Girls, Spankings/Disciplining: Survey for anyone who was spanked growing up? (Page 6)

Question

Hey! OK so this is a big (and sometimes controversial) debate that came up in a class and its a topic thats come up in conversations with friends on how they were brought up. It's interesting to see how so many people view spankings as necessary discipline and a normal part of growing up, whereas others see it as a bad thing! Would be interesting to hear from the experiences of everyone here. This survey's probably not relevant if you weren't spanked growing up but if you were, copy and paste the questions and please share your views: 1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline? 2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? 3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? 4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? 5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? 6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? 7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? 8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? 9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? 10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? 11) Did you cry every time? 12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? 13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? 14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? 15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? 16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? 17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents?

Repa33 · Answer

1. Yes sometimes
2. Not often, only as a last form of discipline
3. Only my mom or my dad but normally my dad
4. It was a last ditch effort so anything could potentially be deserving
5. Yes
6. Over thier knee or back
7. I was probably 10 i dont remeber
8. It hurt qnd stung
9. Only hand
10. Over clithes
11. Not every time
12. I felt anger and pain
13. They didn't know. It just made me stop
14. Locking us in our rooms or shutting off wifi.
15. I think it was fine. They never took him too far
16. Nah not at all
17. I would and do similar things my parents did

Val_Evo2 · Answer

1) No, not at all.
2) Rarely by my mom, fairly often by my father.
3) Mostly my father. Yes, grandparents, Aunts, mom's best friend.
4) If I didn't listen, embarrassed them in public, made a big mistake, talked back.
5) Definitely not
6) Either standing or over the knee
7) 16 - Current. I came home way later than expected
8) Like hell
9) Handcuffed in a corner for time out
10) Bare when young, less frequent the older i got. Mostly w/ pants on
11) Before I even got spanked, haha.
12) Embarrassed and sad.
13) I dont know
14) Time outs, taking toys away, back in diapers (younger), taking phone away, no TV, no going out, not paying for dance lessons (current)
15) Only as a very last resort if the kid's behavior is dangerous,
16) With my father, yes.
17) See 15. Talk more, punish less.

MonaLee · Answer

Terrifying how often parents think they have the right to abuse their own child.
Never, ever it's a good thing. Child like any other adult needs respect.
And it's only parents fault if they can't make a dialog or discussion with their kids.
You are teaching, give good /bad example, focus! on a child... And it works till s/he is around 13 y. o... Afterwards It's what you 'put' inside his/her mind and heart. What you gave, you will get!
I feel so sorry for all those abused kids. When I see it in public, I always react.

clouded_out · Answer

1) sometimes
2) rarely. Could probably count the amount of times on my fingers
3) i can't remember, but only parents.
4) being a right fucking annoying twat. When words just didn't shut me up
5) haha yes, after more screaming tantrums though.
6) bent me over a sofa chair, but mostly just where i was standing.
7) like, 8? I really can't remember what any of them were for.
8 ) just sore, but not for long. The crying was more from shock than pain.
9) no, they only threatened to get their belt.
10) both, i think.
11) yes.
12) frustrating and painful
13) I shut up
14) grounding, taking away technology.
15) I think it is justified sometimes. It doesn't have to be hard to make the kid get the message.
16) No, i dont think so.
17) I would, i can't handle kids. Id be surprised if i didn't kill them. I just can't handle the screaming.

JLoKazami · Answer

Im 19 and I still get smacked. It would work until maybe when I was 9 or 10 when I saw I was faster than my parents and would hide before they could get me. After a while. My mom would smack me with whatever was in her hand, I’ve been hit with a spoon, a plate, a shoe, a hair dryer, a curling iron, clothes, towels, etc. I was never embarrassed, they would hit me on the spot if we were in private, but in public we would get the “look” and later get the smack. My dad hit me once with his cap and that’s it. After a while, my mom would try hitting us and we would move so she couldn’t get us and start laughing.

RoseyJade · Answer

1) Yes, in some ways depending on the age.
2) Not often, since I didn't get in trouble much.
3) My grandmother once, but that's it. Otherwise is my father most of the time.
4) If I ate anything out of the kitchen.
5) Yes
6) They didn't care in which way they did it.
7) I was 7 and I believe I broke the TV due to messing around.
8) It'd hurt but not for long.
9) My mother used it a belt, but my father used his hand.
10) Over my clothes
11) Yeah
12) Both I guess? It's been a while so I don't remember all the experiences.
13) Since I wouldn't do it again.
14) Well when I got older they stopped doing that and just started to take away things of mine.
15) I feel like they should get spanked until a certain age where their phone, console, PC, or anything is important to them. It could be other things such as sports related.
16) No, I trust my parents.
17) Same answer as question 15.

