and only pretend to emotionally support men just to take advantage of them or blackmail them?
Society hates it when men shows emotion and while a lot of women say they encourage men to vent or show emotions, a lot of other men I spoke with told me that women only pretend to believe it's okay for men to have emotions just so they can get something out of men or use men's own emotion against them in the future.
It's not a lie. Intimacy comes as a result of trust. Trust is earned. Trust takes time and consistency. Sharing one's most private thoughts, and having them received graciously, supportively by another, builds a relationship (any kind, whether that be romantic, love, familial, whatever.)
The issue is often that there will always be a certain segment of the population that is not emotionally mature enough to handle others' emotions.
Then you've got people who are so overwhelmed with the problems of their own life, they really can't handle any more, so they may appear to lack compassion and empathy, but it's really that they are in self-preservation mode, treading water, themselves.
Then you've got people who are bitter and resentful and angry at that person, and when that person reveals things to them, they use it as an opportunity to emotionally hurt that person. It may be delayed retribution, for not having supported them in their time of distress.
You never (or rarely) hear men mention these things are reasons why emotions are not received kindly. Men distill emotions down to the point of often being dismissive. This is how they were often raised. Get up, stand up, you're okay, toughen up. But society, and parents, teach this. It does not start all of a sudden one day with women.
Men do these things too, by the way, both to us, and to each other. Sometimes even when they do care, they are just not emotionally equipped to react constructively. They simply fall back on the trope, "Women want men to be strong, and even when they claim emotions are fine, they really lose attraction." False. In MOST cases.
With a lot of women, what we want is an emotionally mature, high EQ (yes, that really is a thing, Emotional Intelligence) man, who is capable, fairly strong, resilient, but ALSO has emotional depth, and trusts in us, chooses us, to be his true self to, and with. That level of trust is a gift. That is the kind of man that is in high-demand (forget all this 'high value' bullshit).
And on a personal note, every man who has shared these very personal feelings, desires, vulnerabilities, etc., about themselves to me, I have respected, commended, always felt closer to, and not less attracted. Attraction is complex. But all humans need connection, and to deny this is just inhumane.
Here's my poll. I'm not going to accept any "The girls are just lying." You need to accept that MOST of what people say is, in fact, the truth. You can be skeptical, sure, but you cannot simply call everything a lie. If you can't even allow that courtesy, you've got no business interacting with whatever group. We could say similar things about guys, but what would that solve/accomplish? Give the benefit of the doubt. And don't make every future person you meet pay for the sins of those in the past. Every person is a new person, so give them a clean slate. It's always possible that some, or one, will actually not disappoint or betray you.
True
No it's actually extremely frustrating having a man who won't tell you how he's feeling as how are we meant to help if you won't talk to us about it.
If you are dating me it's my job to listen to your worries and make you feel better and comfort you just as I would expect the same if I was the one having issues.
If you can't even talk to the person you plan of sharing your life with about how your feeling how expect to talk to anyone else.
Crying and being emotional is totally normal what isn't normal is when they bottle it up until they get to a breaking point and go crazy shouting and punching walls
😂 lol
Women don’t consciously “lie” about wanting men to show their emotions. They actually believe what they are saying but their subconscious (which determines attraction) wants something else. They are doing a shit test and don’t even realize it. If a man takes the bait she will feel relieved that she finds him relatable like he’s another woman.
That makes him less threatening but also makes him less attractive. He’s now less mysterious, less challenging and last but not least (and absolutely worst of all) less masculine. Showing his emotions will get to the woman’s heart but not GET the woman’s heart.
Inexperienced men often walk into a insidious trap here because she will initially seemingly connect with him more when he opens up. This will give him a false sense of confidence that she might be falling for him. In reality he is permanently putting himself in the friendzone and she finds no problem with it because again she sees him as just another woman. It’s the horrible ugly truth.
Men are only allowed to show their emotions and not lose face at the exact right time which is subjectively set in the woman’s mind.
Now there are exceptions to the rule here. But woman will only tolerate emotional men if the man is exceptional in some other area in his life. If he’s a talented artist, musician, athlete, comedian, successful businessman, etc she will tolerate it. His looks will give him the least leeway on this though if he isn’t exceptional with something else.
Women don't necessarily lie, but in most cases women cannot handle a mans raw emotions. Women are wired to need to feel safe, in order to be attracted to a man. So while we are clearly human, and have human emotions, the unfortunate reality is that most women will lose attraction for you if your emotions don't make them feel safe. Most women incorrectly assume that if you as a man show too much emotion, that you cannot still handle business, so they will judge you for it, and a lot of women will actually use your emotions against you.
