Okay, so I’ve got this innocent persona that I can’t shake. Not saying it is a bad thing, but it’s honestly feeling like it isn’t me anymore
. I guess I should back up a little and say how I got this persona. My grandma and great grandma raised me, I went to church every Sunday since I was 3 months old, I couldn’t cuss, I had to dress conservative, I wasn’t allowed to dye my hair and I couldn’t have anything other than my ear lobes pierced, and I didn’t drink or party and I never spoke my mind. After they got put into the nursing home, things changed with me and I wanted to break that mold.
I’m 21, I cuss (not like a sailor though), I’m always changing my hair color (currently waiting for my pink dye to process as I write this 😂), I went and got 3 piercings in one day (my nose, and Shen Men in both ears), I’ve started dressing less conservative (not slutty just not as covered up) , and I’ve started speaking my mind. The only thing i don’t do is sleep around.
But people still see me as this cute little innocent girl. And I just feel like it isn’t me anymore. I want to be this bad ass woman, but I am so self conscious. When people look at me they think “oh look how cute the innocent little girl is” and I even asked my best friend and she said just by looking at me you can tell that I’m inexperienced. I hate giving off this little miss innocent virgin vibe.
Not saying I want to go and sleep around but I don’t want that to be the first thing people think when they see me. I’d like people to look at me and think “damn she’s a bad ass”
. I guess I should back up a little and say how I got this persona. My grandma and great grandma raised me, I went to church every Sunday since I was 3 months old, I couldn’t cuss, I had to dress conservative, I wasn’t allowed to dye my hair and I couldn’t have anything other than my ear lobes pierced, and I didn’t drink or party and I never spoke my mind. After they got put into the nursing home, things changed with me and I wanted to break that mold.
I’m 21, I cuss (not like a sailor though), I’m always changing my hair color (currently waiting for my pink dye to process as I write this 😂), I went and got 3 piercings in one day (my nose, and Shen Men in both ears), I’ve started dressing less conservative (not slutty just not as covered up) , and I’ve started speaking my mind. The only thing i don’t do is sleep around.
But people still see me as this cute little innocent girl. And I just feel like it isn’t me anymore. I want to be this bad ass woman, but I am so self conscious. When people look at me they think “oh look how cute the innocent little girl is” and I even asked my best friend and she said just by looking at me you can tell that I’m inexperienced. I hate giving off this little miss innocent virgin vibe.
Not saying I want to go and sleep around but I don’t want that to be the first thing people think when they see me. I’d like people to look at me and think “damn she’s a bad ass”
Updates
+1 y
Okay for the record, i am not wanting to give up my virginity. I’ve got not only a promise to myself, but to my faith to not lose it till marriage. That is not the goal here. I just want to shake the good girl image because that isn’t me anymore.. I am just wanting to change my persona and the vibe I give off. Little miss innocent isn’t me anymore. I just want to be looked at as a normal 21 year old and not a child.
Updates
+1 y
It’s hard to fake being the “good girl” when that isn’t who you are anymore. But even though I try to just be me, I can’t get anyone else to see that I am not the same girl I was
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