A girl is touchy, playful and talkative with another guy (so she is not shy) but is uncomfortable and avoiding eye contact with me?

[michaeltwnav]

There's this new girl at work with me and another colleague (but she has been assigned to work most of the time with him). He is indeed very good looking and fit (she is too lol) but he is already taken, and he has already made it clear to her (it's plausible that at some point in the beginning she has been attracted/interested in him).

Still, I notice that with him she is very talkative, comfortable and even touchy. All this to say that she doesn't seem to be the shy type. But, when I am around, it's clear that she is not as comfortable and it's eating me up inside with curiosity because I can't understand why.

Even though I have talked 1 on 1 with her a few times and she is able to maintain a normal flowing conversation with me just fine. However, for example in a group setting like a lunch in the same table, she holds steady eye contact towards this colleague and another, but with me eye contact it's always very brief and skipping past me a lot (it's noticeable she is avoiding eye contact). Also, she seems to prefer to be in the company of both my colleague and me rather than being just alone with me (and I also try not to force occasions of being alone with her so that she is not uncomfortable).

I want to be clear that I'm not a creep, I have good reputation at the workplace and I haven't done anything to creep her out (plus I don't want to have any harassment issues at work). It's fine if she is not interested in me, I will leave her alone. But if she is not interested in me, why does she seem affected in this way by me instead of acting normal/neutral? I really just want to understand what she thinks about me and why she is acting this way because if I end up displaying any signs of interest towards her or even asking her out and she is not interested it would make for an awkward atmosphere daily. I'm also considering that maybe she is just afraid I will make a move on her and that's why she acts nervous and tries to avoid eye contact?

[SueShe]

The way I see it is that you are sending out signals that you are not even noticing and that indicate or tell her to beware of you because she sees a potential danger in you.

When I say a potential danger, I am talking about "signs of interest towards her" as you state it. You may not even notice that you are signaling her that you are interested in her but women notice that kind of subtle and surreptitious signals.

She acts differently with your working colleagues because she knows she has nothing to fear from there and they do not represent a threat to her.

Best is just to ignore her and avoid her whenever you can. Don't even bother to look at her except for the casual greetings.

That should take care of the problem.

[michaeltwnav]

Thank you and God bless!

[Slingblade1126]

That was actually pretty interesting to read. I can definitely agree with that because girls have told me that. At an intern job we would have to work late occasionally and the girls would wanna work with me or my friend, John. They wouldn't wanna work with one of the other guys. One night they told me the main reason was because he was single and seemed creepy. My friend and I were both married. I could definitely see the difference in their behavior when they would speak to him. Always professional but very short and to the point. With me it was more off the cuff and friendly. The other guy was very nice and we got along good but the way you explained, I totally understand where the girls were coming from.

[SueShe]

@Slingblade1126 All it takes is a look that seems to be too penetrative, as if it would want to go to the soul or a quick, almost imperceptible glance of a fraction of a second towards the breasts or the cleavage and you are marked for life.

[Slingblade1126]

Oh yeah. They were great girls and I know they weren't the type to avoid someone for no reason. They worked well with everyone, including him, just didn't wanna be alone. On a side note, one of them told me he might not be as creepy if he didn't have a mustache. I laughed because my wife told me the samething!

[theothersider]

you think that you are not being creepy... but the fact that you are paying so much attention to everything she is doing I can assure you, you are being very creepy and most women can pick up on when some one is paying attention to us whether it is creepy or not.

[Avicenna]

It can often come down to her knowing him better, especially in a worl environment where touchiness can be problematic.

[Dchrls78104]

She's obviously interested in the other guy, and not in you; so why are you wasting time thinking about her?

[In_Trance]

Tldr

She senses your desperation and it's a turn off.

[Iron_Man]

Move on find a girl for you