Next, obviously men have emotions, but the world doesn't work the way that it perhaps should, so its important for you as a man to understand that, and navigate this world accordingly. You must protect your peace by only expressing your most vulnerable emotions to people that you can trust not to judge you for them, or use them against you. Lastly, therapy is a mans best friend, because one solid outlet to express your raw emotions is often all most men need. It only take one person to listen, but in most cases that person will not be someone you're romantically involved with when you're a heterosexual man, because most women cannot feel safe if they feel like you are more emotional than them. It's just the way it is. Good luck and again, therapy is every mans best friend. Spread the word.
i rlly dont mind if a man cries on my shoulder. i want him too feel protected too
Where did you learned that? That women lose attraction of we show emotions?
And you seem to believe that is biological. You must have a good source for this.
@lachupacabra rare
Opinion
32Opinion
yes, no, depends what the emotions are and how much and how much she can handle it herself.
I think the essence of this becomes security, his development and some selfishness... that is, does the emotional expression make her feel closer, more security and comfort, or does it make her feel worse, insecure, scared, etc.. It may be she wants to see him free of prior restraints and progress.
Emotions are how we connect and build security, support, trust.
Hiding them is fun, mysterious, and creates a challenge, but it isn't going to build security. It's a sign of power... and that creates a challenge which some will crave for.
Women want you to show emotions just not be a crybaby. It's double edge sword because once you start showing emotions men tend to think they can just let it all out as if there woman is there mommy and that is where it tends to go sideways.
No, I personally like men who are sensitive, intelligent and strong enough to express themselves and go for what they want. I have trouble respecting those who can’t.
Rare
Not exactly sure if they're lying, but maybe to themselves more than anyone. I might agree with what other men told you because it often does seem to be that women will try to exploit men they know or can see are emotional or "sensitive." And they will think that you're easy to manipulate and easy to get you in your feelings.
More than anything though, you have the bigger problem of women just not respecting a man for saying how he feels or being fed up with something. This is because women like being the ones in this position, and hate it if a man has the same kinds of feelings or response to things that would give her the same kind of support and attention. It's their need for control. So instead of listening and respecting the man, the women would rather try to gaslight him and make him look bad for saying how he feels, standing up for himself, etc. or even laugh as if he is something not to be taken seriously.
Even when women say that's not true or say how they hate women who do that to men, they still turn around do it.
Yep. Also just to play devils advocate here. What if woman went around saying the ugly truth that they don’t want emotional men. Relieving it’s front and center but also puts the huge double standard pressure on men. At least fewer men would be mislead.
@blueonblack22 True, but I would rather meet women who can outright say they don't want emotional men, because it just makes it easier for me to avoid them. Better that than to date a hypocrite.
I have met women who outright said that. Yeah it comes off as bitchy and double standards and yet I have to respect their brutal honesty.
Most women actually believe or want to believe they like men who show their emotions but we all know the ugly truth.
@blueonblack22 "Most women actually believe or want to believe they like men who show their emotions" - Right. That's what I was pretty much trying to say in my answer but you put it best.
Honestly, I had a woman tell me that I was not asking enough questions about her to really get to know her better. So I started asking questions, and then said it make her feel really uncomfortable, because knowledage is power and she does not want to answer questions that I could use against her later.
Me on the other hand I am a very honest and open person. I told her everything about me and answered all her questions. But at soon as we got into a disagreement, she uses the things I shared with her against me.
They say they want to see these emotions, and they want you to share. Then you do that, and they say that its makes them uncomfortable when they see the passion and emotions those things stir up for me.
I hate to say its black mail or that they are trying to manipulate you... but on some level it seems that they cannot help themselves. I can't remember a time when showing emotions really helped anything. Eventually they come back around on you with it. Thats been my experience, they do not do it on purpose more times than not, but they can't help themselves either.
It's not uncommon for a woman to say that it's okay for men to show emotions, while actually feeling uncomfortable when it happens. This inconsistency can arise from several factors, including societal conditioning, personal preferences, and cultural norms.
Firstly, women are often socialized to believe that men should be stoic and unemotional. Even though this view is gradually changing, many women still hold onto the notion that emotional expression is a sign of weakness in men. This belief can be so deeply ingrained that a woman may not even realize she holds it until she is faced with a man who displays emotions openly.