LucieI · Answer

1- No.
2- My parents always threatened it, but never actually used it, but they did do it to my older sister.
3- My Mother usually handles discipline, my father's too nice to do it.
4- Sneaking out, terrible grades, lying a lot.
5- My Sister never snuck out again after getting spanked with a belt, so yeah.
6- I don't know
7- Again, I haven't been spanked.
8- I imagine it stings.
9- My Mother used a hand, a belt, or a curtain turner.
10- Probably over clothes.
11- My sister sure did.
12- I would be embarrassed, in pain, and angry.
13- probably because shit didn't happen again Lol
14- They threatened groundation.
15- It's borderline abusive and could lead up to much more. There are very few situations where it should be used, and I would look down on it most of the time.
16- Pfft, I already have those.
17- No, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. Also, I would do a LOT of things differently than my parents.

SarahRosey · Answer

1) Nah I don't
2) Rarely
3) Only my dad
4) Refusing to go to school, swearing and once when I slapped him in the face.
5) Nah, I just acted differently when he was around (lived with my mam, they were divorced) and it also resulted in him losing a custody battle for me and my brothers.
6) Weird question
7) Weird question
8 ) Super weird question
9) Slippers
10) Weird question
11) Yeah I was a kid.
12) Anger
13) No idea
14) Grounding, hiding my shoes so I couldn't go out, refusing to give stuff
15) It didn't make me change my behaviour at all, just made me dislike my dad.
16) Nah, my dad became less strict and nicer over time.
17) I wouldn't spank them at all. I woukd take away their phones/Internet. Think that would be more effective.

Sienna-Rose · Answer

1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline?
Yep can be
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)?
Rarely
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents?
Dad & no
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking?
Fighting, disobeying rules
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong?
Yes
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing?
Lean up against a wall
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do?
7 maybe/broke something in the house I think
8) What did your butt feel like after a spanking?
Slightly bruised
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand?
Belt
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes?
Over clothes

justasunlady · Answer

Well spanking will only stop a child from doing something for fear, but not because they actually know it's wrong and they shouldn't do it. So I'm not in favor of it.
If I had a kid, I'd ideally want them to look at something wrong as a temptation and think "I'm not gonna do it because I know it's wrong and I shouldn't" and not because "I'm scared of getting spanked". If your kid is more afraid of getting spanked from doing something than actually telling right from wrong and being mature, you've raised your kid wrong. It's like Christians who are only scared of not believing in god because they're afraid of going to hell, but nor for god itself. Except I'm not Christian, and I don't believe in god, but yeah. I got spanked about twice in my life. I was more afraid of getting spanked than knowing what I was doing. Your kid should know what they're doing and having a because, not just "that's wrong because I say so" have a reason and be mature

BarbieLola · Answer

1. I don't believe you should spank you child at all.
2. I was spanked, punched, kicked had things thrown at me etc. very often
3. My mom was the only one to use violence to discipline me.
4. Late for school, messy room, watching bad movies, yelling, disrespect, etc.
5. In a way yes but it also made me overly fearful of things - I'm very shy and anxious probably Bc of my childhood.
6. I would get spanked on the spot or trampled.
7. I was 16 and I cried and it became a big fight where my mom made me bleed and kept attacking me
8. Hurt, but my heart hurt more that they would do that to me.
9. Objects were used often.
10. Over clothes
11. I always cried
12. Painful and abused
13. They didn't really
14. I already said; the punching, kicking, scratching, hair pulling, etc.
15. Abuse and never necessary I don't believe in violence
16. Yes without doubt
17. Never would I

anmari2001 · Answer

1) hahahha this almost killed meXD not in modern time but if you are with dominant you will learn some discipline;)
2) sometimes but from my mother, not guys lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3) answer on2)
4) the worst is that I don't remember XD #muchdiscipline
6) i would need some Jesus in such case but luckily I haven't...
just spank me out of the sudden
7) I don't remember
8) guilty and pain, I even punished myself for being bad
9) jezuz, no XD
10) both I think
11) yes, a lot
12) both answer 8)
13) they just hoped haha
14) I don't remember but my mother has always been honest and explain my mistake
15) I will never do such thing what my mother did to me but I will always explain my children why and what is not right to do
it definitely disciplined me but left me with a few complex that I still have
16) no, there was many others reasons but I don't care for being spanked, I know my mother loves me
17) answer 15

