A girl who was into me, changed her mind in 3 days?

[Anonymous]

I met a very interesting girl, with whom I felt a very good match: same personality, same interests, same way to be funny. We had a journey together with another friend and we spent a wonderful time along the day. At the end of the day, I asked her to go out and she was enthusiastic about the idea. After we had 2 dates and everything seemed to be perfect, I tried some physical contacts and some intense kisses on the cheeks and she was happy and the day after she sent me a good morning and good job with some smiles. But, all of a sudden, on the third date I felt her very cold and distant, from the beginning I think and I perceived a kind of weird/bad feelings from her. My impression was correct during the week and she didn't send me any signals of interest anymore and she canceled the next date 2 hours before the meeting We had another travel together with the same friend and I talked about my interest, but she was like scared and said there was no interest by her and that at the beginning she sent some signals but things are different, she didn't want to add any other details. I said I got it, and start to listen to music but she want to involve me in a deep conversation about our mutual interests, despite her words, like she was into me again. After the travel she contacted me again 10 days later, just talking about shallow things and asking how was I, but I felt rejected and I didn't contact her back for further days. What do you think about her attitude? What she could feel about me?

[PrettyPriya]

Sounds like she really doesn't know what she wants. That sort of back and forth is a red flag. I could understand if it was one time. You never know if someone had a bad day or something happened in their life and they just aren't "there" at that time.

This seems to me more like she is indecisive and not sure if she wants a relationship or not. I would honestly sit down and talk to her about where the two of you stand and what you are both looking to get out of it.

That is really the only thing you can do. Besides, good communication is key in any relationship anyhow. If you can't discuss that, you don't have much of a shot at a solid relationship.

Still, it is that back and forth that would have me concerned. Maybe there is something going on. That is entirely possible. Perhaps she doesn't deal with stress well either and gets easily upset and has mood swings. Anything is possible. Best to discuss with her rather than guess.

[Asker]

Yes, I felt the same. Anyway, she told me that she likes when people can get her without asking anything, and also she said to avoid further questions because she would feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, she admitted she gave me signals of interest at the begging but also that she lived a couple of weird weeks.
I feel like she is a big "enigma" and maybe she isn't ready for a relationship...

[PrettyPriya]

Sadly, I think your instincts might be correct in this case. Sorry.

[PrettyPriya]

Thanks for the MHO 🙂

[Ukrainianbuddafly]

Sounds like she doesn't know or may be scared. I wouldn't give full effort. Best case she is hesitant because she likes you and has been hurt. Consistency and honesty will go a long way to help that. Worse (not worst) case is she doesn't know about you or could have something going on where she doesn't think she can contribute to or proceed with an actual relationship. There's also another less reasonable idea which is she could've been using you for the date (company, free meal/whatever.) Some women do that and I feel bad for the men.

[WhitneySnow]

She’s not into you. She just wants to be casual friends.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she either lost interest for whatever reason or she met someone else that she likes more and doesn't want to hurt your feelings

[In_Trance]

Move on. She's not interested