ok so no fat shaming here but it was photo day at college a couple of days ago and as somebody cute, the class representative expressed her wish to snap a picture of her and me, which i totally declined because i am 10x better looking than her (narcissistic alert here lol). as fate would have it, call it karma, she's my assignment partner for experiment and she wouldn't even let me sit properly taking up most of the bench as if saying "if i am too fat to be in a picture with you, screw you" and i think i deserve it but seriously...
Dont you guys feel reluctant or awkward to pose with less attractive people? I know I being a little shallow here but deal with it.
PS. I never insulted her Just an example. This photo is from Google.
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+1 y
I think I'm uncomfortable with sharing selfies with people. It'd have been fine if someone else took our picture to commoderate the memory.
Are You Reluctant To Be In A Photo With Non Attractive People?
If you wish to go the superficial route, consider that taking photos with others you deem as less attractive as them making you look more attractive (like 'objects in mirror are closer than they appear' sorta thing)
But even when I was younger, in my teens or 20s, I never had an issue taking photos with others, even if I hated their guts. Though for the longest time, I never considered myself attractive in the first place, simply because nobody ever said I was or never seemed to be getting any interest in girls, so figured I was just not that attractive. It wasn't until my earlier / mid 20s that girls I knew would openly say they always thought I was attractive or new girls I met would show some interest.
Now in my 40s and being married, father and all that crap, I feel like I'm back to square one. Not attractive and zero interest from anybody. Not that I'd act upon other's interests in me, but it'd be nice to know if I at least still had something going for me. But in the end, it doesn't really matter and changes nothing.
Point is, your attractiveness doesn't last forever. You could be the hottest shit on the planet, but through time, it vanishes. Once you get old and wrinkly, what do you have left? That's what truly matters.
And those you think are fat or unattractive, consider you might be losing a potentially trustworthy and reliable friend due to superficial reasons. Being worried about what others think about who you hang out with, who you're willing to be photographed with and who you want to be seen with is something that should be dropped the moment you get out of high school, because once you're out in the real world, there's far bigger fish to fry.
I've hung around with others who carried that high school mentality along and it only brings unnecessary drama into your life later on.
You do you. It's your life after all. But I would recommend re-evaluating your priorities. That girl might have other friends who would add to your life. She might know some guys (girls) you might want to hook up with. When the chips are down and everything in your world turns to shit, someone like her or someone who looks beyond appearances might be the person to help bring you out of that mess.
I'll toss anybody to the trash the moment they break my trust or cause unnecessary drama to my life, but those who seem to truly care and are there when you need them, I keep them around. They could look like Sloth from the Goonies, but it's usually those people who've been treated like shit by society who know the pains of life and they're the ones who can help you through some tough times, because they've already been there. All you have to do is be there for them too and just be nice.
It's not like their 'ugly' is going to magically wear off in you or something.
And going back to superficial/selfish, think of it this way... They can better your life as described above, but also you can be the big fish in the little pond by being the hot one in the group. At the same time, others will see you as a nicer and more grounded person by hanging out with those you feel are less attractive, thereby making you more attractive by appearing more open to differences. And at the same time, you could help them gain their own confidence and help them to change their way to show how they can be more attractive, lose weight, carry themselves better, do a makeover thing. Who knows?
Either way you look at it, you gain advantages, where keeping your status quo you described does nothing to improve things in your life.
You can look at all of the above as me saying be nice to others and take a moral high ground, or you can look at it as a socially strategic approch that gives you an advantage. Either way, it's a win win.
If someone cannot even bare to appear in the photo of overweight people then I feel more sorry for them than the overweight ones. Those are some deep rooted psychological issues. And leading such a shallow life is very empty whether you realize it or not.
I can vaguely understand what you mean. I used to be similarly shallow (albeit like 6th grade) and sometimes when interacting with people thoughts would come up like "I wouldn't want to be caught dead with this person". This soon stopped because it is a very childish way of thinking and I'm glad it did because it is repulsive to witness out in the wild.
I'm no psychologist, but I have a few friends who are in class office. A lot of people who run for class office are seeking validation because they are not getting it from other sources (ie. relationships, body image, sexual validation). What you did probably hurt her deeply. I'm sure it will get less raw in the future, but you owe her a SERIOUS apology. No bs- trust me it will benefit you with your project.
To answer your question- yes, I still take photos with less attractive people. I am also an image conscious female. I also often get asked to take photos with less attractive peers. But you know what? I really have stopped caring. They're human beings as well. Even in the worse, most uncomfortable and awkward situations I still try to be kind and say yes. And if anything, being photographed with less attractive people makes you look even better in comparison, which seems like something that would appeal to you.
