Why would a girl avoid being straight forward with a guy?

[Anonymous]

I met a girl and I expressed to her that I wanted to get to know her, i mentioned that if she wasn’t interested that it was all good and to take it as a compliment that I found her attractive. She said she would really like to get to know me too and smiled. As time went on the first time I asked for her availability through text, she said she was busy that week and that she’ll try to reach out to me again next week. I took it as a no.

A week went by, and she reached out. Said she was sorry for taking a week to reach out since she was busy. She said she probably wasn’t going to be able to hang out during that part of the semester (we’re in college) but asked if we could hang out in the middle of the semester, literally 2-3 months from that day. Yeah it sounds ridiculous.

I politely replied by saying “that’s fine, good luck with the semester and things going forward, if you’re interested in the future let me know”. She replied later that night, I think drunk cause of the amount of typos, and said that she was going to reach out the following week and that she was sorry for the wishy washy answers from her. I didn’t reply.

Cont…. In comments

Updates

+1 y

Ran into her a few days later and she looked nervous when she saw me and walked a different direction fidgety. After that I avoided her for the day and I didn’t approach. A week went by and I wanted an answer even if it was a no. I gave her a plan to hang out when she came from her trip and she said she’ll think about it and let me know. I replied saying that this wasn’t a yes or no and that I needed an answer also that I didn’t take things personal if it was a no. She replied that she’ll let me

[Anonymous]

You deserve someone who will communicate with you effectively. Not someone unsure, playing games etc. she's not mentally/emotionally mature.

The whole too busy shit means she's not interested. I could be totally wrong here but to me things are not the right time. Right person wrong time. Even if she's extremely shy with you she has to be okay with herself in order to speak to you. she's shy with you. An insecurity that won't fix its self by itself, liquor, friends, you... I say leave her be. If she really wants you she will come to you. Dont force shit. It won't work. You'll make her run away if she feels the slightest bit of pressure or if you're controlling.

If she's anything like me I'd say give her space, dont play mind games and respect the time she needs for to grow or whatever tf she's doing. But to me she's not all the interested. She will know that you're waiting too. Dont do it. Go live your life.

Good luck buddy oh pal

[Asker]

I totally agree with you. The most confusing part, which is why I asked this question, is that I gave her so many chances to tell me no. I stated from the beginning that if she wasn’t interested that it was all good no worries. The. I told her many times that I didn’t take anything personal. She can’t delaying the answer until I really pressured her after so many tries. She hasn’t had a boyfriend in like 5 years and is 21. I’ve been familiar with her for over a year before this. We’ve locked eyes for 5 seconds the year before and I’ve noticed her staring a lot at me during the past year 1/2. I never made a move or had a convo with her due how life was going for me. A year later I reached out to her.

[Opinion Owner]

Well... honestly she may be afraid to hurt your feelings. I honestly dont know what the girl is thinking... but what's wrong with taking things slow and getting to actually know her as a person... you might not like her. She could be too much of a brat or princess. Like sexual tension is there sure but do you actually like her as someone u can be stuck with for a long time? Many people forget that part over "locking eyes" with eachother. No offense but who cares.
Hows her character? Is there combat ability? How is her communication? Is she loyal? Respectful etc etc!!

[Asker]

Just to add to this. My friend (she doesn’t know I’m friends with him) tried talking to her in 2019. He said he walked out of there not knowing if she liked him or not. She was hot and cold and it went no where

[Asker]

My friend warned me that she plays hard to get and hasn’t given a guy a chance in all of her college years

[Opinion Owner]

Hard to get means literally she's not fucking interested.
Like there are people out there who want the real deal... not everyone has time to play games. And she seems smart. She knew that guy whoever he is was no good himself. That dude was probably a cheater? Lol anyway. I'd leave her be if I were you and move on. Sounds messy tbh. Itll be okay

[Opinion Owner]

You've yet to tell me or mention how you know her. Because you can't just scoop in sometimes just cause you're a player yourself. You've met your match here this girl ain't a weak bitch. It's just something of a triumph to you. she's just an ego boost and you're a player. y'all have literally zero in common. All there is is attraction which very much fades after a while amd that's only situation ship and toxic relationship shot she has no interest in

[Asker]

You’re right. I have to stop being delusional and looking for ways to make myself feel better

[Opinion Owner]

I feel that shit. Dont be too hard on yourself. But be honest about things. I hope you do some inner work maybe... everyone always has learning and growing to do. Each day is a new day. Hopefully y'all can be friends one day I don't know the situation but you'll be A okay.

[Asker]

I met her in college she worked in a gym I went to. I noticed a lot of staring from her. We had a mutual friend too

[Opinion Owner]

That means literally nothing. Again... everyone goes to the gym to work out. But do your passions collide. Your long and short term goals lol buddy sit this one out. Please. Again I wish you many healings from the situation. And I hope you are able to be okay

[Asker]

Thanks. I will sit out lol

[Opinion Owner]

I hope so... the whole thing isn't worth much right now. So sorry. ✌🏼

[Opinion Owner]

Me and a few homies will be watching dear. We all hope you're finally able to let gooo

[spartan55]

I've had plenty of women pull that shit, and it drives me crazy. I've never had one be honest about rejecting me. Not ONE.

[Guy13]

Because women are decisively Indecisive, therefore, being straightforward is an impossibility

[Asker]

Yeah that’s true. Could a woman be possibly be interested at first and then get cold feet and talk her self out of it?

[BrightBubblyKat]

Sometimes men are too.

[YakuzaMan]

She sounds shy or has low confidence and her nerves are taking over.

[Asker]

I know most people said that anything other than a yes is a no. This girl has never had a real relationship. She reciprocated at first and kept suggesting meeting up in the future. If she was completely out of it, would she ghost me? I told her that she kept talking herself out of it and she didn’t deny it

[OlderAndWiser]

Habit.