What should I do with a girl who plays hard to get?

[TigerRoseBear]

Please answer :)

So I like this girl, and I know that she likes me back (I know she likes me, but she doesn't know that I know). I think she probably guesses that I like her too, based on the fact that I sent her an email yesterday, even though she never gave me her email address, and the only way I knew her email was I saw her email address in a group email sent out to like 20 people, and the group email was from the end of August. And I emailed her because I heard she was sick, and I pretty much just told her get well, and congratulations on doing well in a squash tournament this past weekend. I emailed her because she didn't show up to squash training yesterday (we train together), and that's when I heard from two people that she was really sick. So she never ended up replying to the email. Then today, she showed up to training, and I asked her, "Oh, you got better?" and she said that she was never sick (?), but just went to see her school basketball game yesterday, and her brother (13 years old) played along at first but after around five minutes said to me that she was sick, but even after I asked her "then why did your brother say you were sick?" she still said she wasn't sick. I don't know, maybe she just has a really weird sense of humor - for example, she told me a couple weeks before her birthday when exactly her birthday was, and a couple of days before her birthday, I went up to her and said, "hey, your birthday's coming up, right?" and she said "no, it was last Saturday", even though it was the coming Saturday. Then, on her birthday (Saturday), she told everyone it was her birthday.

Anyways, it just seems like she plays hard to get a lot of the time even though I know for sure she likes me. And one time, I saw her trying to make me jealous - she talked to a boy for about a minute in plain view of me (like, they were right in front of me about 10 meters away, and I was on a spin bike, so I was directly facing them), and after he left, she looked at me to see if I was looking at her, but I pretended I was looking at something beside her, and she saw that I was looking at something else, and so she looked at what I was looking at for around 2 seconds then carried on doing what she was doing.

Pretty much, again, I think she plays hard to get a lot even though she likes me. What should I do with someone like that? Do girls who play hard to get want to be chased, and is it a good idea to chase them, and really try to show them that you like them, or is it better to play hard to get as well (in moderation of course)?

Updates

+1 y

I know some of you think that her not replying to the e-mails means she doesn't like me, but I know for sure she likes me...

If you want to know how I know, read the description / updates of this: (see next update)

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+1 y

link

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+1 y

Another thing: A lot of you seem to think that any girl who plays games is a bitch. I don't really know this girl well enough to know if she's a bitch or not - if I get to know the real her, I could find that she's a really nice girl. But anyway, to...

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+1 y

the people who think she's a bitch: I'm pretty sure that often, girls play games (e.g. hard to get) because they just want their crush to like them back, not because they're mean or manipulative. So I would like to get to know this girl, instead of...

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+1 y

just labeling her a "bitch" and not wanting anything to do with her.

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+1 y

I think that ignoring her back seems to work (today I ignored her at training, and she ignored me, but then she sat in front of the court I was playing on watching me for about five minutes - which is actually a long time), but what should I do after? I..

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+1 y

think I do want to ask her out sometime, but I'm not sure how to, or where we would go (maybe the movies, what do you think).

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+1 y

Thanks for answering, everyone! So, I feel pretty stupid now lol, because I thought she liked me, but it turns out she doesn't - I asked her two days ago if she wanted to see a movie with me sometime, and she just smiled, said she was really busy, and

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+1 y

walked away. Here's what happened today: link

[ArtistBboy]

With women that play hard to get - they enjoy that whole chase/attraction/etc thing because they get to know a bit about you in the process. If you show her/tell her you like her (to this "hard to get" type of gal) then you are gonna be ending the game.. But if you don't speak up, she'll never know you were interested, soon give up any hope she had, and move on to a new guy.

You're best bet is by learning how to apply resistance to your emotions.. just because you like her, doesn't mean you should be gawking at her ass.. Just because you like her, doesn't mean you should listen to her story about how she wasn't sick, when she was, then how her brother says she was sick, and she says she wasnt.. That will play mind tricks with you and get you more focused on the story than with the outcome.

Women LOVE it when you can understand and respect them. Work on it.. If you are having difficulty believing her already (thinking she's playing hard to get, etc - when she was telling you the truth)- then how do you expect the relationship will turn out? I think a lot of problems, fights, etc...

