Guys, American/UK/Canada men: what do men think when they see a woman at the bar by herself?

[Anonymous]

I’m having lots of problems in my relationship right now. He doesn’t care about me or love me anymore. My stress level is through the roof. I’m pretty isolated from most family and friends so I’d like to go have a drink or two at a bar tonight. This is something I’ve NEVER done alone before so I’m a little nervous.

I don’t know what I’m expecting to happen aside from just relaxing and changing scenery. what would you think if you saw a woman about 30 sitting at the bar by herself?

[OpenClose]

You might get hit on a few times, if I'm being honest.

As for my personal thoughts, I'm more concerned about how "I'm" being perceived being at a bar alone, let alone a girl. Like if I'm in a social place, I want people to feel they can come and chat. But being alone makes me feel like people will view me as someone not worth chatting with.

If I see a girl alone at a bar, I might chat if we're sitting next to each other at the bar or something. But I try to be a bit more cautious, welcoming, and chill, because I feel like she probably feels extra self-conscious and wary of guys talking to her. Kinda makes things suck for trying to find a date though.

[Qdbrown]

Really depends how she came off?

If she was dressed sexy, I would think fishing for free drinks, looking for a good time, maybe a professional, or even better, getting back at husband for cheating on her.

If she was dressed in business attire. I would think she was just chilling. before going on with her evening. Just blowing some steam.

If she was dressed sloppy, I would think alcoholic. Maybe a welfare case looking for a few drinks.

And let's not forget how she comes off. If she is happy, maybe a fun person. If mad or bitter, leave her alone because she has more poison in her than alcohol.

[Anonymous]

American.

And I would do nothing.
Because a bar, a club, or a party is the LAST place I'd want to be looking to approach women. And even if I was there for whatever reason, I wouldn't bother you, or be anywhere near you.

Perhaps the LEAST I would do is maybe offer to drive you home if you happen to have more than a couple drinks. Of course, that's if you don't already have 5 other guys trying to make a move on you... which I'm sure you'll get plenty... because a bar is not particularly a good place to be getting that kind of attention, imho.

Besides, you didn't mention whether or not you broke up with your partner.

[Jay3344]

Nothing really…I keep my mind on myself and my friends. If it really came down to it I would say maybe she is trying to get a drink, maybe she is just unwinding with a drink after work, she could be waiting for someone, maybe she just wants to be out at a bar alone, someone could be in the bathroom while she’s there…I mean if your looking for the answer I would a feel sad for her it’s not happening because nobody knows your situation so don’t worry and just have a few drinks alone if you want

[Adam1978]

I would think at all. I don't reflect on strangers in that way. Besides I don't go to bars to just hang, but I guess it's not a to uncommon view, if I would go to one. I wouldn't go looking for dates in a place where a good partner rarely should be visiting. I am not looking for a party person after all, or a drunk.

[DannyUk2017]

When sober... Just a woman enjoying her drink.
When tipsy... a partner to talk to, get things off my chest, or who knows, usually i go with the flow. But sometimes can end up in a total "vulcano" than can "release/vent" the frustration, devil out of us...🤷‍♂️

[ManOnFire]

It's the women sitting alone that I definitely don't talk to. Because as a guy you can get a bad label/image for approaching one alone. I don't know what their deal is, why they're there by themselves, but I don't make it my business to find out honestly.

Since you did it though, what happened? What was your experience?

[DJB72]

I'd start assuming she was waiting for someone. Then I'd assume she'd been stood up.

I'd probably offer to buy her a drink but I wouldn't be expecting anything other than the conversation.

It's the advantage of being 50.

When I was 30 I'd have crapped myself trying to get the nerve up to talk to her. I was terminally shy. If it hadn't been for finding a dating site 20 years ago I'd probably never have married!

[libsaretards]

When I see a woman by herself at a bar, my first thought is "Is she going to be safe?". ANYONE is vulnerable after a few drinks, but women especially. I start to want to protect a woman if she is by herself at a bar but am often afraid to say anything because I do not know how she will take it. I do not desire to date women I meet at bars, but I do want them to be safe.

[Anonymous]

Nowadays it almost feels like a setup if a girl is sitting by herself. Especially if she is attractive.

It’s like she sets herself by putting herself in a place where men typically approach women. And being by herself it’s even more of an advertisement of “please someone talk me up and take me home”. But in the post metoo world it feels like a huge shit test and set up.

[Staximus]

I work at a bar, I see a lot of women come in by themselves. Some comes to see the bands play, or to not be sitting at home by themselves, or to meet up with friends or meet new ones, or some are after some dick. It friends on how she is behaving. If a woman comes in late, right before closing time by herself, she's usually looking for some guy to take home and fuck.

[whiskeyontherocks]

I work long days and my girlfriend is usually asleep so at the bar alone often after 10pm. Some times going home and trying to be quiet make dinner decompress etc is less appealing than people watching while getting good food service.


Personally I wouldn’t think anything of it. Maybe spark a conversation and be friendly. Once you’re a regular at a bar grill bartenders will usually warn you about individuals and other regulars become close friends in a way.
What’s your concern?

[20yearsolder]

Who cares what we think? If you want to go have a couple of drinks then do so. If you get unwanted attention and tell them to go away. Tell them you're waiting on someone to show up. Whatever it takes. Go relax

[hahahmm]

90% chance that I totally ignore you. Unless you are blocking my view of the TV. 10% chance that I mistake you for a lazy bar worker who is drinking on the job.

[MrCommodore]

I depends on how she is dressed. I'd assume she is travelling for work and just killing some time after dinner if she is dressed smart casual.

[MCheetah]

No one usually thinks anything. Unless she is making clear gestures she wants a man to flirt with her.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. You’re just another person. Depending on the bar you may have to deal with someone trying to talk to you.

I myself don’t really go and talk to anyone or chat them up. I just want to have a drink and watch the animals.

[tfan1]

Depending on the guys or girls there, you would probably be hit on, asked to go somewhere with them, possibly have your drink spiked (worst case scenario)

[Jackblue]

Honestly, if she has no ring on I would see that as a possible person to hit on. Maybe if you don't want that, it is best to bring a female friend or two along.

[AviatorTom]

I would think she's either on business or looking to be picked up.

[MysticDevice]

Maybe she got stood up, maybe her friends are late, maybe she's just enjoying a little time to herself

[OddBeMe]

Usually that means she's open for business (respectfully)... looking to meet men or women. Now of course your gender is so fucking sensitive right now no guy has the balls to approach.

[cth96190]

I would think that she was waiting for someone.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think you should not run to alcohol to relieve your stress. You should find a healthier and more constructive outlet.

[art84]

I don't go to bars but if I did and saw a women alone who was 30 years old, I would think she is looking for company.

[bolverk]

Personally, nothing if she is sitting alone its her choice.

[EaterPeter]

I would try to approach her. Depends on her body language amd micro expressions. May be send her a drink first.

[Heolurt]

Depends on the guy, I would probably think she's either waiting on someone or just doesn't want to be approached especially by me.

[FunDressWearingGuy]

I would see an opportunity to make a new friend. That's how my current girlfriend and I met, she wandered into a bar I was in, and the rest is history. we are still together 22 years later.

[boobliker]

never thought about that as I use to run a bar and had girls all the time

[AimeeKyle]

She is traveling for work or waiting for someone.

[Baredog]

What most men think if their honest. Maybe I can get laid. Now let's see how my liars disagree. Men are pigs, I know I am one.