Shafaq_Mahnoor96 wants to hear from Guys only. Login to share your opinion.
NO. Sorry, I really had to get my point across. For most it's actually a turn on: let me elaborate. I had a girl who I thought average like the others but I found out from my sister's friend that she had a crush on me, and from there I felt a kind of thrill and disbelief in the possibility that a girl had a crush on me! She wasn't exactly my type, but I couldn't care less. I, much like any other guy in my situation, was excited that someone of the opposite gender thought me attractive, and so I messaged her, she eagerly messaged back and we talked for months, though it seemed to never go past us being "friends". After the summer holidays, I said hi again but she never replied, and at school it was like nothing ever happened, like I was a complete stranger. I was never rude to her, perhaps that was my mistake: girls like 'bad boys', not nice guys. So no, a girl chasing a guy isn't a turn off for the guy, it's a turn on.
Well yeah I believe she probably lost Interest in you. That's usually what happens to me, I lose Interest in guys that are "Too nice" and mundane. Then I usually stop talking to them when I get too bored. Eventually things become boring, then we Just stop talking without any real explanation lol. What frequently happens is me and the guy are Interested in each other from the start, then we don't have anything to talk about after talking to each other prior. Then yeah Just like that he stops Initiating contact less often compared to how much he used to. Then we both start losing Interest at the same time. Then we Just stop talking lol. But you're probably generally speaking that it's a turn on because you've only been chased and pursued by Just one girl haha
It doesn't bother me. Im a very specific kind of man very very traditional and when girls who have always wanted a man like me meet me some do chase me. So no that doesn't turn me off because it means they were waiting for someone like me and i understand most men are nothing like me and they probably never met someone like me before. In fact most of them tell me this as well. So its ok. But if im just sleeping around like i did when i was younger yeah id find it desperate and id take advantage of those girls making them buy me stuff or fuck my crew just to keep getting my attention.
Lol you're mean. And you seem very self entitled lol I actually got taken advantage of after a guy found out I liked him. If you don't like us then tell us Instead of taking advantage, we'd already be hurt by the fact that you didn't like us back, you'll only be adding more fume to the fire of pain if you also take advantage. So have some mercy on us lol cause if you were in our position you would also be hurt from us doing that to you. Treat other now you yourself would like to be treated...
*Others
*How
Most girls do that to us guys too and it happened when i was younger but its not good. I dont do it anymore.
It's good that you don't, but there's still guys today that still do that. Someone needs to really teach them a proper lesson, I believe guys know that girls are more vulnerable so that's why they use them..😕
Socially it's a good thing to do to show interest. But naturally I think guys won't be attracted to girls chasing them. It sounds great at first but after some time it will be a turn off. Showing signs that she's attracted to a guy in the initial stages of their communication is a good thing. A smile would do it every time. Girls do know this very well. It's rare when girls chase guys. Guys are more emotionally capable, so they often try to make guys fall for them emotionally by doing things that may seen counterintuitive at first.
The reason it's rare for girls to chase guys is because we think that guys will see us as "Desperate" or "Clingy". And we are told that "The more you chase him, the more he'll run". So we think that they will pull away, avoid us completely or get scared off, which is the opposite of what we usually want lol... so that's why you don't see us chasing guys at all. We would love to chase you but can't take the risk to avoid scaring him off or getting creeped out by us lol
Yea, I've always found anyone "chasing" anyone pathetic and desperate. Doesn't matter if It's a guy or girl doing the chasing.
To me, if someone says "no, I don't want to go out with you"... I don't understand the thought process behind wearing them down until they are annoyed into it. Seems pathetic.
Yeah sometimes it can be a waste of time to chase, especially if the person being chased isn't as Interested or eager as the person chasing them. It could also push away the person that she's Interested in even more...
If I'm not on the same romantic crush level of this girl that's chasing me, then it can go from being quite sweet and (being a slight ego booster) to becoming downright annoying and scary in some extremes, that's a turn off. If we however have the same feelings for them, then it's the best feeling of romantic tension and attraction.