My other tip - through the idealization that women play games out the window.. Most guys who "don't get women" will think about these game-playing behaviors and try to imitate them.. That's NOT what you want to do.. You want to understand what they are looking for, then don't let them get it as easily as handing it over on a silver platter. You want them to WORK for what they are getting. The minute you understand that, you will understand a good foundation for what attraction is.

Any questions I haven't covered?

~ ArtistBBoy

[TigerRoseBear]

Thanks. So pretty much I should kind of play hard to get, kind of flirt with her / be nice.

[ArtistBboy]

With moderation, yes.

[TigerRoseBear]

Okay thanks.

[ArtistBboy]

Movies are boring - try the local skating rink or have a group of friends and play tackle football.. But don't kill the poor girl.

As for asking her out - SLOW DOWN HORSEY.. You haven't nearly the influential state for her to consider dating you; give it a lot longer than what you have given it already.. I mean like wait at least a week - unless you are gonna go balsy and see if she'll date you currently.. I think you'll have a higher failure rate if you ask her sooner rather than later.

[markml]

If the girl changes her story a lot (or there's these inconsistencies that don't make sense)...BE CAREFUL!

This is the #1 warning sign that there's more going on with this girl than you're seeing.

Some girls liked to be chased, but that doesn't mean they like being caught. Kind of like how Bugs Bunny always tricks Elmer Fudd into chasing him only to lure him into a trap.

Girls also go out of their way to control their image to guys. You think you see everything that's going on, but in reality you only see what she wants you see. I wouldn't be surprised if she's doing this with a number of guys too. Even if she isn't, it's mainly because she doesn't see any other guys at the moment who she can play with in her game.

And she is playing a game, I guarantee you. If you want to have any chance of winning, you need to first figure out what that game is. Then reverse it if you can.

[NeverDoubt]

First of all, you're dealing with an off-kilter girl here. She's a bit strange, like what you said about her sense of humor. But yeah. I don't know about everyone else, but a lot of girls I know (including myself) like to play that game with guys we like, if we think they like us back. Kind of like cat a mouse. It's mostly just fun so play back. Ignore her a little or tease her maybe? Don't start falling over for her though, cause that's usually a bad thing. It ends up with one of you losing interest.

Then again, she might just be weird and not know how to act in that sort of situation so she falls into the instinctive role of seeing if you'll get jealous or kind of testing waters. Honestly, the best advice would be to just ask her out. Ask her to the movies and/or dinner.

[TigerRoseBear]

Thanks. I think I'll stick with your first advice - playing back a bit. But I think it'd be pretty weird to ask her out to dinner cause I'm only 16... and teenagers don't usually have formal dates lol... but I'm thinking of just asking her if she wants to play squash with me alone sometime during my Christmas break (after next week). What do you think?

[NeverDoubt]

Im sixteen too and yeah the dinner thing is kind of weird, but movies is totally normal. I think your idea for inviting her to play squash with you is great! It can help to establish what is going on between you guys.

[anabell]

yes,i love playing hard. you know y? it's because we want you to chase us. show your honesty that you really like us. when we started to fall for you and trust that you guys really like us,that's when we will chase you back.haha. basically,it's all about trust. for us,it's hard to trust guys because that's what we had in mind.for ex: we think that guys are all sweet talker.but once when you got our trust,we don't wanna lose you. just don't give up.keep on trying.

p/s:girls don't be too hard to get.too hard to get will lose an interest from a guy :(

[TigerRoseBear]

Thanks for answering. That doesn't help me with this girl, but I'm sure that will help me later on in life! :)

With this girl, what ended up happening is two days ago, I asked her to go see a movie with me, and she said she was really busy. So, yeah - I got rejected :P

[anabell]

what you give up now? you said that you are sure that she likes you. I tell you what,the guy that had an interest in me had to asked me out for many2 times till I said yesnot 5 times but more that that..i gave a lot of excuses just by not going out with him. maybe she might does not have an interest in you but if you like her I don't think you should give up.but,if she says that she likes someone else or she's seeing someone else,that's when you should back off.

