She confuses the living hell out of me, but why and what does she really want?

[Anonymous]

So i've met this girl just about a year ago via online and i liked her a lot from what we've talked and so forth, and we've gotten along very well, and i told her from the first month i've started texting her, since it was the conversation, that my i'm interested in her and i want to get to know her better and she didn't say a whole lot back other than that she likes me aswell and is interested aswell but that she simply doesn't want a relationship and isn't ready for it yet, after talking with her for about 5 months, things kinda went a little farther than i thought it would, you know, there would be quite a bit sexual stuff and we'd hang out 24/7, knowing how corona got out of hand we couldn't ever meet ever since, eventually she made a joke about wanting a girl and not a guy in her relationship, and i took it serious and it turned into her telling me she doesn't like me as her boyfriend or has any attraction, since that had happened, i stopped talking to her for about a month

Then one of my friends came up to me and told me that im a ducking idiot and that she actually does like me but that i fell into a trap and that i should go 'be friends' with her and just keep going till it leads somewhere naturally and he told me i should try a few different stuff such as letting her always text first, small surprises such as writting letters, actually getting her to video chat with me: after letting her text me first, she's started to be super active and wrote to me literally day and night and it's generally personal life stuff, a whole lot of pictures, constantly asking to do stuff together, and yes she did trust me with her address, she didn't want to video chat with the explanation that she's not wearing makeup and that she feels ugly even though i tell her she's now, yes she's open to meet in real life, recently she said 'i love you' but the day after she brings a guy and says she likes him when she called me to play a game, what are your opinions? what does she want?

[missy52]

Listen to what she said originally. She doesn't want anything more than friendship. She's using you. You're comfortable and a safe space for her but she has no intentions of actually going farther. She does love you but she's not in love with you. Acknowledge the difference.

[Asker]

Can you open this up for me a bit? what do you mean by using me?

[missy52]

Using you as in, you are comfortable to her. She knows she can always text you and have you respond. If she's ever bored, she has you around. She can't possibly be lonely because you're there whenever she wants. She does enough to keep you around but all of this is about her

[Iron_Man]

If you like the girl work it out put all your cards on on the table there’s no sense in playing head games

[Asker]

Last i tried to do this she ended up just making it more confusing, or what else do you mean by putting all cards on the table? i definitely wouldn't want this to be complicated like this though

[Iron_Man]

Be truthful put all your feelings and thoughts on the table don’t hide anything

[Asker]

i've already done that 4-5 months after meeting her, i've told her my intentions and what i feel for her

[Iron_Man]

She’s very young and probably needs to find herself

[Anonymous]

I disagree with your friend. When someone tells you who they are then believe them

[Asker]

It is what i've said initially aswell, however i don't believe it at the same time because of the way she drastically changed when i've changed the way i approach her and the way she's still treating me like a boyfriend when she says im not

[Opinion Owner]

That is an important consideration. If you withdraw and they pursue then they might be interested

[Hangry22]

She wants you romantically

[Asker]

what convinced you to this?

[Hangry22]

It's just what i am sensing from your description. She likes you but she's confused or something. I am not sure if she is just using you for fun. Lots of scenarios. You have to ask her clear

[Avicenna]

If it hasn't happened by now, it never will

[Asker]

Well considering that i've been locked out from the country i live in for about half a year (till i stopped talking with her) and now im back but the whole country is on lockdown, and i didn't get to meet her cause of it, i feel like that makes a big difference though, dont you think?

[Avicenna]

It’s possible, yes, but unlikely

[missy52]

Are you from Oz?

[Asker]

@missy52 from Oz? I don't know what that means, i'm turkish, living in germany

[missy52]

Ah ok. Oz as in Australia

[Avicenna]

Ist sie Türkin, Deutsche oder etwas anderes?

[Asker]

sie ist deutsch