Today at work this really sweet girl and her mom waited at the front door and told a coworker to find me. I hadn’t even spoken to them during their visit but they still asked me to come to the front. I was a bit confused and thought I was getting some kind of complaint so I walked up to the front awkwardly and they told me that they just wanted to tell me how pretty I was so I’m gushing and blushing and then I walk away and even though it made my day I had anxiety the rest of the day. I thought about the fact that so many people were right there to witness it and that they might judge me or think I wasn’t “all that”-a comment I had heard about me before from someone I thought was a genuine friend. I had friends turn on me and call me names like “ditz” and stuff. I never understood it until my best friend flat out told me that this happened because the other girl who I thought was my friend was simply jealous of me. I had people say some mean stuff to me or pick me apart. So a nice comment in public felt awkward the more I thought about it because I worried so much after that. And I have been having trouble embracing myself because of the criticism I got in the past for what I thought was no reason. It’s usually people I trust that I discover have trash talked me behind my back usually about the way that I look. I already struggled with my looks a lot because my ex boyfriend ghosted me for another girl so I had a lot of trouble with confidence after that. So when I would try to be confident and hear bad things about myself or gossip about me I would wonder why did people want to tear me down if they knew better than anything how hard it was to force confidence at times. So yeah it was a little comment but it’s always strangers that uplift you and people you know that tear you down or pick you apart.
How to be proud and confident when trusted people constantly tear you down?