[TigerRoseBear]

Well I don't want to make things awkward between us, especially since I'll be training with her for about two and a half more years. I think if I keep asking her out, that might make it awkward. But you don't think so?

[anabell]

alright don't push her by asking out.maybe she's not ready yet.i can make a suggestion by going out in group after training.or maybe you and the rest teamates can seat together chilling out for a break after training.after she feels comfortable,she might change her mind.don't make it too obvious that you like her.it might freaks her out.

[markml]

I think anabell's assessment of this girl is correct, although I wouldn't necessarily go with her advice.

Many girls like being chased, but rarely do those same girls like being caught. That's what I wrote in my answer below. It's not as simple as does she "like you" or does she "not like you". She likes that you're showing interest in her, but that doesn't mean she likes you.

And of course, from a girl's perspective, you should keep trying. From a guy's perspective, it may not be worthwhile.

[TigerRoseBear]

Okay, thanks. I think I'll just be kind of friendly and hope that she starts acting normally again.

[Anonymous]

Pull your pants down, stick your hard erection in her mouth & show her who is in charge. Shove your penis all the way in & make her deep throat it. Show her you are not one to be played, good luck!

[Roush]

Yeah doo that. That won't end you up with a restraining order a sex offender sign above your house

[Opinion Owner]

It will be his word against hers

[TigerRoseBear]

Well I actually almost did that, but I dunno, something just came over me when I was sneaking up on her with my hand on my belt buckle. I just couldn't do it - I don't even know why. Strange, huh?

[Chester_Cheeto]

What--

[toulouse]

I don't know, maybe she just has a really weird sense of humor - for example, she told me a couple weeks before her birthday when exactly her birthday was, and a couple of days before her birthday, I went up to her and said, "hey, your birthday's coming up, right?" and she said "no, it was last Saturday", even though it was the coming Saturday. Then, on her birthday (Saturday), she told everyone it was her birthday.

lol

i met a guy on his birthday he told me when it was I gave him a present them we dated. I left for a year came back and after 9 months I said your b-days coming up right? and e said yes but he wouldn't tell me when it was lol He liked me but he did all sorts of things like that. can't think of them off the top of my head, but he did:) That just made me laugh.

[TigerRoseBear]

Haha :P

So I saw your comment on the bottom, and I agree with you. What do you think I should do though?

[toulouse]

Still thinking about it lol.. I'll write back tho :P

[TigerRoseBear]

Haha okay thanks :)

[toulouse]

:-) :-)

[amanda32]

I know you like here and everything, but her not responding to your email means she's not interested. if she was, she would have said something back, whether it be short or not.

This girl likes bad boys, so don't try to be too sweet with the whole sick thing. If you want to get her to like you, you're gonna have to act way too busy for her and make it to where you guys can hang out when YOUR schedule is free. You should try asking her to a movie or something... but definitely do it in person. Make sure you act bold about it too! That's the best thing you could start with ;) good luck!

[tiffanymarie_19]

TO ME, IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHE'S PLAYIN HARD TO GET...SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SHE'S A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR OR SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU...ANY WOMEN I'VE EVER KNOWN DOESN'T PLAY HARD TO GET IN THAT MANNER. BUT WOMEN LOVE TO BE PURSUED, SO IF YOU THINK SHE REALLY LIKES YOU, GO FOR IT.

[imconflicted69978]

Try not to manipulate attention or miscommunicate. Those are the two most likely things to end or never start a relationship. Don't ignore her, because she might get the wrong message. Take the safer route and just tell her how you feel, but don't literally chase her down and stalk her. It sounds like she is really sorta strange but wants attention. But confess your feelings in a calm, simple, and collected way, because you can never be sure if someone likes you. I know that sometimes people think that I like them because I "play hard to get" but really I'm just sorta paranoid and I want them to stop liking me! But if your gut says she likes you, go for it! Good luck!

[italykam]

How do you know she feels the same? Playing hard to get is different from trying to ignore someone. It seems to me that she may not be interested in you, so I would just stop the connection and move on. Plenty of other girls out there that are worth going after than one who doesn't seem sure.