I hope I have helped

DanielleMarie98 · Answer

Ah this is really long but I'll give you my input. When I was 3, that was when I started getting spankings. They were for reasons like acting like a brat, acting out (being hyper), or just not listening to what my parents told me to do. As I got older I got hit with a chancla or a switch. I remember one time in school I put gum in another girl's hair and my mom spanked me as soon as I got out of the bathtub, probably the worst day of my life. My mom still hits me with the belt if I'm talking back, but she usually kids around. But she has hit me in the face and in the back multiple times, I snuck out one time and she beat the hell out of me. I didn't fight back because God knows I would lose to her. I love my mom way too much to fight her, and some say I'm crazy for respecting even after she put her hands on me.

strangytie · Answer

1) No
2) Quite often, sometimes with a wooden paddle
3.) Grandma, mum
3.5) Mum's (ex) husband
4) ADHD related forgetfulness
5) It made me afraid but I didn't see the error of my ways
6) Over the lap or while I stood
7) Probably seven and I forgot to turn off the taps and wet the bathroom floor
8) I can't say I really felt the pain, I was more ashamed
8) Mum used her hand, ex used a paddle
9) I think I had clothes on (?)
10) Yeah but out of fear
11) Shameful and distrust of the person doing it
12.) They didn't actually. I don't know I guess they just assumed
14) Dad used a stern talking to (did much more than a slankjng ever did)
15) I don't approve. The times I got paddled were emotional abuse, especially when he did it in front of a foreign exchange student and made her watch
16) Yes
17) No. I don't think any parent should be allowed to lay a hand on their child and cause tears.

enirikiu · Answer

Depending on each individual, the effects of using spanking as a corporal punishment can differ. In my case, spankings are quite effective to some extent. That extent is passed when spankings are used so much that the child develops a resistance to it.

Growing up, I was spanked quite often; eventually, I stopped being scared. My dad did the discipline in my house because no one was scared of my mom. I could easily take her in a fight, anyways, as I know many different types of martial arts. But my dad is really scary; though he is no longer young, he is strong and dangerous. His knowledge of martial arts is much more lethal than mine. No one else spanked me other than him.

My parents would spank me if I destroyed things that were not meant to be destroyed, or played too much. It was effective, but now that I am older, spanking loses effect.

Pomegranate139 · Answer

1. Yes
2. Started a lot at first, then got rarer as I learned to blame others for my bad behaviour
3. My aunt who lived with us
4. Purposely bad behaviour. Not accidental things like breaking stuff, but being rude and hurting people and ruining things on purpose
5. No. It just made me learn to hide them better and lie better. So.. I guess in that sense yeah 😅
6. While standing
7. 12 for being a smartass. They stopped cause it didn't hurt me anymore
8. Sore
9. Wooden spoon, metal spatula, I stick
10. Over clothes
11. Yeah.
12. Embarrassing and painful. It made me angry
13. Cause I cried and wild hide from them after wards
14. Yelling at me worked better.
15. Necessary. I was a brat. I would use it as a last resort.
16. No.
17. Yes. I'd just use my hands

luvstoned4him · Answer

1) Majority of the time , yes. Some people learn when they feel.
2) Frequently.
3) Yes
4) Disobedience, Low grades, Disrespectful
5) There was much improvement but I didn't stop all at once.
6) Right on the spot, not caring where it landed.
7) 7. I was being rude
8 ) Very sore with visible wales.
9) The used hand as well as objects
10) Bare butt
11) Yes
12) It was painful, embarrassing (when done in public)
13) When I stopped doing the wrong things.
14) Belts, spoons, boards, steel, cable wires, brooms, bowls, soap (that was a weird one)
15) The spanking is a good method of discipline for really stubborn kids, just as long as it isn't using instruments or things that can cut or bruise them :(
16) Not so much the spanking as is the use of various items for punishment
17) I would spank them when young but I won't use items when they older, I would just ground them or find other unique ways to raise them.

Zodcc · Answer

Lol too long. But yes I used to get spanked a lot when I was younger and No I don't think it's an effective form of discipline. True I became well discipline after being brought up like this, but it brought hatred to me. I don't know, I just have this anger issue that I can't get rid off. Everytime I get mad I yell, I throw things, I hit and I can't stop it. I always regret it afterwards, but I feel like it's the only way to get rid of anger.

