Am I the only girl who can never admit that she's wrong or say sorry. My ego is so strong. Guys, can you bear a girl like that?

[hela1110]

[SteveSmith1985]

Aww, I can't remember why exactly I ended up following you. But I must have really liked something you said of I wouldn't have...

It's been very interesting (in a totally nice way) to be getting a bit of a glimpse of who you are through the questions you post on GAG. That's not some weird snipe... I genuinely have enjoyed forming an ever changing picture of you from your posts.

So, I really like this post. A lot.

So first, to answer your question (and... I'm not just talking about dudes in their mid 30's here).

Guys do not like it when a girl can't admit that she's wrong; or can't/won't say she's sorry; and who has a "strong ego" along the same lines.

I believe this isn't the first time I've had to tell you a harsh honest truth I would usually keep to myself... except I figure if somebody ASKS they want a real answer.

So, the truth is... that this is something that no guy can bear. No PERSON can bear... I mean how do YOU feel about people who can't admit they're wrong or apologize? Exactly.

The truth is those are fatal flaws for 100% of relationships 100% of the time. No relationship can survive these things. If a guy DOES put up with this... you have one super-unhealthy relationship. Super unhealthy. But frankly 99% of guys just won't put up with it (I don't care WHAT other replies you get to this post... you can take this as true).

But...

Here is why I LOVE this post.

First, I love the straight forward open honesty of the question. It leaves you vulnerable in a way that gives an outsider the best glimpse yet into your personality.
Second, It's like watching somebody mature mentally before my eyes.

So... I don't know if you are aware of this (you likely are... but I hope you weren't)... but...

The nature of this post contradicts its content in a a way that's... shit... it's beautiful.

So... you say basically that you are super immature in terms of admitting mistakes. That IS what you are describing. That's how little girl acts. It's a little kid mentality.

BUT... the fact that you ACKNOWLEDGE that you have these flaws... is DOING exactly what you are telling everyone you can't do.

A person who's ego cannot allow them to admit when they are wrong and who cannot say they're sorry COULD NOT HAVE MADE THIS POST.

It is actually impossible. This post is you openly ADMITTING THAT YOU ARE WRONG by acknowledging that you are a certain way, and implying that the way you are is wrong (which this aspect of you is. Unequivocally). But you are IN THE PROCESS of changing that. Nobody could post this without a significant degree of self reflection and essentially, admitting that you aren't right. This is a bit of an "I'm sorry for being this way"...

You are growing up. You will not have this immature "ego" much longer. You are already shedding it. You are going to be just fine. Because I think that these things you wrote about won't be true about you anymore in the very near future. They are already less true than you realize. Keep challenging that ego. It'll open up the world of real relationships for you.

This is such a great post. I hope you're not offended because I like you (jeez just as a friend, relax). But... you did ask 🙂

[innerman]

I thought y’all girls are like that 😧

[Biancam13]

I’m a girl obvs , but I think maybe you should let your guard down a bit. We all have this thing called ego which sometimes prevents us from wanting to admit we are wrong.

But what we have to realise is, that being “right” or having the upper hand doesn’t mean ‘winning.’ In fact you win by admitting you’re wrong when you’re actually in the wrong, because then everyone lets their guard down and you can sort things out with whenever you wronged.

MANY people have this problem so don’t worry, but admitting you’re wrong gets easier and easier after the first time you do it. As long as you’re actually in the wrong lol.

[Biancam13]

*whoever not whenever

[Anonymous]

That is a very bad trait in any relation, may it be professional, social or romantic. My mother is for example like that, and I hate it.
You are still young so you have a fair chance of changing it for the better. Start trying to admit when you are wrong, and see that it is not so scary :)

[Not_Average]

That’s just immaturity. Most people your age are the same. You’ll become better with age. I personally couldn’t deal with that in a relationship at this point of my life. I have big goals and aspirations, and dealing with that would hinder what I’m trying to do given that it causes so much unnecessary and avoidable drama.

I’m quick to acknowledge mistakes so that I can move on and learn from it. Irrationally standing up for yourself in any given situation hinders your ability to grow as a person. It’s also exhausting and is unpleasant to others. Its also counterintuitive to your goal which is to hide weakness. People with egos are typically emotionally fragile, insecure, and have something to prove. These types are typically easy to control and manipulate given that emotion governs their life decisions. I personally rather skip that process and just go straight into bettering myself.

Guys would be amazed on how much better their relationships would be if they just said- “You know what babe, I was being selfish there and I wasn’t thinking about you. Let me do x, y, and z to help you feel better.” At that point she’ll feel inclined to be kind and understanding towards your situation and want to help you. If you reply with “Babe I’m sick and tired of these complaints and I know I’m doing nothing wrong so back off.” Now you just let them know you don’t value their feelings, you insulted them, and don’t plan to change. She’s going to be bitchy to you, resent you, and won’t feel inclined to understand your side.

Of course you don’t just cave to everything your partner says. That’s cowardliness. You speak your mind, act quick, and admit when you’re wrong. Move on fast and just strive to be a better person. Be thankful that you have someone who’s looking out for your best interest and has the courage to call you out on a flaw you’re working on.

This took me many years to figure out lol.

[NathanDavis]

I'm quite used to people like that, and I can handle it... I have endless oceans of patience and tolerance, it could also be a thing of age, my first two girlfriends were a bit like that, For me it wasn't a big deal because, they would not usually do wrong or cause drama or give me trouble, so there was nothing really to be sorry for, or admit wrongs

I like stronger personalities and all my girlfriends had that, and I have that to, so... I don't really need to hear sorries any way, when there are issues I speak my mind and that's it. Not like I ever hurt, or insult, was demeaning to them.

