Why is she hot and cold with me?

[Anonymous]

I like this girl and I feel like she may like me as well but she acts hot and cold and I’m just wondering why? When we talk she either stares deep into my eyes and listens to me or flirts, gives light touches or laugh at my jokes. But then when she’s cold she ignores me for some reason

[Adam1978]

You can't be her full attention 24/7 learn to live with it. Its not cold to have your focus elsewhere.

[Asker]

I guess you’re right I’m might come across as needy or something. I just think it’s really weird she talks to everyone else but me sometimes it’s like she does it on purpose though

[Adam1978]

It's probably because you are to needy and she can't come and go as she please. Making a simple hi, into a shore.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m not sure. I’ve tried to not come on to strong and give her own space so I’m confused. I don’t stop and talk to her all the time either I sometimes just say hi. She sometimes tries to get my attention though and when she talks to others looks in my direction see if I’m looking. But then she goes cold again if I try talking to her.

[Adam1978]

Stop saying cold, being cold is acting against you. What you are describing is neutral.

[slatyb]

Have you asked her out? Why not?

[Asker]

No not yet. I’m planning to soon I’m just a bit confused with these signals

[slatyb]

Maybe you are getting mixed signals because you are giving mixed signals. By not asking her out you leave her wondering if you are interested. Ask her and then you’ll know whether she’s really interested or just flirting for her own amusement.

[Asker]

Ok thanks I’ll see what she says. It’s just that I’m not confident enough that she likes me and don’t want to make it awkward afterwards but I guess I’ll never know

[slatyb]

Do you know how you become more confident? By asking for dates. Sometimes it's yes, sometimes no. Then you realize that being turned down is no big deal, there's always another.