What’s the best way to handle arguments without hurting each other?

[carolyn_wood]

[D_Bone_Steak]

Stay away from name calling... call out gaslighting and bullshit. I've found that being reasonable, and I know I'm going to sound sexist now... but women need more time to be reasonable... because they're retarded. Patience is required. I mean they're retarded, you have to be patient with retards.

Them trying to gaslight is a big one. 3rd party will stop them in their tracks if it gets that bad. Someone not involved will be like "hold up" on the absolute bullshit. They only do it because they think they're getting away with it. They stop when a 3rd party is also telling them why they're retarded.

Last but not least... hold your arms open and allow them to just accept defeat and come get a hug. Let them learn and move on without rubbing it in and making them regret it. The main reason they're so hard-headed is probably losing battles with their mother... and then mother probably still has a story about it that she likes to bring up and rub into her wounds. Allow her to be wrong and teach her that it's okay to be wrong... unlike her retarded mother did to her.

That's my knowledge on the subject and I've had more relationships and a longer long term relationship than most of these fucking losers. That's not for no fucking reason.

I'm just talking shit now... I don't know... smoke weed or something.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I read down and would like to add... stay away from name calling. That's got to be the dumbest shit ever to do. I know I called women retards here but that was just a joke... I wouldn't say something like that in a real argument.

[Finchie40]

Don’t yell or bash each other , speak calmly and use the word I instead of you , When you use the word you , you are basically pointing fingers at them before pointing fingers at yourself first. Basically implying they are the problem and you aren’t the problem. When some is being blamed for something the first thing they do is defend themselves and redirect it back to you , they aren’t listening to a word you say if you keep saying You did this and you did that , it’s better to say I am not happy, I am upset about this , I don’t know what the problem is or what is going on between us , etc. It actually works , Cuz I use to say you all the time lol

[D_Bone_Steak]

Sound advice. Replacing "you" with "I" statements makes it a whole lot less accusatory sounding. ... and when you're in the right, it will bring them down a lot harder.

You might destroy the very hill they decided to die on with that tactic. Once that's done... they're fighting for nothing or for something that is entirely pointless and transparently selfish and obvious.

[Finchie40]

Yea it pretty much eliminates the blame game , by you just listening to them instead of immediately defending yourself and turning it back around on them. Basically implying that you are trying to understand what they are upset about instead of saying well you did this and you did that basically planning your attack, instead of just hearing them out. When most people argue or looking to start a fight , most people will immediately prepare to defend themselves instead of actually hearing what the yeller is trying to say to them , whether the yeller is right or wrong, about what they are yelling about , it’s best to just listen to them and try to understand what they are upset about. Basically by implying that you are trying to understand what they are upset about , you can still use the word you , but don’t use it to defend yourself. Basically I am trying to understand what you are upset about , I’m sorry I upset you. What can I do to fix this? My intentions aren’t to hurt you in anyway , so please explain what I did was wrong so I can work on not doing it again. I’m sorry I hurt you and I don’t want to hurt you again. This is good to use with girls’ LOL

[Nikki1989]

By remembering, the goal is to resolve the issue, and not to win an argument.

[mandyfire98]

No name calling. That's truly when it is beyond just an argument.

[Summeroflove]

Walk away until you calm down enough for both people to have a reasonable conversation.

[Garud]

Emotional control is very important, letting go of the attachment to trying to win the argument and being honest and truthful will help a lot, There is no need to give very nuanced explanations and facts, just say what you think with all your common sense,

Being careful works for me, I speak less, get to the point, listen carefully and then don't get angry because my mind is already engaged in being careful or mindful

[LonelyHsoul]

Be civil, talk about the issues, have a object or something so who ever is holding it is the person who is allowed to talk and can't say anything till that person has finished then pass it to them.

Don't talk over each other, work as a team and not as enemies.

[McLlovin]

Accept defeat. Winning an argument isn’t a win if you lose the person. However, this depends on the situation. Isn’t something they need to accept or is the argument stupid

[CallmeTheKnight]

Don’t argue. Have a conversation, listen, understand, express yourself without being offensive and rude, and learn.
It’s only hard to do that if you’re immature

[Miristheiss]

Discuss with respect. Do not yell and name call.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Name-calling is the first sign of who's actually wrong.

[bowenw]

Stick to facts and never resort to name calling, blame, or insults.

[genericname85]

fight the argument, not the person you're arguing with.

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

I'm gonna blow your mind with two words

Active Listening

[KrakenAttackin]

Five words women need to learn: "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong".

[jahaims]

Learn how to communicate

[In_Trance]

don't bother arguing