How to deal with pushy women around a baby?

[Anonymous]

Baby started crying, it takes me a bit to calm her down usually. I'm in grocery store in line. Woman offers to help I said no thanks but she kept insisting. Kept getting closer. I got mad & baby starts crying more. She takes that as she's right/ I need help. So close she's actually touching baby now. I yell at her to back up. She gets mad that I yelled that I'm being rude, n worker tells me to leave cuz I'm scaring other people. So I leave.

I understand yelling would scare other people, but I feel like I ran out the options at that point. I tried being nice. I tried being firm. I tied being mean. What else should I have done? Just immediately left ig cuz I ended up having to leave anyway... she didn't have to leave. She was still complaining to the worker saying how I shouldn't even have a kid if I can't be mature. Got to the car n baby start calming down again when it's quiet.

Altho not often, this isn't the first time I've had random women try to help with my baby. I don't mind the asking. But I always say no. And only 50% of the time does that work to make them stop. It never got to the point of yelling b4 tho. Well not on my part. I need a better way to handle this shit in the future bc I doubt it will go away until baby stops being a baby.

[Anonymous]

My mother refused to permit strangers to touch me, you don't know where their filthy paws have been! Furthermore, they were welcome to talk to me like AN ADULT, "baby talk" is gibberish and does nothing but confuse and delay the development of the child's mind. She would play lectures from college courses she and her friends recorded for me while she was pregnant and refused to sing the traditional, morbid nursery rhymes.

As a result I could read on a 3rd grade level by the time I started 1st... My point is that when it comes to babies, the general public are morons and should be treated as such... Don't let that creepo touch your child!

[Asker]

Totally agree w many people don't know cuz they haven't learned. And shouldn't try to cut over the actual parent. people are gross.

I think "baby talk" is actually really helpful for babies tho. Not for reading/thinking but for talking/feelings. Babies love exaggerated language and expressions. And it helps them recognize it easier and learn to do it back easier. But ya i don't think it makes them any smarter than average, and if it's total gibberish then they are just engaged, not rlly learning. But real words in baby talk, 👍

[Opinion Owner]

I still have to agree with mom on the baby talk... By the time I was in first grade I was able to tell my teachers stories in such a serious and convincing way that they literally called CPS on my parents over my made up twin brother who I convinced them had drowned from my parents tossing us into the lake and telling us to sink or swim... (I'm native and proudly carry on the "oral tradition") ... my teachers were pissed because instead of getting onto me for telling stories my parents laughed at them and simply told them "she only tells you stories because you're dumb enough to believe them!"

I was a very well spoken 6 year old, thanks to mom.

[dustybiker]

What a horrible woman.
You might have to up the volume yourself, first, should someone be grabby, again. Make it the point they are wrong to touch your child without asking.

I’ve had the same with my line of work. Only people came to my aid. That was wrong of them in your case. Sorry you had to go through that.

[bolverk]

Women seem to automatically assume that men need help with babies/children they never think that men have the experience to care with babies/children. I have cared for all of my sisters, nieces & nephews, changed, fed & bathed them. Any-time a woman has tried to insert herself when I was caring for them, she was rebuffed with a firm 'NO' and moved the child to the opposite side of my body from her if I'm caring the child or move the pushchair around me creating a barrier with my body, they usually got the message the first time, If it happened today I'd also use my phone to record the woman, they usually find that off putting.

[Mangospacho]

Wow. Good for you for taking the baby with you to the store as a father. I think, in general, most people look at a father with a newborn like he’s the novice no matter what. The woman in line was probably annoyed at the baby crying, even though your baby was probably just hungry and there’s not much you can do while you’re out. When she offered to help and the baby was upset at the other woman, if she was actually trying to help, she would’ve backed off immediately. I don’t understand why, especially now, people just assume they have good intentions when they’re holding a stranger’s baby.

[BlueScorpio]

No, you politely asked her to respect your boundaries and she wasn't listening. You did not want a stranger touching your baby and that understandable. There's been to many stories of people snatching children and sadly a lot sneaky women will do this cause they couldn't have their own. So yiunhad every right to get upset and raise yiyr voice to let her know your serious about not touching your child. Chances are I would do the same.

[Anonymous]

it may have to do with your really young age. just step away as quickly as possible next time. act as if someone was trying to grab you (instead of your baby). you'd quickly walk away right?

[Asker]

True if someone tried to pick me up that would be even weirder. I think I'd still try to do what I came for tho, n just shove them away. I just can't shove w a baby tho. Can't get any sort of violent. Barely can yell cuz it upsets her. So ya just go hide n wait until they leave may be the thing to do after all.

[OlderAndWiser]

Tell them, "She's crying because she is afraid of strangers, so the most helpful thing you can do is to just keep your distance."

[Anonymous]

You did alright. Might want to grab their arm next time and swing her back. A last warning shall complete it "fuck off". At some point you have to become physical.

[Friendlybro79]

If you're serious I can't tell here. This is either the most hilarious sarcasm or the worst advice ever lol.

[Anonymous]

Id give them lots of leeway.