Yeah I thought it might become annoying. It would only be scary if she was acting all stalkerish. But sometimes there's another word for stalking, people call it stalking but I see it as love. But yeah it's true that if you guys are on the same page then you would like it obviously.
I'm not very good at reading social queues. If a girl straight up says that she likes me and wants to date, that'd be a turn on for sure (it's nice when the person you like likes you back).
It can depend on how they 'chase,' though. I imagine it's a turn off to be stalked, or to have a girl you just met talk about how she wants to get married and have kids with you.
Haha of course that kind of stuff what scare guys away easily. But if you think about it no girl has ever discussed marriage and kids right off the bat like that. Only if the girl is a psycho haha. But what if you don't like her and she likes you and is chasing you? But every girl in her lifetime has FB stalked someone before and not Just girls everyone has done it at least once before. But excessive stalking I assume is what you mean.
I don't know what you mean by "chasing," then.
If I don't like her beforehand, then her flirting and following me around everywhere would not help.
And yes I'm talking about excessive stuff. I have friends who have been given unwanted kisses by women they just met while they're working, and I have been groped (jokingly?) by women I don't know.
Well that was probably harassment that you experienced. They were probably Interested in you, but went about it in the wrong way. And yes of course following the guy around while he's not Interested could possibly make things worse...
Women keep asking this. And i keep answering, "no". You're either interested in a woman or not whether she pursues you or not makes little difference. I don't consider any woman that pursues to be desperate, rather she knows what she wants and is not passive about waiting for it to come to her.
A lady friend i have a lot of respect for wad such a woman. She not only pursued the man who eventually became her husband. But she's been happuly married to him for 13 years. And counting.
Oh okay, but I suppose it can depend on the guy aswell. Some guys Just don't being like chased and would rather be "The chasers", but that's what we've always believed. Apparently it doesn't seem like it's true for the majority.
Yes I knew that too, it would probably drive him even further away and we would probably come across as creepy. Of course a guy has a right to reject too, I never said that he doesn't. But I believe a guy and a girl both have to put equal amounts of effort in to show how much they're Interested in each other, not Just the girl or the guy...
But if a guy really wants a girl he would make the first move. If a guy really liked her he would go after her first. It could work either way if you think about it. You're statement is also correct, I'm Just saying that it could go the other way too. You can look at it from a different angle.
A girl chasing after me is flattering, and even a turn on... to a point.
If I make it clear that I'm not interested, and/or don't return her interest, and she keeps it up; that is irritating, and annoying.
Oh so it is only certain girls? And she might still secretly remain Interested with you, from afar without chasing you, it's still a possibility.
Well, I wouldn't say that it's only certain girls, no.
Unwanted attention/infatuation would be annoying from anyone, after a point, no matter the girl, or the circumstances. I'm speaking purely hypothetically, here, but there is a limit between flattering and annoying.
Oh okay... gotcha
No I see it as flattering but there is of course good way of chasing and bad. So it can really depend how it's done. Sometimes the way they treat you can be insulting.
How would it be Insulting? Can you give an example? Also what type of chasing do you believe is "Good" and which do you believe is "Bad"?
Your way of approaching me and your choices in words tells me a lot of what you think about me and that can be insulting. I am not a dumb horny dog, (treat me as a piece of meat with no brain) neither am I a walking wallet ask me to buy you a drink and I will think your trying to use me to get a free party, you should be asking if you can buy me a drink or if I share the company of a drink with you. I choose who I buy drinks to and when. I think you can see the pattern here guys want to be treated in same way you women wants for the most parts. Not be pure sex objects, being someones sex object is fine if I know that is not all I am to them. If you just want sex I am sure some other guy can help you I won't. Be flirted and appreciated, not made fun off and so on I think you should see the pattern by now.
Oh okay, those are Interesting types of examples...
Been chased by a few. Only one took it to far.
The rest were hella fun.
Usually though I'm the one doing the chasing and that in itself is a turn on and fun.
Lol I bet the one that took it too far was really determined and wanted you badly, the rest probably Just gave up...