Secondly, personal preferences and comfort levels can also play a role in this inconsistency. A woman may intellectually believe that men should be able to show emotions, but when a man in her life actually does so, she may feel uncomfortable or uncertain about how to respond. This discomfort can stem from a lack of familiarity with emotional expression or from a belief that a man's emotions should be kept private.
In conclusion, a woman may say that it's okay for men to show emotions while actually feeling uncomfortable when it happens, but she might not have known she would feel uncomfortable, so she didn't lie.
This question actually reminds me of a time when an ex-friend came to complain to me about how her boyfriend never showed his emotions to her. A month or two later his mother has fallen sick and was diagnosed with cancer and he had cried in front of her. I remember when she told me this story she was whining to me about how he was so emotional and acting like a baby and that she wished he would be a man. So for me this just showed how sometimes people say things but the next thing you know it changes.
Truth
If they’re the correct emotions then sure and you let them out while still maintaining your composure. If you’re asking if you can break down with them the answer is no. You’re there to be the wall not the other way around and they will lose respect for you over it. Stick to whatever self destructive vice you have as a coping mechanism your girl ain’t gonna help you. Speaking of I just adopted workaholic after ten days in a row of 12 hour work days. Put that under nicotine and before the gym visits at 4:00am.
I think it's a lie.
I pay attention to women and their dating stuff. They say they want this, this, that, and this. But if you pay attention to their prior boyfriend's... yeah fucking right. Also when they do meet the literal definition of what they say they want... he's to boring for her and she drops him like a bad habit.
I don't really care, because I'm just a fucking asshole and never had issues getting a woman's panties to drop. But it is something I can't help but notice. That's why I think it's all a lie.
My theory is that women say this because of how they connect but I think more times than not they say this because they feel your problems will weigh on the relationship. I’ve been burned too many times to divulge everything. The best advice I can give is tell them your problems to an extent and let them know you have a handle on it and that it won’t affect the relationship. It feels like women will only validate your feelings for a certain amount of time before they find it icky or unattractive. I don’t think they mean to do it but the phenomenon is strange to say the least.
Depends on the woman. Some women are cunts who can't provide emotional support if their lives depended on it. Those women deserve to be single for life. Other women are emotionally mature and emotionally intelligent enough to recognize that guys have emotions and need to express them from time to time. The key is to be able to express them in a healthy and calm way. No guy wants a girl who complains all the time about stupid shit. Girls are the same way. They want a guy who's in control of his emotions but the ones worth being with recognize that no one person can do it all all of the time and that they're going to need to be supportive if they want a healthy relationship. A relationship without two-way emotional vulnerability is a relationship that will just foster resentment and can never be a fully healthy one.
Women are emotional creatures so they think if we become emotionally vulnerable like them they would be able to understand us better but they won’t because men and women are too different we’re night and day
They want to make men like women and it’s backfiring because we can’t behave counter to our nature soft weak men are emotional they have no control over their emotions like a woman
a big and perhaps the most important part of being a man is having self control and the discipline to keep your emotions in check
men are much stronger and violent if we lose control or are overly vulnerable and sensitive people get hurt or worse people should fear weak emotional men they are the greatest threat to any Society
No definetly not, having feelings and showing them isn't weak at all. Its the society which try to make us believe it is bad to show feelings. But in the end let us be real for some seconds, without emotions without our feelings we are already dead. I would definetly pick always a men first who is showing his feelings.
😂 lol
Not really. Women are attracted to stoicism, up to a point- but if they don't want dull emotionless robots, they don't want weepy incapable wretches, either. They very naturally feel frustration at the difficulties in their lives, and since very few of them have any clear idea of what men go through, they tend to assume that whatever their man is doing is wrong.
I think this can often happen. I watched a video of a man saying, “oh I wouldn’t care how much my wife makes. Id like to be able to provide so she doesn’t have to work. If she makes more? Well that’s fine… a little hit to my ego maybe haha.” The comments of feminists were mad!
man was being honest. He feels a sense of purpose and has identity in his manhood through being a provider, it’s where he’d like to be appreciated. So of course it would make him feel bad if he couldn’t prove himself in that way, but he’d accept a woman who makes more regardless!
some women beg for the truth, for your honest feelings… but it’s better to lie. They just ask questions they’re not smart enough to realize they don’t want the answer to. My mom does this to me pretty often and I’ve been learning to say what she wants me to say instead of what I really feel.
Nah they don't like it at all despite them saying they want men to be in touch with their feelings. What they mean is they want men to be in touch with her feelings. They really want us to have the emotions of a brick wrt ourselves. Their emotions fill up all the available bandwidth so their is no room left.
