Gain self-confidence, advice?

[Anonymous]

The truth is I am not exactly a pretty girl...Average at best (been told often lol) I am very much invisible to guys. I don't ever get hit on. I work out, take care of myself, and put an effort in getting ready. I do everything I can to look nice and feel good about myself. Including positive self-talk and making a list of my good qualities. Sometimes when I go out, I do all of the above and feel good about myself for a little while. But it ends quickly when I am in the real world and see other people or my reflection unexpectedly. I don't know what more to do to gain confidence and keep my self-confidence. It seems like a never ending struggle I fight with myself...And I am not winning :(

Updates

+1 y

Thanks guys for your help. I will try those things :)

[Anonymous]

Self-esteem is something everyone fights with at some point, so don't feel alone! It sounds like you are doing all the right things as far as focusing on yourself. Keep doing the positive self-talk-the mind is a powerful tool, if you tell yourself enough that you're awesome, you will begin to believe it. Are you involved in any activities or volunteer work that you are passionate about? Sometimes, we focus so much inwardly that we forget about all the great things out in the world. If you are able to do something like Habitat for Humanity, or take a fun dance class, you'll find that you feel good about those things, and will in turn gain confidence.

I had a very low period in my life, and that's when I found painting. I do paintings for my friends and family members, and not only do I have confidence from their praises, but I feel good that I am able to create something.

I know that I don't know you, but my sister is going through something similar, so I will tell you what I tell her: no matter what other people may say about you, absolutely EVERYONE has their own unique qualities that make them beautiful. Don't ever give up on yourself, because you have so much to offer the world and are worthy of happiness!

[Anonymous]

Average is better than ugly.

I think the reason why you get this reaction is because you don't really believe you're pretty. You gotta carry yourself with some type of "sparkle" or inner swag. Even if you're not the prettiest (and how many girls really are?) just ACT LIKE YOU ARE. Stop comparing yourself to other girls. Other girls don't matter, you're what matters. Maybe you should spend a month or 2 getting in touch with your womanhood and inner sexuality. it's hard to explain how to do that, but I feel good when I get pampered, put together a cute outfit and dance to some sexy music. Am I the most beautiful girl out there? No, but I feel good. Don't wait for other people's approval to feel beautiful

[Anonymous]

Play to your strengths. If you don't think of yourself as conventionally pretty, then don't judge yourself so superficially. Remind yourself what is great about yourself. Are you smart? Fit? Kind? Funny? That sort of thing.

I think you're hung up on your looks. That's why you mention things like catching your reflection unexpectedly.

Not everyone is as superficial as that. If you're that hung up on your looks though, no amount of positive talk is going to help you. No one has ever been talked out of being superficial.

[AllDay]

Don't compare yourself to other people you are not them and you will never be them.

When you realize this it will make life a lot easier.

[funnyjoke]

I'm sure your're not invisible to all guys... just accept who you are in this world, and try to enjoy life.