What are your thoughts on women defining what a "real man" is?

Question

I think it's comical when women tell me what a "real man" is. Every woman has their own unique definition of it. It's basically traits that they personally find attractive in a man. Women don't know a fucking thing about being a man. I'll be my own man with my own morals and values. My own life experiences have shaped those morals and values. If you don't like it then you can kiss my half mexican/white ass and get the fuck on out the door.

One example here... "Real men don't ever call women bitches." - If you're acting like a salty ass bitch, I'm going to let you know you're acting like a salty ass bitch. I treat people the way they treat me and I call men out on their bullshit as soon as I call out men. You don't get a handout because of your genitalia.

englisc · Accepted Answer

I think that this idea that "everybody has their own definition" is bullshit, for the same reason that many of those women's opinions on masculinity are bullshit.

Masculinity is definable. People, if they're being honest and they aren't talking PC nonsense, can tell a masculine guy from a non-masculine guy. They usually don't put it into words very well which is the biggest problem, but they know what it is when they see it.

However, many people want to define masculinity/femininity based on what they'd like it to be and not what it actually is, which is why it's bullshit.

When women talk about masculinity usually it's based on the way they want men to act. "Real men do this, real men don't do that". Usually these things have absolutely nothing to do with masculinity at all, just something they want to shame men into doing.

Then when many men talk about it, especially emasculated men, they want to redefine it to include things that aren't masculine at all - because if they can make their weak behaviour somehow masculine, then they no longer have to feel like they aren't. For them it's often a flipping upside down of masculine values.

When everybody can define it and make it mean whatever they want it to mean, it becomes completely meaningless.

I'd say that women should have less of a say on masculinity because they don't understand men at all. However, I'd also say that most men today are just as clueless.

SwoleCook · Accepted Answer

Everyone knows a real man has a 6 figure salary 8 inch cock and is 6’1

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

I feel the same way about it as I feel about people who claim girls with no curves are not "real women." It's stupid. Everyone is allowed to have their own personal opinions but just because someone prefers curvy women doesn't mean women who aren't shaped that way are "not real women." By the same token, I like certain physical and behavioral traits in men but that doesn't mean men who don't possess those traits are not "real men."

People who say things like this are only saying it as a way to bring down others because they don't fit their personal ideals or standards (whether that be how they physically look, their behavior, their morals, etc.). Basically, it's just a shaming tactic used by entitled people who want to change you (or attempt to make you feel bad about yourself) so it shouldn't be taken seriously.

PIXLPIXI · Accepted Answer

It's the same as a man defining it. Like you said 'every woman has their own unique definition', same goes for every man. Genders aren't a collective or hive mind. If I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch. If you're a bitch, you're a bitch.

MlleCake · Answer

There was a satirical book many years ago called "real men don't eat quiche".

I don't worry too much about having a hard and fast definition of what a real man is.

To me what gives a person depth is a varied collection of traits. No one is perfect, so I don't expect anyone to fit in whatever pigeon hole I might put them in.

"Realness" to me is mostly about being self-aware and authentic. But that's the same thing I like to see in women too. I like being with people who feel free to be themselves.

Cupcakes33 · Answer

'' A Real Man''
to me, is a man who is respectful of others, sticks to his moral values, defends himself when needed and the people he cares about, someone who's responsible for his actions, who can take charge and make decisions and own up to his mistakes.
It's someone who isn't afraid of revealing his emotions, of showing his vulnerable side to the woman he loves, of loving her and holding nothing back.
someone who's gentle and kind, especially to his woman, yet is completely capable of protecting her and supporting her (I don't mean financially). It's about being L O Y A L and devoted to her.
It's someone who is deep, not shallow and superficial, who seeks deeper connection, who feels a sense of purpose in life.

It's NOT about the size of his cock, it's NOT about his income, or his muscles and six-packs.

It's about values, honor and empathy.

Wolfy39 · Answer

Society / media has been bringing up a specific image if the ideal man and how a real / masculine man should and should not act or do. The expectations are so drilled inside the mind of the masses and our culture that it became a source of stress for men and a manipulation weapon for women when they expect a man to conform to the idea she had drilled in her head while growing up. In nature : male and female. men / women are words used to differentiate between youngsters (boys n girls) and grown ups. The rest is a morphing social construct.

Chaz269 · Answer

They are entitled to their own opinions, but women don't define what a real man is unless you let them. In which case, you're not much of a man. What's ironic is that women inherently know this. There's a reason women are not attracted to the sweethearts who mutilate and mold themselves to meet their expectations, and swoon over the douchebags who don't listen to their opinions, let alone respect them. It's a strange game they play, and there's no question as to why fewer men are playing along year in and year out.