It's confusing, cause a part of me is saying that it's fine getting spanked , and that it's my fault. And another part of me thinks that it's not right. It's like it makes me wanna let others feel how I felt back then and I wanna hurt everyone around me. I really hate this negative feeling so much. Im working on it though, trying to calm down as much as I can in certain situations.

I'm having a jumble of feelings while typing this, so sorry if it's hard to understand. Makes me realize how fck up I am lmaoo

psychoticallyawkward · Answer

In class last week at my uni we were having a debate on spanking too! I was spanked once in my life. I don't remember it. My mom said it was cause I climbed on to the counter to get into the jelly bean jar after she told me many times not to.
I am against spanking except for certain occasions. I do agree that in serious situations that affect child’s safety such as crossing the street a quick spank might be ok. This is b/c child will remember not to do it again. Explaining why it is dangerous to cross street to a 3 year old might go over their heads. Maybe it is best to remove them from danger and spank with love to keep them safe. Maybe at a later time when both are calm ask child if she understands why you did that.

icedtea · Answer

1 hitting a child to teach them a lesson is in my books not okay its basically saying its okay to hit if someones been bad
2 oftern i was a naughty child who didn't follow rules and i still dont
3 mostly my mum but when my unce did the spanking it was for something bad
4 back chatting lying
5 haha no
6 they woud hit me with a woodern spoon on the butt
7 13 and i snuck out to go drink with friends
8 sore and bruised
9 anything in sight sometimes
10 both
11 not everytime i got used to the pain by the time i was 8
12 it was really painful
13they thought it worked but it didn't
14 they would ground me for a long time
15 i think its wrong to hit anyone let alone a child who is still learning
16 defiantly i dont trust my mum at all due to other reasons i get panic attacks really easy being in the same room
17 id never hit my children at all

my mum was not abusive she just thought hitting was a good method

LucyArmstrong · Answer

Discipline. The most important factor of life. With out it I think I'd be a different person.
1. Yes
2. It wasn't frequent. Just when I did something I wasn't supposed to do
3. My mom
4. Simple things when j was young.
5. Yes it was
6. I'd lay on my mom's lap then she'd spank me.
7. Probably like 8 or 9 ish.
8. Painfull.
9. Their hand.
10. Clothes on. But if it was really bad. Skin.
11. Yeah. It hut me. Not because if the pain but the fact that I disobeyed my parents made me cry.
12. Both.
13. When I said I'm sorry.
14. They would make me write a letter to the person that I angered saying sorry.
15. It's definetly necessary discipline.
16. Nope. I love them till the day I die.
17. My parents treated me just right. So I'll do the same. It also depends on the person.

ChosenChoice · Answer

1) Depends on the child
2) Sometimes
3) Both my parents and only my parents
4) I can't remember
5) Yes
6) I remember my mom spanking me bare bottom over her knee and other times while I was standing
7) I can't remember
8) Pain lol
9) Hand, belt
10) Both
11) Yes
12) Painful. Not really embarassing unless in front of others
13) When I did better
14) I would get my hand smacked. I was talked to. I would be grounded, things would be taken away.
15) I think spanking can come in handy, used necessarily. I don't feel it was abuse and I don't exactly feel being spanked was necessary but hey
16) No
17) Yes. I probably wouldn't change anything.

Bananaqueen1 · Answer

1) It plays in it.
2) Often.
3) My parents and sometimes my grandmas.
4) Can't remember but it was When I crossed the line
5) I guess
6) Spank on the spot.
7) It's been a very long time now and I don't remember.
8) Hot and burning lol
9) Hand, belt (ouch), sandal (Hispanic lol)
10) However I was lol
11) I usually would but on rare times I wouldn't
12) Not embarrassing cuz it was only at home. Just painful.
13) They just stopped whenever they were satisfied I guess lol
14) Take away privileges
15) Necessary. But has to be done right.
16) No my relationship with them is good. I know they did it because they love me.
17) It just all depends on the situation.