It depends I am very emotional so I prefer someone to level me out and be more grounded, to pull me back to reality when I need it lol, when he is going through a hard time tho like any human being does it becomes unhealthy to suppress your feelings, my least favorite emotional to deal with from men is anger it tends to get more out of control than women in my opinion, it’s all a matter of degree
Emotion management
From my experience, yes, they shame men who show emotions, make fun of them, and call them womanly. I was even made fun of when I was crying because of my dead pet cat. Mothers, sisters, and relatives tell you to man up, but girls use it for future shaming and talk behind your back, which I have always seen in my life.
I have only heard or read that women like emotional guys but my reality is always the opposite. I believe that's why bad boys are so popular among women, as they don't show any emotion at all.
Ladies say this because it's virtue signaling. However the unspoken truth is that the moment you become vulnerable she will be there for you, but no longer feel attracted to you. Added misery is that everything you tell her in a vulnerable state will be passed on to her friends. Don't be vulnerable with women.
when i say its okay to talk to me, i really mean it. i want you to spill all of your problems out so you have less of a burden, and i would NEVER use it against you, unlike some people did to me..
Friends
I did show emotions to my girlfriend before. She is now my wife. It's been years since I did and she never brought it up once.
At the time she simply gave me her support. Didn't shameful me, insulted me, nothing. Just gave me her support.
If you shed some tears bc something awful happened in your life, then any girl thinking you're a cry baby is a bitch. However, if you start balling at the drop of a hat, then it's possible you may be the bitch.
Yes it's okay, emotions are normal and being in touch with them should be encouraged. It's OTHER men who say it makes you weak, it's OTHER men who make women believe these absurd things.
Uh huh
We have no reason to lie when it comes to that.
Also, I think it is healthy when people are able to express emotion. Unlike me. I cannot nor am I able to.
Except reasons
I don't think they're lying, but I think in many cases (not all), it's not the full truth. Many women know it is morally sound to not judge a man for showing emotion. But I many situations, I think they also find it unattractive. So they'll say it's okay, because it is, but still might see them as less attractive.
Sort of. They are just saying what they think they're supposed to say, but they're setting many men up for failure.
Here's the truth. When a woman loves a man, she's ok with him showing emotions to some degree. But outside of an established loving relationship, men showing emotions will always be off putting to women.
No. Not the women who are worth it, anyway. Any woman who tries to shame your NATURAL responses to things, doesn't like you for you, anyway. And isn't the right girl for you.
Most
Probably. My friend had prostate cancer and after that happened, his wife complained to me that he wasn't as manly as he used to be. I guess I got my work cut out for me if I ever make it that far.
My opinion is that women (consciously) want men to show our emotional vulnerability, but it conflicts with their subconscious need for us never to show emotional weakness.
Just another way we've been set up in a lose-lose situation
Never listen to what a woman says, instead watch how she acts. Women are repulsed by emotional men.
Depends. Encouraging with positive emotions is one thing being a whiny bitch another.
Men are human as well, so it is very normal to show emotions
Friends
no they're not lying. they are just thinking of particular emotions as they say that. a man having a nervous breakdown and depression upon losing a job will still make them leave.
She will lose all respect for a guy and will remember and weaponize it against you.
Why do so many men have the experience of emotionally opening up and crying around their SO and then the girl pulls away? Are we all lying?
Truth
The only emotion I don't like them to express is anger. I admire men who can remain calm during tough situations.
Women find it hot as hell when you blow up in their face. Only the first time though... after that, you're gonna wanna calm down
It is normal to show emotions. No woman wants an emotionless robot. The problem is men are either brainwashed or too stupid to realize it.
😂 lol
I mean, if you think I’m lying that’s fine. I don’t have the energy to prove you wrong. I rather let you figure it out on your own 🤷♀️
Yes they do, that’s nice of them but man never believe a woman
yes, ask a woman if a guy has cried in front of her and if she says yes then ask if she’s still with him, they never are 😂
I can only speak for myself but no I love a man who wears his heart on his sleeve warts n all
One in 7 billion
You ain't human if you dont Express your emotions holding onto them can bring serious health problems it's ok to cry or hit a table or whatever let your emotions out
Alone
The society that hates it is male society women don’t care and more often than not are comforted or more into you because of it
Right
Remember never listen to what women say. The only truth are the actions
They aren't lying, they are just wrong.
Girls don’t want bitches. They want a strong guy
🙌 finally truth
Yeah. They do.
Are you referring to all women or some?
All women lie
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