Adam_INTJ · Answer

Women try to define what a "real man" is when they're trying to get at your ego. And win an argument. It's best to just let it slide and continue arguing your point, because she reels that she's losing the argument. But don't I insult her--because she'll jump on that and make the whole thing about "oh you're mean" rather than "Dang, maybe he's right" watch what bill burr says about arguing with women.

Next time she tells you that, say "what, I'm a fake man? I've got the dick to prove it--wanna see? A real woman would know a real man like me when she sees me"

Adrianna7868 · Answer

He can stand up for himself, but not be rude about it. He has confidence, but not arrogance. He cares for you, but is not overly clingy. He is independent, but not cocky. He is a gentleman, but doesn't expect anything in return. He is competitive, but not a sore loser. You get where I'm going with this right? A real man is someone with every masculine trait in the book, but not to the extreme.

Factshurt90 · Answer

We all have our own definition. Which is fine. What is NOT fine is to go around expecting men to meet this definition we have. Men are individuals with their own values... when they don’t meet our expectations it’s time to leave. Not insult with our own ideals.
It’s really rather simple.

torken · Answer

I guess it might be comical, but on the other hand it is useful to learn what traits women want out of men.
As a straight man, I'm looking to get with the ladies, so if there are some minor things I can glean from listening to them, I'm more than happy to do so. Its a win win right?

NeglectedChild · Answer

Women can identify positive and negative traits just as well as a man can. The idea of a "real man" is often an embodiment of moral or positive attributes which varies from culture to culture. The idea of a "real man" is subjective.

If someone doesn't fit a certain culture's idea of a "real man" then it's obvious to see for anyone with a working mind. If one culture considers strength to be the sign of a real man then a man who is weak clearly doesn't fit that criteria.

Bandit74 · Answer

I've always felt like was an attempt to shame men into behaving a certian way.

I also find it hypocritical because a lot of the time the same women who try define what a "real man" is would cry sexism if they were to hear a man talking about what characteristics define a "real woman".

lifelearner011 · Answer

I think we all are born humans, yet with experiences, awareness and self commitment we choose to develop as "real" women, men, xyz.
For me a "real man" is a gentleman, a responsable and kind person who's humble, respectful and ambitious towards being his best and developing a path with his life.

Exterminatore · Answer

I have no issue with women defining what a real man is so long as it’s properly defined and not a divisive definition designed to serve women and their imperatives and used to malign men, and so long as the gynocracy that currently exists which has indoctrinated people to what that definition is not a cause of influence in that definition.

What are your thoughts on women defining what a "real man" is?

NatMat · Answer

I don’t think it’s fair on a guy because it means women just expect a man to fall into this stereotype and basically expect them to be a walking robot that’s not allowed to feel emotions :(

Blonde401 · Answer

There isn’t a “real man” or “real woman”. It’s a throw away term invented to make others feel inadequate.

Arne123123 · Answer

It's just a tactic to shame a guy into doing what she wants. A REAL man would pay my car payments, A REAL man would would do everything around the house without me even saying anything. I have litteraly been told this.
The funny part is, i would say not letting yourself be shamed, pressured or influenced into doing stuff is a part of being a real man.

stormbreaker06 · Answer

its ok. but most women have high standards of what a real man is and most of their standards are unreachable to most and are only reachable by a couple suckers.

most of these high standard women end up divorce anyways, because the man matures to realize he was manipulated. by the time he realizes its too late she already owns half of what he got.

Wifflesnoofer63 · Answer

Anytime a woman gives an opinion, it's like watching a monkey on roller skates. It's funny, even though they really don't understand what they're doing.

Salmon4056 · Answer

My thoughts on that subject are really nothing other than that the individual has her own preference in what she wants in a man, the same goes with individual men who may try defining what a "real wife" or "loving women" is.

RationalMale · Answer

Funny that women attempt to define what a man is and should be. He should be a cuckold and date a single mom. He should pay $100 for a real first date. Etc etc.

Meanwhile, try just suggesting to a woman that women look a lot more attractive with long hair, and watch them lose their minds!

BlondeGirl_ · Answer

Well yea obviously all men are real men. I get that it may be annoying when some women say shit like that. Vice versa too, like "a real woman does/is..." Just bs man, people telling other people how to be.

What are your thoughts on women defining what a "real man" is?

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