No way that's such a major turn on for me. Like even if the girl is not attractive I start finding her attractive if I find out she's crazy about me.
Lol we need guys like this, it would make our chasing easier haha but in reality most of the guys would run away if we were unattractive and after them. Unless you were being sarcastic hahaha
Ohh so you're alone, and you crave female attention that's why you would like being chased lol even if she's ugly
Don't worry, someone will come along one day, you may be alone now, but not forever.
Personal turn ON! I like that in certain Girls! The Girls that skip up to you, grab hold, and won't let go! (Kind of like a cute piranha)
Lol you like us being clingy? I thought guys saw it as "Seeking Attention" or "Being Desperate". I personally would chase the guy a bit, but I've heard that they don't like it. So I don't take the risk. Otherwise I would definetly "Skip up to him, grab hold and not let go" haha. I do feel like grabbing the guy I like and not letting go, but I always thought he wouldn't like it and see it as weird haha
Well... That's the confusing part, Men can be VERY different from one another. Some Men like the "Hard to Get", Others prefer the "If you want it, c'mere!"
Yeah it's definetly confusing be cause you're all so different from one another. We really don't know what each of you would personally like us to do. We don't want to risk making a wrong move on you. But what I usually do is chase a bit, it's too tempting. I've been told that "Playing hard to get" is Just a silly mind game. "If you want something go get it" is what they say too.
Personally, I think that's one thing Dating is very helpful with: finding things out!
Yeah it's like you gain knowledge and learn from it...
We all chase something we love don't we?
Starting from baseball cards as kids to everything we love.
.
.
So if you're really onto something or someone, and would like to spend your entire life with then why not.
I'd be impressed. 💞
Yeah it's true that we chase what we want. But some guys prefer to be the chaser not the chased one. You'd be Impressed, but would you let yourself be catched? Or would you let her keep doing it Just for the fun of it, because you want female attention And because you're not really into her?
Nah, I'm talking about keeping her. ⛳
It depends if he likes her or not. If he doesn't no her, it could possibly be a turn-off.
Yeah that's probably the most obvious reason. Of course he would like it if he liked her...
Only if it's unwanted (ie, already rejected you), otherwise no it's awesome! Even then though I personally never think "desperate". That's totally a woman thing/feeling.
Oh really? We've always thought it was seen as "Desperate" and "Clingy". We always thought or it was told to us that if we ever chase a guy then he will run away even faster from us lol
Nope it's a turn on, I know she's interested so we can progress better
And what if it's a girl that you are disinterested in? What if it's a girl that you don't like?
Yeah of course...
And Why's that?
No, it doesn't make her seem desperate, but it does give you more of a feeling of leverage in the relationship.
Oh okay, so we can chase a little, so that's at least good to know
Yeah that's the disadvantage that we get told about very often. We get told that we'll have no value if we show our Interest in him too much...
No this is an excuse, its the whole "if he really likes you he'll chase you. The chase isn't fun when you like the person only when you're having a laugh.
Isn't it the reality? Wouldn't a guy chase us and pursue us if they liked us? I'm not really talking about when we're having a laugh...
It doesn't bother me
I actually prefer that
Makes it a lot easier for me 😂
Lol I assume you're speaking of the girl that you already like. What if it's a girl that you have no Interest in and dislike? You wouldn't mind it then too?
I wouldn't mind, but I would let her know i am not interested in anything romantic
I would tell her as soon as possible.
If she continues, i will just be friendly and remind her how lovely it is that she is my FRIEND and how i view her as a SISTER 😂
Lol what a move...😂😂 Basically Just put her in THE ZONE hahaha what a dick move
Tbh, I can't be really good friends with a girl without falling in love
So i almost never put women in the zone.
I only did that twice, with my friends sister and awkwardly enough one of my cousins (Not genetically related)
Yeah it happens, that's where the saying "Guys and girls can't JUST be friends" comes in. One or the other usually catches feelings for the other...
I tend to lose interest if l know I can get someone without having to do anything.
Nothing worth having can be obtained without effort.
