How do you stay classy in an argument?

Question

Mr_Potatoman · Accepted Answer

1) Don't get emotional.
2) Talk about facts and have some proof they are true.
3) Don't raise your voice.
4) Don't be too expressive with your hands because it can be seen as being angry and that's not classy.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Accepted Answer

Attack the idea, not the person. And be willing to consider their arguments. Your priority should be to seek the truth, not to "destroy your adversary"

el_Te_de_la_Rosa · Answer

I can't confirm that these techniques can be applied to all "arguments", and they would appear as "classy" as you wish.

From my experiences, based on my personality.
I tend to not speak much, while evaluating the potential outcomes if I start to exchange my words with the person I'm "arguing" with.
What I have learn so far...
- Don't walk away suddenly, it would trigger the person further. You'll never know how furious somebody could be.
- Keep your face neutral. A frown creates more intense. You'll appear angry even if you're not, and the other will take it seriously and keep their guard up.
- Raising the voice enrages yourself, as well as that person too. It's exhausting and wastes our energy - we can't think wisely. Once you lose your temper, you lose everything.

Now, if they attack you, mostly, they would like to see you lose it. Don't fall into the trap.
When you get offensive and want to fight back, you can try these>>>
- Take a long deep breath.
- Stand or sit firmly, keep your shoulders low.
- Show your hands by holding them together in front of you or on your lap.
- Beware of the space between you and them. Too close, it would look like you're intimidating them.
- Let them speak as they want. Listen carefully, separate facts from personal attack. People won't listen to others anyways when they're mad.
- Keep your face straight and serious. You can focus on their chin or forehead, sometimes switching to the ground. Looking into the eyes is scary.
- Nod when you agree with them. You can also say "okay". Show them that you're actually paying attention to them.
- Think along their words. If it's not true, prove them with facts.
- Speak with a calm tone, slow and steady. If you get upset, take a deep breath.
- If what they tell you is true, and it's your mistake, apologize and seek solution with them.
- You can ask questions back for more information if you're not sure you get it correctly. "Excuse me, what do you mean by that?" "Please explain"
- Try to find "win/win" alternatives. "What do you think WE can do next?"

*Note: Be careful of smiling. Some people would think you mock them and it makes the situation worse.

Stoicism is also interesting. In some case, it works. Some, might not. Take time to learn more.

Lastly. Practice.
Take care

jadspop · Answer

Sticking to facts, refraining from using vulgar language, and too keep va calm mind. Don't attack the character of the other person or past mistakes. Stay focused on what the actual argument is.

Try not to point out how they always make this mistake but objectively point out y it is I mistake.

And know how receptive the person is. If they aren't doing any of what I just said then they probably don't care what the point is. They just want to be right and for you to be wrong. If it hits that point then walk away. Nothing you say or do will get to them till they calm down

Makeushiver · Answer

Try to avoid cl aiming the intent of someone. If you get pissed off at someone and tell them they are an asshole they can simply respond that they were "just kidding" or "you can't take a joke" essentially denying the truth, If you respond with, "when you say shit like that it upsets me" or "I feel put down", they can't argue that away. They can't tell you that you don't feel a certain way, but they can argue with any characterization of them. Stay away from passive aggressive behavior. If your boss pisses you off, don't make everything you do for him seem like a chore or that you're doing him/her a favor, tell him exactly how you feel either at the time or when you feel composed and then drop it.

sagevalentineee · Answer

I would say be humble, and it's okay to be emotional.

It's alright to cry and be vulnerable if it's an emotional subject, but stay away from emotional lashes. I've heard a couple arguing about mortgages and the woman said something about going and dying because everything is useless... that sort really stay away from.

Don't barb the other person by bringing up past wrongs or irrelevant things.

Don't raise your voice or become physical. If you need a way to expresses yourself, I would say it's better to cry than the above, becoming physical.

Don't avoid your own responsibility if you have made a mistake. It's okay to admit it.

Be a little humble. If you're talking about something you don't know much about, it's okay to admit it and listen for once. It's much better to admit you don't know rather than have half information, especially in argument.

rjroy3 · Answer

1. Manage your emotions.

2. Have boundaries for yourself and stick to them.

By managing your emotions it's easier to stay on point rather than dissolving into verbal shit flinging. And by setting clear boundaries, you're aware of things you absolutely won't do/say regardless of how you feel.

Like a boundary for me is calling a girl a bitch. Just won't do it and I've been in some heated arguments, never went there. Just one of my boundaries. If I never set that boundary then all it would take is getting me mad enough.