So maybe that's an interesting question, can you bear with someone that will challenge your ego? or you want someone that backs down.

[ohshee]

Well I've had to say a few times that I was wrong it's not that hard to say especially when it's true so if you have never done anything wrong yes I can handle a strong woman like you but if you always see that you have that never done anything wrong because that's the way you want it then no honesty is honesty truth is truth and when you're wrong you're wrong there's nothing wrong with saying that you're wrong or apologizing it takes a big person to do that

[AdithyaR]

That's a pet peeve for me.
I can accept when I'm wrong and can take a loss with dignity.
That is something I definitely need in a partner.
If I mess up, I will accept to it and apologise. I need a partner who's willing to do the same.

That kind of an attitude can really mess up your life. I hope you can find a way to better yourself.

[FlySwimmer]

It depends, if I have payed out facts that clearly point out to a girl being wrong, or if it is straight forward like math, it could be wrong, but if there is no definite answer or I am not able to prove them 100% wrong it is cute and hot :)

[FlySwimmer]

Also no, you are not the only female like that do :)

[hela1110]

Ik I was sure

[FlySwimmer]

Sure about what?

[hela1110]

I'm not the only one

[FlySwimmer]

Oh yeh, u definitely aren’t lol, but it isn’t necessarily bad unless you deny actual facts :)

[hela1110]

I sometimes do that I'm unbearable

[FlySwimmer]

Eh, they don’t make you unbearable, it can just be annoying lol, normally when people do that I just say that they are right xD, because obviously they don’t want to change their mind and they know they lost :)

[TheBigGuy9]

Hell no. Those are some of the worst type of people in this world. They always seem to be upset too. No compromise on anything. In fact, that kind of attitude sounds like the current administration in the White House.


I’m always right and when I’m wrong, I call you something derogatory and move on to something else.
Make us abide by your rules that you don’t even follow yourself.


It’s disgusting. It’s a turn-off. I pray those people can find God.

[kkirk4442]

No, that would not work. However, the issue may not be that your ego is so strong. it could be that deep down, you lack the self esteem necessary to allow yourself to be seen as wrong about something.

[Biancam13]

^truth

[Dontaaa]

Hell no, I can defiently NOT deal with a girl like that.

I can admit when Im wrong, I expect the person Im with yo be mature enough to do the same.

I'm not willimg to accommodate to someone ego, screw that.

[Dontaaa]

I'm*

to*

willing*

[DJB72]

Challenge accepted...

Seriously, I'm sure you're overstating it. And I'm sure a lot of guys could cope with your quirks

[hela1110]

It's not a challenge it's really me...
I wanna be so valuable n I need so much attention in a way that I can't say sorry or feel wrong

[DJB72]

I think you're underestimating how valuable you are.

Don't get me wrong, saying sorry and apologising in a genuine manner is like drinking bile sometimes, but you learn as you get older that it's a skill that's essential for survival.

The other big one that's linked to it is forgiveness. If you can't apologise or "feel" wrong then you're setting yourself up for major issues. You'll eventually be blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong because you can't ask for help as it means admitting you were wrong, and you can't forgive yourself for getting it wrong.

It's a vicious cycle, and I truly believe you're better than that.

[MrNameless]

You're definitely not.

But its not a good mentality to have. Usually this comes from a dysfunctional family or just cultural values that aren't the norm to admit you are wrong.

But really, you should. Helps your professional and personal relationships considerably. Otherwise, you're gonna be in some trouble and lose people and get pissed off coworkers and managers

[lolman95]

When people advise you to become a stronger person, that's not what they mean...
As for question, guys can bear a person with ego problems, most of us do it on daily basis in jobs or social situations. It's just that we'll actively choose to not bear it.

[FilmGuy93]

You are absolutely not the only girl like that, but I'm afraid that that kind of thing is a huge turn off for me. As soon as I identify that trait in women I'm talking to, I run for the hills.

[Anonymous]

No. Not only would I not bear a girl like that, there's literally no point anyway. Because even if any guy DID put up with bullshit of that magnitude, you would notice it and IMMEDIATELY lose what little respect you had for that guy to begin with. He'd then lose any an all sexual attractiveness in your eyes and well, it's pretty clear where things go from there.

So yeah--no. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

it sounds like it would be exhausting to be in a relationship with you. When i was younger i might have acted in a similar manner but as i matured i realized that looking like I was right is not as important as being right is. I want to make decisions based on correct facts and if i am wrong i can't make the correct choice

[slatyb]

No, that's intolerable and will ruin relationships with pretty much everyone. Get some help for this.

[TurboKid]

Sounds okay to me as long as it's not important who's right or wrong. I am still the boss though. We can both be right and both be wrong but I'm still the boss.

[CaliDad]

What you are describing is probably gaslighting. It's unhealthy and a mental illness. Get that checked out by a professional...

[AlexanderAnttila]

Why would you even ask if guys want to "bear it"? No one should have to bear being with an egotistical, self-absorbed woman. If you're aware of the problem you should work to fix it.

[AmandaYVR]

Out of curiosity do you find this affects your relationships (not just romantic but all kinds), and if so, how?

[Interstate]

There are many females out there with a strong stubborn side. I notice it worst in Women than Men.