Why do girls say they want a nice guy and then when she lands a nice guy she treats him like shit?

[Finchie40]

Stays loyal to her , does things for her, treats her the way he wants to be treated and she turns around and just treats him like total shit , so he eventually walks away from her and ends it with her or cheats on her and she acts like how dare he cheat on me? Ummmm I honestly don’t blame him you are a major bitch , I laugh at Girls that sit here and act like a victim when clearly they are the one that treated him like shit , Good for him for meeting someone that actually values him and getting away from your crazy ass so instead she latches onto a bad boy that cheats on her left and right , so I’m sorry most you girls dig your own grave

[Anonymous]

You’re absolutely right, there are women who will take advantage of a nice guy or just flat out not appreciate him. But I also believe that choosing the right woman is an important aspect as well. Knowing yourself is knowing what sort of woman you’re looking for, what sort of qualities she should have and being a good judge of character.


Being a nice guy or even a good girl doesn’t guarantee the person you pick is going to appreciate it and for all you know they can be a complete nightmare. All you can do is try to pick the right person and if they’re wrong, then figure out what it was that made them a bad match and be sure the next woman isn’t bringing that negativity to the table. I can tell that you’re frustrated and probably dealt with a bad woman. Don’t let those experiences wear you down or shape your views on women, though. You want to be able to give someone else a clean slate and not baggage from someone else. I went through a lot while trying to find a partner, being the best woman I could be and it was sooo much trial and error. Now that I’ve found a good person, I almost wish I could’ve forgone all that drama and met him straight away. But that’s not how my journey was meant to go, and clearly yours either. It may be cliche but try to be optimistic, I do believe the right woman is out there, if you genuinely are a good guy.

[Finchie40]

I had my fair share of relationships and I know I am far from perfect , but when I commit to a girl that gives me her heart like I give her mine I am in it for the long haul , and hoping she is as well , I put myself in her shoes like i expect her to do for me it’s not always perfect but I am the type to fix it instead of just looking for someone else to save me , we set boundaries together and I stand by those boundaries out of respect for our relationship, but it’s like she eventually doesn’t it becomes her way or no way and All of a sudden I am a piece of shit to her , no matter what I do to try to save our relationship it’s never good enough , she eventually compares me to other guys starts withholding intimacy and affection from me , starts treating me like I am this walking punching bag to the point I have no choice but to walk away , so the only way I could ever commit to a girl is if she knows how to remove selfishness in a relationship, when she knows how to make me a priority like I do to her and sadly most girls can’t do that for long , I just want to feel wanted and respected the same way I want to make her feel , I want a girl that brings happiness into my life , not misery, When I start to feel like a constant punching bag and feel like she is taking me for granted , I tell her if her selfishness doesn’t stop this relationship is coming to an end , she wants me to accept her flaws but she can’t accept mine , no matter what happens it’s always my fault , she never wears my shoes like I wear hers, She does in the beginning but once she keeps getting her way she gets worse , so yes I am emotionally exhausted from giving my heart to a girl that just wants to eventually shit on it

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely understand where you’re coming from, and I know you aren’t asking for any sympathy but I am sorry to hear you’ve gone through that.

I’m not sure if that’s one situation or several, but in the future if you decide to date again, I’d advise not even letting the relationship get to the point where she’s mistreating you on all those levels. You already have a very clear idea of what you want in a relationship, as well as what’s acceptable and what is not. So aside from setting mutual boundaries, be sure to stick firmly to the ones you set for yourself. She needs to be practical, empathetic and able to express herself without being volatile, mentally abusive or weaponizing things that matter to you, like intimacy and affection.

It’s unfortunate that you’ve had to deal with women (or a woman) who behaves that way, that would traumatize anyone. I do hope after all that, you find what you’re looking for.

[Finchie40]

Thank you , and I am not giving up , I am just trying to play my cards right this time around that’s all , I am not expecting her to be perfect. Just a girl that knows what it means to be committed that’s all , someone that wants to bring peace into my life , not misery

[Opinion Owner]

She’s out there, and I genuinely hope you find her sooner rather than later, you seem like a kind man. Wishing you luck in your next relationship☺️

[jennifer_bloom]

I would say girls want a nice guy with status and boundaries. If he is only nice but no status and no boundaries, he is easy to her but not important to her. And you don’t have to be a billionaire to have status if you operate by moral standards she respects. I’ve liked guys that were neither good looking nor wealthy because they held themselves to a high moral standard that I could respect.

[Sunssong]

What does status mean?

[jennifer_bloom]

@Sunssong the guy I liked would go out of his way to help strangers on the bus, wore cultural clothing to show his pride, praise his parents on Facebook, volunteer at church, say positive things that encourage others and lift them up, hug his sisters who were old enough to be his mother and not girlfriends, and looked like he was high on crystal meth from joy when he worshipped God.

[Finchie40]

I hate talking about myself but I am that guy , I have morals and values , am I perfect? No I am not , but do I treat a girl the same way I want to be treated Yes , do I have flaws? Yes , I like to drink beer on a Friday night talking to my brother that I don’t get to see often so if that makes me a bad person I am sorry , I don’t go out to bars and clubs , I don’t choose my friends over my partner , I include her in everything , I didn’t commit to her to be single , I don’t tell her what she needs to wear , I don’t mind if she farts , I dont mind if she snores, I am laid back that way , it’s life we are human , I attract girls that love my personality that love how I love to smile , she will come In and take my heart and set boundaries with me , I am all about it , cuz I put myself in her shoes , but she eventually can’t do that for me , she makes everyone else her priority , starts treating me like i don’t have feelings , treats me like I don’t matter anymore , starts saying she wants a man that is a leader and that feeds off of EGO so she starts taking me for granted , wants me to do things for her but she can’t do the same in return , starts comparing me to other guys making me feel like I am not good enough , criticizes me and belittles me that I need to be a better man , Without pointing fingers at herself , it’s her way or no way , starts withholding intimacy and affection from me like I have to earn it from her When other girls flirt with me I tell them I am sorry but I am already taken but thank you for noticing me I am very flattered sometimes I feel maybe I should take the other girl up on her offer but again i don’t , cuz I wouldn’t want my partner doing that to me , so yes I constantly feel taken for granted and then I start to give it right back to her and tell her if she isn’t happy in this relationship then she needs to go and find a guy that doesn’t want her by his side , So finding a girl that knows how to remove selfishness

[Finchie40]

And bring peace into my life has been hard to come by

[jennifer_bloom]

If this does not work out, do your best and have faith, and your chances of eventually finding a good match will be fairly high

[Chazmatazz269]

Because too many men can’t find the line between kindness and weakness. If you don’t stand up for yourself, all kinds of people will take advantage of you. It’s more common for women to take advantage of men in this way because boys are taught to put girls on a pedestal from a very young age, and almost never taught to put themselves on a pedestal. This indoctrinates into servitude for women. I don’t care who you think you are, if someone consistently places themselves beneath you, you WILL eventually treat them like they are beneath you. Have some self respect. Stop putting women on pedestals. Expect to be treated with respect and respectful women will reveal themselves. Make yourself a doormat and only the users will be attracted to you.
You can be kind without being weak. You can be strong and assertive without being a dick.

[Leopard23]

Because they don't. Women don't know what they want. They can't respect a nice guy znd just treat him like he's their father.

[NathanDavis]

you get what you give... they say