How do you know if a woman secretly has feelings for her guy friend?

[Anonymous]

How do you know if a platonic friend has secretly has feelings for her male friend? What are somethings she will do differently or what are somethings she will do.

[Edentina]

There are no set rules or particular ways to know because everything boils down to the kind of person the lady is, in terms of her personality, the person she secretly likes, is he someone she just met, a mutual or family friend or even a colleague in the office/boss, how long they have known each other and the potentiality that the guy will notice and reciprocate or reject.

[Asker]

Friends/coworkers know each other 5 years haven't last seen her consistently in 3 before this year and a half of nine stop being around her. But I also know her mother and sister surprisingly enough.

[Edentina]

@Asker that means you both know each other pretty well. May i ask if you have noticed any changes whatsoever in her attitude or demeanour around you?

[Asker]

Yes more playful touchy loved to be hugged by me now. Or when she's close to me she rubs up against me. When we are talking 1 on 1 she basically kissing close to the point I wrap my arm around her. She recently turned when I was holding her and I end up holding her from behind as we were talking.

she's actually trying to listen more and offer advice. She's starting to open up more and tell me when something is wrong or if something is going on. I can tell she's uncomfortable doing it. But we actually talk more and she responds to my text a little quicker

[Edentina]

@Asker, she obviously has feelings for you. The question is, do you like her in return and are you willing to reciprocate? Reciprocating might be the only thing that will allow her be more open about how she feels.

[Asker]

How do I do that? I thought that's what I been doing. But how can I show her back?

[Edentina]

@Asker she has actually been the one doing all the showing, that is the touching and wanting to be hugged. Reciprocate by taking the initiative. Don't always wait for her to be the first to touch you or wrap her arms around or you waiting for her to turn before you holding her from behind. Do it when she least expects, that is when she hasn't initiated it first. Don't know if you get what i mean. In addition, do it in the open, maybe in front of friends especially other girls. We ladies like to be shown off to be a guy's special lady. Then if you are more confident, be more vocal. Tell her you like her and if she says she does too, you can now ask her out.
I wish you luck 🍀

[Asker]

I have been the one to hug her first. I'm more touchy with her too. But I think the showing in front of friends I'm going to do better on it. She called me out for that several times. I started doing it in front of friends and She seemed content on it. Maybe she does have feelings for me and I'm too stupid to realize it all this time. Which explains a lot of her actions. Some of them cute some are jealous and some sre just out right silly. Told me I smelled good. I look off she runs up and sniffs my neck quickly. Tickling my underarm (who would touch a guy's armpits) wanting to hear from me more and text her. Always finding a reason to touch me no matter what. Wow

[Edentina]

@Asker sure. I'm happy you take initiative sometimes so improve on the others okay? You will be surprised at how open she becomes but pls don't call your self stupid. A lot of us are guilty of that too, not knowing when someone likes us, just because they are not bold enough to say it. Also people prefer to show like/love based on their love launguage. There are five known love launguages: words of affirmation/appreciation, quality time, acts of service, giving gifts and physical touch so it's obvious her own is physical touch. It's much easier for us to know that someone likes us if we speak the same love launguage and much more difficult if we speak different. Keep me updated on how things turn out between you two👍

[Asker]

I sure will. I texted her to see how she's doing. She's not feeling well it at work cause she's tired. But I sure will. So speak her language and continue doing what I'm doing and more. Do it more When she least expect it like when she does things to me at random times?

[Edentina]

@Asker Exactly

[Asker]

Ok I will try that next time I see her

[Asker]

Question. She was hurt about 7 months ago. So now I'm somewhat dealing with it. Her ex (whom I meet and was cool with) contact her every 2 or 3 months. She doesn't reply to him so she says (idc) but it makes her angry and want revenge. She said she gave her all and he didn't match it.

Men aren't sh! t. There are no good men. Blah blah blah. But then she wants to be held and hugged. I somehow make her laugh when I joke.

Do I have to sit through this storm until the storm passes? Is this normal behavior of broken hearted women? It's confusing the crap out of me

[Edentina]

@Asker people behave differently when hurt, especially by a broken relationship and it's obvious she hasn't quite gotten over the break up, especially seeing as her ex still contacts her so it will help if she disconnects all contact, change number if necessary. Even though she doesn't reply, it still makes her angry. As for revenge, i don't know exactly how she intends to do that but it seems she has a long way to go in getting over him. I won't necessarily call it normal behavior seeing as it's already 7 months and she has someone (you) that wants to treat her better. If you really love her, then be willing to wait it out with her, while at the same time reassuring her that you are nothing like her ex. I understand how confusing it might be but at the same time, if it takes longer than necessary, you are the one to make up your mind how much you can take or stand.

[Asker]

Yea I told her that too. Before her behavior changed towards me and before she started listening to me. She told me she was honestly looking for closure. I told her to forgive him and move on because closure you're not going to get and he's just toying with your emotion everytime you talk bad to him or call him out his name. Leave his messages on read.

She plan on doing things that she think will hurt him and I told her it's not. You're feeding into his ego. She has gotten better at not really showing him she's still hurt.

All her relationships have been horrible. I been the only constant and consistent man in her life. That actually had her best interest at heart.

Years later she's just now telling me this. Told me she knew she could do better and deserves better every since I came back into her life. That's when I felt us connect on a deeper level when we had that heart to heart on that same day.

[Edentina]

@Asker that's nice to hear. It shows there is a willingness to move on and with time she will get there. Continue to be there for her and encourage her

[Asker]

Ok I will do that. Also I can be aloof sometimes and don't want to seem clingy. Is this a bad thing? Last time I didn't really speak she had a huge problem with it.

[Edentina]

@Asker it's obvious she has that constant need for attention and reassurance based on her past experiences. There is nothing wrong in taking som time off but do it in a manner that makes it aloof. Don't just take off without speaking, so that she doesn't think you are avoiding her. Tell ber you are going to be a bit busy or you need time for yourself for the day but will miss her and can't wait to talk to her

[ecfresh]

If she is a platonic friend she will not have feelings for a guy

[Asker]

What about a friend. Friend that so happens to be a female

[ecfresh]

If you became friends with a girl, she doesn’t see you as a sexual option.

[Edentina]

@ecfresh it is possible for a platonic female friend to develop feelings for her male friend. If she does well not to act on those feelings which is quite possible for people with self control, they can continue to be platonic friends. Once she acts on them, she gives the guy a chance to either reciprocate or reject. The response is what will change the nature of their relationship from platonic to something else. If he reciprocates, they can start dating and by this they are no longer platonic friends. If he doesn't, and rejects, they might end up parting ways based on how amicable the rejection turned out or how hurt the lady was at being rejected.

[Edentina]

@ecfresh, if a female begins to develop feelings for another friend she considers a platonic friend, the same thing i stated above with a male friend can happen and it is quite possible for a female who is gay to consider a platonic female friend a sexual option. The question is whether the feeling will be reciprocated.