I don’t pay attention to whether a girl is attractive or not because that was never my concern growing up and now. If I see a beautiful individual then I admire her beauty, give her a compliment if she’s near, and I’m off to minding my business.
I see a picture as a picture. If there’s other people in the picture with me then it’s just that. The only time I refused a picture is with a guy at a wedding who tried to grab on me to take a photo as if we were a couple. Not taking a picture with someone because you view them “unattractive” is a harsh mentality. Be niceeee girl !
"he class representative expressed her wish to snap a picture of her and me, which i totally declined because i am 10x better looking than her (narcissistic alert here lol)." "I know I being a little shallow here but deal with it."
You are being more than "a little shallow." This is nasty and it's you who needs to change. You can't tell others not to "shame" you when you need to check yourself. Don't look for support when you're being a shit. Be better.
@Juxtapose Thanks. I've been away for a bit lately and I'm disgusted with a lot of the shit attitudes I've just read. This is not ok. No wonder so many decent people leave the site. I will not enable or support selfish and narcissistic attitudes.
No, not at all. Seems extremely vain, and yes, narcissistic (which is not cute at all, by the way) to me.
Is this someone you consider your friend? If so, taking pictures are for having memories together, not for being Instagram worthy or whatever superficial crap people think everything needs to be about these days. It's also beyond shallow to treat your friends that way. Who cares what they look like as long as they are good friends? It isn't as if people can control their natural features, anyway.
Also, though you probably don't care about personality, I will say that an ugly personality has a way of rubbing off on the outside and making people ugly from the inside out. Looks don't matter anyway if someone is extremely full of themselves, believes they're better than others over something as meaningless and superficial as looks, and horribly unpleasant to be around. I would change your attitude if I were you.
But no. I've heard the word "aesthetic" thrown around as a trendy buzzword on social media, and I am not familiar with Gen Z social media trends. 🤣 Not sure how that is "ignorant", but okay.
You want to talk about insulting, maybe you should take a look at what you've posted about your so-called "friend", that you think is too ugly to be photographed with you.
I hate taking pictures with anyone, attractive or not! But that's because I consider myself unattractive, not the other way around. From the perspective of someone that's unattractive, it's not exactly a self-esteem boost to take a picture with someone when you're posing with them knowing they look better than you do, or people will notice them over you.
Good example- years ago in college I took a picture with a friend of mine. Very casual picture of us standing side by side in the cafeteria. When I show it to people, guys in particular would instantly assume I'm the "hot girl" in the picture, or ask about her. NOT ME, my friend. And were very disappointed when I told them I was the other girl in the picture- I had one guy assume I looked like a guy (yes, really).
So... yeah. I'm not exactly a fan of pictures, especially with other people, lol. I will take your picture, but not but in said picture.
No, that would be pretty terrible of me. Every person on this planet is attractive in their own way and you can't change my mind. Everyone deserves love on some level, even the most vile humans out there - love solves a lot of problems. Sometimes, taking a pic with someone that others would consider unattractive is all they need to see their worth in life. Basically, don't be an ass.
I know that I have an okey looks or above I don't know my friends said that I'm? Cute and stuff but I'm not sure but to be honest no I don't feel reluctant cuz I know everyone have their own attractive side
No because I'm not shallow or narcissistic... If I take a photo, I care more about the "person" I'm taking a pic with, then how they look... Don't judge or hate on people for their appearance, you may miss out on good people in your life that way, and how would you feel if some day you're more heavy than you are now and someone treats you that way 🤷🏼♀️
You're being way more than "a little" shallow. I don't like taking pictures in general but I'm never going to sit up there and say "oh I think I look better than them so I'm not taking a pic with them". Grow up.
brutal. I gotta say that's pretty shallow. who gives a shit what the person looks like. would you opt out of a photo with a disabled person? or maybe someone who had a dismemberment or a burn victim for your own idealistic social media portrayal of yourself? grow up. not wanting to be in a photo because you think the person good looking enough to stand next to you. please!
I know what you mean, but I've never let it stop me. Ironically I end up being the center of that photo later and the others are just accessories. At least sometimes, many times I never see the actual photo, so don't care.
my friends are my friends and idgaf what anyone thinks. I'll take a picture w/e tf I feel like it with them. If people call my friends ugly they can hit the road.
Well no cause technically it would make you look 10x better being next to an unattractive person, either ways tho I just simply don't care about what goes on around me as long as it doesn't effect me
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