Why do girls always say "you will get someone better than me" rather than excepting the proposal?

[Srij23]

I have always been elusive and perplexed of this peculiar phrase "you will get someone better than me". If that is so why are girls rejecting the guy because a girl is getting more than she asked for. Isn't that the logical way. ?

Updates

+1 y

Why do girls always say "you will someone better than me" rather than accepting the proposal?

[Anonymous]

I was once dating a guy significantly better than me - much smarter, financially better and just a nearly-perfect human. I genuinely felt he deserved better and I ended the relationship because it was taking a toll on my self esteem - not that he was making me feel inadequate but I was constantly pushing myself to keep up and wondering if I will ever be enough. I did not say “you will find someone better” but did feel that deep down. I felt lighter after that relationship ended even though I liked him a lot and missed him.

so it could be real or it could be just being nice in rejecting or the person may have real self esteem issues even outside the relationship and expecting the boyfriend to respond with “you are the best thing that happened to me” - which in my opinion drama.

For someone with dignity and self respect, someone self made, getting much more than they can give may not always resonate well.. it’s not really as logical. :)

[Xoxocutekitty]

Usually she's aware about her current circumstances (crazy school/job, still misses her ex, hooking up with others, dealing with emotional regulation, mentally stressed out etc) that are reasons why she's not the best candidate for him. It's not that she's a bad person, but there are just obstacles she doesn't intend on 'dealing with' because he's not the right guy to make her want to change her lifestyle.

Most Women are happy to 'get out of the way' if they're a mess and have no intention of entertaining someone romantically or sexually.

[19magic]

I don't think I've said that to a guy before but I've always thought it. That I'm not good enough for a guy and he's too good for me. I've been though some shit as a kid and never really worked through it so often feel like I'm broken compared to guys with more of a normal childhood upbringing.

It's a really bad habit but I've been doing it so much that even in the beginning stage of a relationship I blush over the simplist of things, like holding hands, a kiss on a cheek, having a dance together without being gropped, holding the door open for me. All the little things that I don't really expect all that much, especially from the guys I tend to date.

[SomeoneLost222]

It could be because they don’t want to be with you but they still think you deserve someone wonderful. They may think you should be with someone who genuinely loves, and they can’t be that someone for you. Or they just feel inferior and aren’t capable of a healthy relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

A guy said this to me.


I was devastated. Many people told me it’s to soften the blow of the rejection. “It’s not me it’s you” kind of thing.


Another possibility is it’s their self esteem issue. They are not brave enough to accept the love. They think that they are not good enough so in the end it will fail because of their inadequacy.

[Lucina_Rose]

You proposed? 😲

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah…

[Ninaface]

Maybe she's being honest. I wish more guys were, rather than just continuing to take advantage of a girl when they know they shouldn't be in any kind of relationship. Women tend to be more self reflective and aware of themselves and any shitty behavior and so they're able to say no.

[CrazyGirl2]

Woah, she doesn’t actually mean it! She is just trying to get you out of her life with as little pain possible! Sort of cushion the blow, and maybe avoid a future stalker!

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Shit I will never say that lol. I dont know why those girls say that but its weird. I wouldn't be in a relationship with a man I am know I am not going to marry.

[RedStiletto88]

I have told some guys that and it was just my way of saying I didn’t feel we were compatible as I thought they would be less likely to argue with me.

[SnakeBoop]

Wait. You're getting pissy a woman is bring honest enough to say "no, I don't think marriage to this dude Is a good idea'.
Are you expecting women should just say yes to the first male to ask?

[Srij23]

Yaa exactly I love when girls say exactly what they mean.. rather than giving some fake sense of hope or cryptic response... Honesty it makes life easy..

[SnakeBoop]

So what are you bitching about?
That statement you've used is a woman being honest?
Cuz if not, you have to really wonder why the woman would feel the need to give an excuse. Shows fear towards the dude.

[Srij23]

Hmm... that's upto the person...

[Srij23]

So you are saying that girls who use these lines are timid and afraid?

[SnakeBoop]

Nope.

[Justneedtokno]

A few things they don’t feel like they deserve you. There are not where they want to be in life.


They didn’t love you the way you do to them.

[Apulu_3]

They either feel that they are getting more than they deserve it don't want to hurt his feelings.

[dustybiker]

A lot of people really do have low self-esteem. There could be countless other reasons.

[lrina]

i feel like it's usually not genuine when they say that

[Kiki_bre_12]

I guess It is cause the girl either thinks that they are not good enough for you or they're just not ready to move to the stage if you Know. ... being a soon to be bride and they also might not want to deal with the stress of the preparations for the future

[melanieeeB]

Cause she doesn't wanna be with you. someone better = someone that has feelings for you and fits better to you

[fonduegirl]

We just don't want to hurt your feelings, sweetheart

[sheikalana]

I've never said such thing. That sounds like someone very insecure would say.

[Uptowngirl88]

Always? Stop protecting your situation onto everyone else. These "girls" you speak of just aren't interested in you.

[Srij23]

Hmmm...

[Srij23]

Also please tell me how do you reject guys.. love to see your side of the story?

[Uptowngirl88]

*projecting

[Uptowngirl88]

Doesn't matter, she's not interested move on

[Petite_Princess]

It's because we want to look supportive. We don't actually believe that you'll get someone better than us. But we don't want to be mean about it.

[Anonymous]

It's mostly a polite rejection. When people you like to be around but are not sexually attracted to ask you out, girls say that for not hurting his feelings.

[Anonymous]

She is simply asking you to fuck off with affection.

[Opinion Owner]

On a serious note. I think the girl likes you as a person but it's just a simple like or adore you. But doesn't love you back. So she is like
"you are an amazing person and for sure there are much better girls out there for someone as amazing as you.. but I don't have feelings for you. If I had i would have said yes, but I don't "
OR
She simply have low self esteem or thinks you are out of her league.

To be honest I feel mostly it's the first one.

[Gwenhwyfar]

They wanna soften the blow by devaluing themselves

[Alyssa_11]

I’ve never said that to a guy in my life.

[annabananna]

To soften the blow.