How do you break it to a 42-year-old woman that wants kids in the future that maybe it's not a great idea?

[D_Bone_Steak]

She's Asian and looks younger, and it's sort of obvious she just wants a kid to lock a man in to pay her rent... but damn, why? Like just make a kid for just that reason? She looks good enough so I'm just trying to understand her strategy. Is making the kid like a guarantee to just make sure she doesn't get cut off for at least 18 years?

[musicbrain5]

Pregnancy is riskier to both her health and the fetus’ health after 40. When either parent is reaching mid-life, there can be higher risks of chromosomal issues like Down Syndrome, etc. There are more errors that can happen.

[Apple1996]

Is this your girlfriend? Or someone random?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Random... no idea I'm taken yet, and although it's an open invitation, I'm thinking about just passing.

[Apple1996]

You should pass on that one. Any women who wants a kid past 35 is nuts

[D_Bone_Steak]

100% agree with that. It's not even one of those career women that claim they don't need any man. Really feels like ends justify the means type of woman... especially by coming right out the front gate with something like kids at retirement age. It makes me sink back and wonder just WTF she was doing or thinking about that 10 years ago.

... and I'm going to be completely honest, the money and time that would take with consideration to my own age... I still have an 11 year old I'm trying to get grown. I really want nothing to do with more of that for the rest of my life.

[Apple1996]

Yeah I feel you on that. I'm having my kids now when I'm young so retirement/middle age will be more chill and relaxed

[Anonymous]

42 and in the future? That’s so late, don’t women know after 35 it starts to become risky for certain problems or birth defects? Besides who wants kids so late? Does it seem like she wants child support?

[D_Bone_Steak]

That's the point... it's almost obvious she wants child support. Seems like a game a young 25 year old would play, but at 42? I mean damn... if she does get pregnant somehow that thing will come out fucked up most likely. ... and she'd be an old ass Mom. Like she didn't want this stuff maybe 20 years ago, and I know there has to be reasons for that. She was getting paid just for looks back then.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it’s not a logical decision

[SomewhereElse]

I think most likely you read her intentions correctly, hinting at wanting a kid is an attempt to bind you to her. It's also possible that she's been wanting to have a child for a while anyway, but didn't find a suitable potential father in the past. Or she may simply not have been interested in having children when she was younger.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Oh yeah I think I read her intentions after some digging it started to become obvious she wanted the fast track to a fully committed relationship and I don't do those. I kind of called her out on it and she simply didn't respond... then I ran into a 29 year old and it was like they were reading the same script. I ignored the 2nd girl and decided to just stop looking for potential side chicks. Too many of them are posting up where you're supposed to just find flings and sex friends but pretty much demanding more. I wanna just go back to Japan tbh where I could get some relief quick and easy for 5,000 yen real quick and just move on with my life. Too much investment and pitfalls here in America, but that's just my opinion.

[SomewhereElse]

Well, there's not much incentive for the average woman to settle for being a side-piece. I think your best bet would be to pursue married women or women who already have a relationship but are sexually unsatisfied. I've witnessed a surprising amount of my married female coworkers cheat for nothing but sex. Often with another coworker, usually also married or in a serious relationship. Can't say I understand why you'd stay with a partner who doesn't satisfy you or if the relationship is great otherwise risk it by cheating, but different strokes for different folks I suppose.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You're right... my relationship is complicated to say the least and I'm not risking anything tbh, except from these outside chicks. You're especially right about finding the married or taken chicks... I've done this a lot in the past and they were pretty much a guarantee no bullshit no strings sort of thing.

[SomewhereElse]

Makes sense! Yes, for some coworkers I kind of understood it - one guy's wife had a very traumatic pregnancy & birth and I think around a month after his son was born, he started to have an affair with another married coworker. She didn't have kids but didn't want any, and had a reputation for sleeping her way through the office. The others I think mostly just wanted to get sex as often as possible I think. Either way, I hope your situation improves or you find what you are looking for!

[D_Bone_Steak]

Thanks and yeah... I'm currently trying to redirect my attention away from anything sexual and just play video games or something... anything else. Sex is nice, but it comes packaged with too much shit. I'm starting to view it as a bad habit I'm just going to be better off with just doing without. I'll keep hitting the weights, but it's going to be about my health from now on it seems.

[RomanticRealist]

In terms of having a child - That's her decision. I'm sure her doctors have or will tell her everything she needs to know. I'm kind of confused as to why you think this is your place... you said this is a random person. Why do you need to tell her this? Confused.

Also, why do you think she's trying to have a kid to get someone to pay rent? Also, doesn't that imply that she already has a partner that she's discussing this with? I'm sure they can handle the conversation without your help. I'm still confused about why you're worried about this or think you should say anything lol

[D_Bone_Steak]

If you read my most recent response to @SomewhereElse here it will start to make sense. This is an older post and it's getting advertisement now for some reason all of a sudden. I've already picked the MHO's and the whole thing.