[Anonymous]

Seems like you are confusing hard to get with being a liar. I'd walk away while you still can. If she was just playing hard to get, I'd walk away anyway. Hard to get is the opening act for head games.

[ArtistBboy]

We don't have sufficient grounds to assume she was lieing. She may have been sick but didn't want him to know, in fear he might run away because she could get him sick.. Women are weird like that..

[Xo-Lindsay-oX]

How do you know for a fact that she likes you? And if you honestly feel that way then yeah ask her to the movies, you've got nothing to lose by it

[TigerRoseBear]

link

[CallBaby]

treat her kind and then cold for awhile. She'll fall for you. I always have guys interested me. I like to see if they will persist or not after playing hard. I met someone I really like and trying to stop now. If anything I'm done now with playing games. Try playing hard to get but not too much though OK. Wish you luck

[AskAly214]

Give her a lot of attention, and then cut her off! ha ha works on me :p

[TigerRoseBear]

Haha thanks for answering, but it's kind of over now... I asked her out two days ago and was rejected. Oh well :)

But, it'd be awesome if you could answer this question:

link

Thanks :D

[Chester_Cheeto]

My god you're a genius.

[stewie16]

Play her back. It makes girls want you more. If she really does like you she will follow you until she gets your approval.

[Anonymous]

Personally I'd move on. Any woman who plays hard to get and other head games isn't worth it.

[TigerRoseBear]

Lol but I like her... :(

And I don't really know if I want to have a serious relationship with her... for all I know, she could actually be a nice person once you get past her head games. And I've never actually been with a girl, and I'd like to just have some fun with her and see what it's like.

I would move on if I knew she didn't like me, but it seems like a wasted opportunity by moving on instead of having fun and being with a girl if I have a crush on a girl and she has a crush on me too.

[Opinion Owner]

For women who play head games, playing hard to get is the opening act. Stick with it if you want, I hope I'm wrong but I've been in relationships that started that way. Good luck man.

[TigerRoseBear]

Thanks. Yeah, I think I do want to stick with it. Any tips?

[ArtistBboy]

Unfortunately the ending outcome is typically the same; however, the nice factoid about women who are "hard to get" is that you didn't have to worry about them sleeping with other men "the same as" your ex who was really easy to get.. ;D

[Brian437]

She is not a nice person if she plays games. Move on regardless of whether she likes you or not. If you do continue to chase her, you may end up spending lots of time and money and you may still not get her in the end. "Wasted opportunity" is better then wasting thousands of dollars and several years on someone who has no respect for your feelings.

[jazzer]

she definitely likes you! and you should stop showing off you like her. just pretend you ignore her, I mean you see her as others. she will run to you. cause when a girl lost the attention she used to have, she can do everything to get it back!

[TigerRoseBear]

Okay thanks! :) I'll do that.

Are you saying "she definitely likes" me from reading the link in the update?

[TigerRoseBear]

Also, what should I do after I ignore her? (I can't ignore her forever.) Another thing is that my parents don't really approve of teenage dating.

[TigerRoseBear]

Never mind, I think sometime I'd be able to date her (maybe during the Christmas holidays) - that is, if I can ask her out.

[Anonymous]

What should I do with a girl who plays hard to get? <<<

Easy. Forget your enlongated stories and reasons. Just forget the bitch. Simple.

[Stefan1987]

If she plays hard to get, then I walk away! its that simple. I have no time for childish woman like that.

[elbarto]

don't go there look at were I'm at .

[23tdmoss]

hahahaha

[23tdmoss]

ditch her for me babe lmao!

[Anonymous]

got the same problem man

[TigerRoseBear]

Haha okay, but that doesn't really help :P

[ArtistBboy]

Read above.

[toulouse]

Well apparently I'm blocked by both anons or its the same guy^^

Anyways I wanted to respond to Artist Boys comment about girls not telling when they are sick:-)

Idk if its a girl thing, but in general I don't like telling people when I'm sick. It looks weak &whats true for casual acquaintances is doubly so for a person I'm interested in.

And to add, generally speaking, what may appear to be a mind game, could simply be some1sorting themselves out without getting too entrenched emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Forget her

[bwaybabe247]

Go for it.