be her boyfriend.

RationalMale · Answer

if your gf/wife is getting fat and you're still fit, dump her and move on. simple.

Coolguy1928 · Answer

Well, not necessarily. You can say to her that she's gaining a little bit of weight, but better work out to avoid gaining more. :-/

Prof_Don · Answer

Be tactful about this topic... but u can mention how u two can get healthier TOGETHER. This way, u come off as encouraging instead of judgmental.

Wannabehero · Answer

You need to be respectful about it not "babe you're fat go for a run"

Account · Answer

You should. For your own sake.

MrAtticusLebowski · Answer

Depends, do you love said "fat girl"?

Anonymous · Answer

That depends... do you have life insurance?

mutedaisy · Answer

You're suppose to not be an ass about it. Mention anything you want, it's her decision on how she will react to it.

JackKerouac77 · Answer

sex = exercise! art = life! @Ihav2fart

Are guys just supposed to shut up while their girlfriend gets FAT?

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