So it's different for you? Most of the guys here have said that they like it if a woman chases them. But yeah you're answer is what we've mostly been told by society. We've been told we come across as "Desperate" and "Clingy" if we chase a guy and that they guy likes doing the chasing instead...
*the
And that's okay too, there's nothing wrong with that. We all have our own opinions 😊
No it's definitely nice! I hate this social norm that it's the guys job go approach girls and not vise versa
Apparently we've been told as girls not to "Go after" or chase you guys. The whole reason is seen as us coming across as "Desperate" and that you're our only hope. We would chase you but then we all feel like you'll avoid us and run away even faster from us lol... But the whole point was that girls aren't supposed to do the "Pursuing", we were told that the guys Job. But as I see there's a lot of guys that like being chased and not the chaser here lol
Yes definitely! I would really like it
You would like doing the chasing or be the one chased? Which one?
I would definitely like to be "chased", but a nice mix would be optimal.
I see what you mean
What about you?
I would like to be chased too...😊
That would rather be a major turn on. I have never had it happened (but wish it would).
I think you only believe it's a turn on because you've never had that happen to you lol
I'd like it and like her more for taking the initiative.
Hmm... that's Interesting. Most of the guys I've seen see us as desperate if we chase after them. at least that's what we've always been brought up to believe. We've always been told that guys like doing the chasing...
Then do you see the guys as desperate if they pursue the woman? It is the same thing really. I think it is fine for either person to initiate.
Of course not. We can't see guys as "Desperate" for chasing or pursuing, cause he's a guy. It's different for guys. It would never be a turn off for a guy to chase because that's the Job of a guy in the first place. Isn't it a tradition for guys to pursue and chase and for women to stay right where they are? Though girls can still initiate, there's nothing wrong in that. Chasing is different though.
if a girl that i like does that then i'd be glad but if i don't like the girl it would be uncomfortable
So a turn off then?
Lol so YOU'LL be the desperate one? 😂
Pfft, no. Some of us like to be chased after. But if a guy gives a firm, "no, not interested" then it is that
There's some girls that secretly do the chasing and some of them upfrontly chase. The guy is aware that she's chasing him and he isn't Interested or doesn't want to be chased. Just like what happened to me, I was after him because I wanted him so bad. In the end I got blocked by him lol but I was stupid at the time haha he upfrontly told me that I'm chasing him, like he wanted to let me know that he's aware of my chasing. Also said I seek attention and that I stalked him on FB at one point too haha didn't know where he got these Ideas from..
It does leave a question about desperation in mind. and also raises the question how many she has chased before me. so not necessarily rely a tun off but can raise questions.
Ohh okay...
If she chases a little, that's OK. If she chases a lot and chases hard, it's a turn off.
I don't think she would have the time to be chasing so much lol but yeah I guess some kind of would overdo it...
No, it's the opposite. I haaate it when women never initiate.
Oh is that so? We were always told that guys see it as being "Desperate" and "Clingy", and that it is seen as unattractive. The real reason why women don't Intitiate is because we don't want to be seen as if we really want the guy so much. We try to hide away the fact that we really want him badly lol and then we Instead try to stay away from him a little bit so that he will come closer to us. If you give her a little bit of a hint or a signal that you're Interested, she would probably not be so afraid to chase you. Though we were taught that it's a guys Job to chase and pursue women, and not the other way round...
Or probably a guy that would be annoyed with her and not Interested in her 😂😂
Not a turn off - depending on how she goes about it.
Ohh okay...
Yeah I guess being a stalker online and in person would scare the guy away, I knew that someone here would eventually mention that...😂😂
it's same as guy chasing girl. not always result positive.
So it's a turn off then?
It's only a turn off if the guy is ugly or we're not Interested lol
I think it's cute, but I'd also have to feel mutual and find her attractive as well
Yeah that's obvious lol If you like her already then you would like her chasing too.
then yes I would
No, it's a turn on.
Much better than the stupidity that is "playing hard to get".
I honestly hate mind games too, though I thought guys found it attractive when girls seemed less Interested. Though yeah what's real and upfront is way better than what's fake, I agree with you.
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