Decide for yourself what matters to you now. I emphasize this because you're very likely not going to end up being calm enough in some fights so you need something for when that breaks down.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Good question, Sweetener. There's lots of good advice here.  I'll only add

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

In any argument remember the following.

1. Start slowly clamly like donot hop on the opposition
2. have proofs to back up you'd arguments.
3. remember you are arguing or discussing with thd views of opponent and not opponent himself this will keep you grounded and keep you classy.
4. always highlight your points don't expect that everyone to understand your point of view but you have to keep it of he is worthy opponent he will at least think over the possibility of it and maybe accept it if he has the ability to but your duty is to just highlight things and not making him to understand bc people choose what they want to believe in.
5. donot do personal attacks stock only to the discussion points.
6. Argue or debate to learn and not to compete with the opponent this will make you aware of what purpose are you arguing for and how it will result in victory

ButtaGrey · Answer

Don’t argue... Few women know how to be a lady, just as few men know what it means to be a gentleman. Respectfully disagreeing doesn’t mean you have to allow someone to bait
you into out of your character and demeanor to entertain their foolishness. Arguing takes two.

joe_schmidt · Answer

1. Don't use derogatory language.
2. Don't call the other person names at all
3. Don't swear
4. Don't raise your voice
5. Allow them the opportunity to speak uninterrupted
6. Try to see their point of view
7. Don't get defensive
8. Be open minded that you may be in the wrong
9. Don't use examples of anything that's not relevant to the argument
10. Always remain respectful, even when it's almost impossible.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

A guy told me a few days ago that when you get angry at stupid you might become stupid - I cope by turning to God because the bible says God will expose every lie people speak about you and deliver you from every problem people give you if you refuse to fight your own battles beyond honestly rebuking a friend and trying to maintain clear boundaries - it also says God fights for you while you rest and sit still

GraveDoll · Answer

decide who im engaging with and i have a very keen eye on who to waste my time with.

so i just dont argue with people who can't stay off the horse of whataboutism and such.

So to keep my own peace and class i just... don't.

I fix my lip gloss and walk.

jgokgotit · Answer

With most people I am the clearheaded one. I just wait for them to finish and exhaust themselves before I say what I need to. However, in both my relationships with my exes, they were the levelheaded ones. Felt nice to have women who could keep me centered because I kept so many other people centered.

Flaquita · Answer

Dont show that they're annoying you, be smart about ehat you say dont yell. Be calm and say some shit that wil ltruly get to them that eill lesve them speechless then walk away eith a smile on yo ur face. Also try to get the last word even if they are still talking just say "bye" and walk away with a smile

Ellie-V · Answer

I don’t really think there’s such thing as being classy in that situation.
But I feel it’s always best to just consume the words without giving a reaction. Silence is best when you’re right. Listen and walk away. If you know that you’re not in the wrong, your silence will force them to adjust themselves. Yes they will be angry and resistant but they eventually get the point.

KaylaJoy · Answer

Stay calm, keep your arguements logica and reasonable without relying too heavily on emotion, keep your voice even, don’t get angry, maintain poised and relaxed posture, and use more formal language- don’t use curse words, slang, or grammatically poor words/sentences.

Eggplant29 · Answer

Listen to their point of view without interrupting.
Use good manners.
Use their name.
Not assume you know all their opinions.
Ask questions.
*Don't corner them with narrow questioning.
Allow them time to answer.
Allow yourself to quote them to back up your own argument.
There's the phrase 'give them enough rope to hang themselves'.
Be gracious.
Don't gloat if you win.

sheikalana · Answer

I think the best way to stay classy in an argument is to let the other person say whatever they want to say without interrupting them even if it takes 15 minutes and then we it's your turn keep your voice low. This will most likely calm the other person down. Also do not defend yourself by attacking the other person but with facts.

loveslongnails · Answer

* Don't lose your temper; stay calm
* THINK before you speak
* Don't bring up irrelevant, outside information, or past incidents. Stick to the current subject
* Ask a LOT of questions, rather than making statements, and let THEM answer - so give them time to speak

Nxtawm · Answer

Don't swear, stay calm, and use evidence/facts to back up your argument. Be logical and articulate well

GlitterFairy16 · Answer

By giving facts and staying calm, not just throwing personal insults at each other. That how children fight and you'll lose the argument straight away from it. Also be witty

Cherokeehp · Answer

Be open to new information. Sometimes people argue, and at some point in the argument they realize that they’re wrong, but they refuse to admit it and they just end up looking stupid.

Sweetie20 · Answer

Stay silent while the other is talking, don't get mad or show ur angry just stay cool during the argument and once when they complete their point start with your opinion and make them speechless. 😉😎

winterfox10 · Answer

Stay on topic, never attack the other person, only their argument.

