Feel guilty about womanizing?

[Anonymous]

Hi,

First off, I'm a complete womaniser. And I've got this girl wrapped round my little finger. I've not done anything yet, but I know all I need to do is set up the event, and then act like a dashing prince from her fairy tale fantasy.

She thinks I am so trustworthy, sweet and lovely. I'm nothing like this. I'm so manipulative, I just say what I know a girl wants to hear to make them fall for me.

For the first time in my life I feel guilty about this. She told me about her last guy who put her in hospital after she confronted him. She gave everything up just to get away. And walked right into me.

Damn. What do I do?

Updates

+1 y

UPDATE: After re-reading this, no-one is going to give me advice.


I must be going soft in my old age, she was ripe for picking as well, there was so much I could have said to her to manipulate her with.


So I'm just going to ignore this girl instead. If she rings, or texts, or emails, I will just delete.


Thanks for reading at least.

[olaola]

This may sound like a wired question but how can we defend ourselves from people like you, maybe what you do is focus at our ideas thoughts and feelings and give us what we want making us forget about your "needs" meaning your thoughts and feelings without knowing that you are already taking what you need.

what I'm trying to day is that maybe if we focus more at your feelings we may save from people like you?

or maybe knowing that even this mean behavior from you part is deep a defensive mechanism,by showing to you our innocence and sincerity always considering your feeling, you won't hurt us.

please think this through and give me an answer if you can. Thanks

[Asker]

I'm not sure if you can to be honest. The reason we are successful is we tell you exactly what you want to hear based on your fears and your hopes. We usually have well scripted responses to common questions (so it's unlikely you could catch out our lies, they are too ingrained). If it's too good to be true, it usually is.

[arsenal25]

well I mean you lied to her etc. and she was in a bad relationship before and now trusts you. instead of ignoring her, tell her something basically give her closure and end things so she isn't bitter and just goes crazy with analyzing what the helll she did wrong, we girls do that. Ignoring is easy to do, but you are a grown up handle the situation the right way. Make up something, w/e or tell the truth tell her you thought you were going to just have something casual but now realize she is too sweet bla bla bla something along the lines

[Asker]

You're was by far the best answer. Because, I'm far better at lying that being honest. To the point where people think I am insincere when being honest. I suppose I actually fell for this girl, which is why I'm finding it so difficult now. If I told her the truth, she just wouldn't believe it. So I'll make something up about my mother being ill (she's passed away), and I just don't feel like anyone right now, and I hope she understands why I say goodbye. Yes, that is it. Thank you.

[arsenal25]

well if you fell for her as well, why not give it a chance? and don't use her, just date. Go on dates and be yourself, may be this will turn out to be a good thing?

[Asker]

I've considered this option. But I will only cheat on her. I can't help it. And she is the first person I have ever given a damn about. Kind of ironic really. First time I've been beaten by my feelings. I guess I really must like her to help her avoid someone like me.

[arsenal25]

yea you must, or you are just terrified to be the one hurt in the end or have more feelings. I dump guys like you do b.c. I feel like I'll def. screw them over. complicated feelings, but I think sometimes you just need to go with the flow instead of making assumptions of what you will do, who knows how this will turn out to be, you are only cheating yourself of something potentially turning great, by automatically saying it will not work out...defense mechanism from falling in love?

[Asker]

Yes, I'm terrified a being hurt. It's why I never let a woman close. It's why I weave such a web of lies and deceit. Maybe she is the one. I'll try a date with her, and try and be myself. If that doesn't work out for me, I'll let her know the truth at the end of the night. Thanks for the great advice. I might be a womaniser, but I'm still human. Ta.

[arsenal25]

yea I get you, sometimes just have to put your guard down, I don't know when I'll learn to do that myself lol but I think honesty is best policy may be she will understand you who knows if you decide you don't want to date her and let her know the truth as to why. but good luckkk

[MissRee84]

Wow this has just happened to me. We dated for about 4 weeks and he started backing off, so I started clinging and then he ended it. He has just told me after 4 weeks of not seeing eachother and 3 weeks of not hearing from him that he was really sorry and the fact is he is a womaniser and is not proud of this. He also said that he will just use me and has suddenly got a conscious and wants to change. He is still not interested in pursuing anything with me but playing me made him realise he didn't want to do this to anyone anymore.

[Anonymous]

You should probably just cut off your own d*** before a loren bobbit sort of girl that you manipulated does it first.

[Asker]

Ha ha ha. That made me laugh. Thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

hahaha

[lovelylife]

I don't think you should ignore her. Be honest with her just like you did on here, she won't like it but she will understand your change in behavior, and in the end will be grateful for it.

[Asker]

I can't do honesty. I just can't. I come across as utterly insincere. People believe my lies and deceit more. So I am going to do what Aresnal 25 advised. Thanks for the offer of advice though.

[Fourfivesix7]

Good for you dude. Women control access to sex. Very few men are capable of being serial womanizers. It takes like superhuman ability to do what you’re doing. Don’t sweat it. You earned it. Let them make their own bad decisions. It’s their racket, not ours. You broke the glass ceiling 😎

[Anonymous]

Don't ignore her and what not, tell her that you've been lying to her. She won't like it but won't turn out as bad as it would if you ignore her or continue to do it.

[Asker]

I've decided to lie to her and end it, its best for everyone involved. :)

[Anonymous]

you're 36 to 45? your WAY too damn old to be acting this way! I can see if you were in your teens to early 20's but damn. grow up :)

[ThatGuy44]

This seems like a movie script. Jude Law stars.

[Asker]

That's so helpful.

[girlaskin]

your a pig

[Asker]

I never claimed to be a good person. I find it hard to let anyone close, and people seem to believe my lies than my genuine feelings, just for your information. That this girl managed to get close enough for me to even consider her actual feelings is a testament to her. But thanks for the help, eh!

[girlaskin]

Just saw your age range. Your getting old. Your gonna eventually want someone to love and care for. Let your guard down...you'll be suprised to see how happy you might be. I was kinda sorta kidding about the pig comment. You obviously aren't that much of a pig if your seeking help through here. Clearly you care enough to get others input.

[Asker]

Thanks. I've never felt like this. It's all new to me.