Malifcent14 · Answer

1. Kind of, but my dad did it to me also as a form of abuse, he just did it bc he wanted to.
2. Very often. My dad and mom. No only my parents spanked me.
4. I don't know
5. Yes, my dad also hit me with a metal spoon.
6. Over the knee
7. I don’t remember maybe 9 or 10. A couple of times on my bare butt, and a couple of times on my birthday while being fully clothed.
11. I cried only a couple of times.
12. Both
13. I never did it again.
14. I don't know of this counts, but my dad would point his pocket knife at me and corner me.
15. I would do it only if I had too.
16. Yes
17. Yes, yes, I’d tell them to sit on the couch for a specific amount of time, like my mom made my sister and I did.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never been spanked by my parents nor at school. Growing up, my parents were busy but mom was monitoring my education closely. Nobody was allowed to even speak in a loud tone to me because my dad didn't like it. I was a mischievous kid but also very sweet so I didn't really need spanking. The only times I was beaten was by my tuition teacher and he hit me so hard that my hands would turn red and I'd get marks. I used to cry a lot and that made me hate going there. I even stopped doing his homeworks and stuff. I never said a word of it to my parents because I didn't want to get him into trouble. Spanking made things worse for me.

Highsxhoolstudent15 · Answer

1. Not really
2. Often but when I turned around 13 years old, it became rare
3. Parents that’s all
4. Everything
5. No
6. spank me on the spot
7. i got it my last spanking at 15, I kept being late to school and my kept yelling at me so I mumbled something under my breath and then he started throwing stuff at me and then he ran to go get the belt and then he whipped me up and then I still mumbled something under my breath afterwards and then he started hitting me in my face .
8. it was anywhere
9. anyhhing close to them
10. Over clothes
11. No.
12. Fucking annoying
14. Take my phone
15. I felt like my parents sometimes were doing it not to discipline but just because they were mad and wanted to hit me. That’s actually why I no longer talk to my dad (I explained it on question 7)
16. Not my mom, i feel like she spanked me at appropriate times and it never made me like cry too much
17. I don't know

Tiffstarr · Answer

1. no 2. rarely 😌my mom never my dad 4. anything that they thought deserved a spanking 5. yes because I did not want to be hit again 6. spank me on the spot with a slipper 7. my last age of spanking was 12 and I ripped open all my older brothers condoms and threw them out 8. Not very good 9. always a slipper 10. over clothing 11. yes except when I was 12 bc it wasn’t that bad 12. painful but never embarrassing unless it was in front of someone which never happened to me 1😌 I would never do it again 14. grounding, take away electronics 15. no never use spanking mine was never abuse 16. no never 17. no I would never

WillowDahPillow · Answer

1) No, but I always hated it.
2) Often.
3) My father.
4) Anything they didn’t like.
5) Take something.
6) Knee.
7) Complaining about being hungry, 10 or so.
8) Sore as fuck.
9) It was often a metal spatula or a wood oar.
10) Bare
11) Yea.
12) Both. Pissed off and a bit abused.
13) They didn’t.
14) None other.
15) If it’s terrible like assault. Other than that no. I’ll never do that to my children.
16) Definitely.
17) like I said, only with assault. Other then that a time out or taking things should be sufficient.

CINDY16 · Answer

1-yes. So they won't do it again but only spanking when in big trouble
2-often
3- by my mom and sometimes grandparents or uncle
4- don't remember but i wasn't really a troublemaker
5-yes
6- hit on the spot
7- 14 years old because i was on my phone when inwas supposed to sleep
8-not only butt but my legs hands or sometimes my head (but not hard)
9-with hand or stuff that were laying on the floor and also bamboo stick
10- over the clothes hahah it still hurts tho
11- not every time but when i was younger yes
12- never embarrassed but more painful
13- if i didn't do it again
14- kneeling (not sitting) with arms open like jesus
15- it's necessary to me and i would hit me kids to discipline them
16- no were closer
17- yes and i dont know yet

Elaine446 · Answer

It won't let me put the whole thing so I'll just put the answers.
1. Yes I believe in spankings for discipline.
2. I was rarely spanked.
3. My dad was the one who mostly disciplined me.
4. Usually if I didn't do something I was told, lying about someone /something.
5. Heck yes, it was affective.
6. I would just bend over.
7. The last spankings I ever got was when I was 11
8. It just stung for a few mins. Maybe 3-5 mins.
9. Usually they used a belt.
10. Over my clothes.
11. No I didn't cry every time.
12. It was just painful... Not over bearing but enough to make me stop.
13. Because I didn't do that same thing for a long time.
14. Time outs, and lectures.
15. I believe in spankings for discipline, and no I do not feel it was abuse.
16. No anger, or distrust with my parents.
17. Yes I would spank my children, and no there isn't anything I would change.

Girls, Spankings/Disciplining: Survey for anyone who was spanked growing up? (Page 6)

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