Anonymous · Answer

90% of having class is staying cool and calm. The other 10% is wits.

My ex hated the fact that she could yell and cuss and insult me and get no emotional reaction whatsoever. Which brings me to a critical piece of advice: if they're yelling and you're calm, and no amount of calm listening improves the situation, you'd be wise to cut whatever ties you have to them right then and there. It never gets any better.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a combination of staying tough but calm. It’s when people don’t fight fair (bring unrelated issues just to try embarrass their opponent) it makes you look weak.

For example you are pissed off at your dad for not letting hang out with your friends and make a comment about him balding. It stings him but it also makes you look very immature.

archiz · Answer

Don't swear Don't speak too fast and loud Control your temper Use logical and solid arguments

madgoat · Answer

Keep calm, don't jump straight to defending yourself, listen carefully to their argument, stick your guns, explain carefully where they are wrong in your estimation. You don't have to accept their perspective and they don't have to accept yours.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

A discussion that turns into an 'argument' can't be classy.

AmourHoney · Answer

Don’t resort to insults and stick with your opinion. Stay calm even if they start getting angry.

BackAgain602 · Answer

Don't resort to low blows. And for me personally, don't throw anything. I can't throw a punch, so I'll look for something that's heavy with a good grip and I'll throw it at whoever I'm arguing with ( mostly my boyfriend). Lost a lot of my favorite wine glasses 😓

JackSmy · Answer

Depends on the debate, and the subject. Here, most just go to NAME-CALLING when they know they have no way to make a REAL point!!

Prof_Don · Answer

Not raise your voice, speak slowly and enunciate your words, keep your body language calm. Try to avoid name calling and excessive cursing.

Clayaya · Answer

Forget remaining classy. Speak your mind. The only time I’d be concerned with class is if it’s in a professional setting or someplace where that’s unacceptable.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

There is a difference between "debate" and "argument". To me "argument" has an edge of anger to it. To stay classy I would suggest not engaging in "arguments", you can simply say "we can agree to disagree".

MissDawn7961 · Answer

you can do this by not arguing with them anymore ! thanks

najekim · Answer

Keep cool, don't raise your voice, listen before speaking.

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

Be clear with your speaking, and keep your logic straight. Don't attack the other person, attack what they say. Don't assume things, and use facts. That's how you win arguments.

Stoner710 · Answer

You don’t raise your voice and you come out the situation with facts and logic

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I put on a tailored tux and introduce myself as Bond. James Bond... then light her smoke with my Dunhill lighter.

Iron_Man · Answer

You have to learn to be cool calm, and collected be nice and smooth

blondfrog · Answer

Haha use sarcasm and wit. Now if someone personally attacks me or threatens me the gloves are off lol.

JamesWilki · Answer

Don't get off track, focus, be a couple steps ahead and if you get mad, that's ok but don't show it never... show it.

Anonymous · Answer

Try to remain calm and don't let your anger take over. Don't get into childish things such as name calling etc.

m0j0xx · Answer

Arguing or fighting is a waist of time. Took me 20 years to figure that out. Now, if you both have that twinkle in your eyes a little rough arguing can be very exciting. Even if you have to buy a new lamp or whatever got in the way

JosyJosy · Answer

Stay calm, use common sense, keep using common sense, don't swear

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

Calmly tell them my side of the issue and try to compromise. You shouldn’t raise your voice

Juxtapose · Answer

You don't lol. The other person is being a dick head and won't meet you halfway, all you can really do is just sarcastically mock them.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I try to avoid arguments and speak calmly because if I don't I'll probably go full on trashy.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

Not get emotional whatsoever and have them prove themselves in a sparring match.

admles · Answer

Speak calmly, clearly and concisely Don't attack the person.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

I'm sorry, I am not qualified to answer this question

TheLittleInnocent · Answer

I use big boy words that I learnt from a dragon... lol

SwordShield · Answer

Stay classy by not getting emotional and making witty comebacks.

2Pink · Answer

Stop drop and roll or run and hide. But work well in a crisis

dirty78 · Answer

I guess it depends on the type of argument we are having

pervertedjester · Answer

Watch a show from the 80s called "Dallas" and then do the opposite of them.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't lose control, while asking suggestive and rhetorical questions. Never get on ad hominem level and remain by the topic.

Jessie91331 · Answer

Don't yell or cuss. Just smile, kick him in the nuts, break his nose, then walk away. A lady never swears or yells.

IAMNathanael · Answer

Never resort to name calling! That's my rule.

ElloDiazdidit · Answer

make sure you be the bigger person in the picture with all your facts straight.

How do you stay classy in an argument?

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