Why do girls do things like this and why don’t men notice?

[izzie_morris]

Hey everyone, I really need to talk about this and maybe get some emotional support or opinions. This was over a week ago now, but it’s still playing on my mind and upsetting me. My boyfriend and I were on our first holiday together and we went to Israel. At one point we went into a café and my boyfriend was ordering our coffees and snacks for us. The woman taking our order was really pretty, and slowly I started to notice the way she was acting. She was gazing into my boyfriends eyes and doing a really really obviously flirty face, and smiling at him so much and saying all these flirty little jokes and laughing in a way that seemed so performative. I could see him trying to stay composed cause obviously I was standing right there, but she was being sooo intense it was hard for him to act normal, especially as she was really pretty. He was smiling along with her and I was so confused at how she could just be doing all of this in front of me who was obviously his girlfriend. Then when she looked away for a second he gave me a face like he was really confused about her behaviour and I gave him the same look back. I think she saw, because then she turned back around and told me “hahahaha we’re just friends” pointing at my boyfriend. I was so confused… it’s like what do you mean? Obviously you’re just friends you don’t even know him. It was really weird. He just laughed and went “yeah just friends”. But she was still giving him that flirty look and I felt so angry inside but there was nothing I could do. Things like this make me feel sick and makes me not trust girls at all… she made me feel invisible doing that right in front of my face. I was so upset after and angry at the woman, and my boyfriend couldn’t understand why because deep down he was obviously flattered by the whole thing, which just made me feel worse. How can I handle situations like this? I don’t think I’m an overly jealous person but this made me just want to run away.

[YourMamma]

I think it’s quite natural to feel a bit upset about that kind of thing. I think it’s just that girls tend to over think things like this whereas with men the moment has gone and he prob hasn’t thought about it since. Yes he was likely flattered that this girl showed him attention but who did he go home with? You! That’s what you need to try and remind yourself. Think of it like this…you must sometimes notice other men that you find attractive yes?…you might glance at them and acknowledge that they are hot or whatever?…But then what happens? You look away and likely never even give a moments thought about them ever again.. because they don’t mean anything to you. That’s what your boyfriend has likely done in this situation but with the added flattery of having some attention given his way. You may think she was pretty but he may not…even if she was pretty she might not be a nice person or she could be weird or whatever. Looks may be what you notice first about someone but it’s not what holds interest long term. Try to remember all of this and just be happy that you are actually with him not her. by the way I do think it’s out of order for her to be so blatantly coming on to him right in front of you I would def feel quite put out about that myself so don’t beat yourself up about that!

[izzie_morris]

Awww thank you so much for your help💓 everything you said is so true, I guess it was just a moment but it doesn’t really mean anything long term. I really appreciate it :)

[Guanfei]

She tried her luck on him, but seeing it didn't work, she just tried to pass it off as something friendly.
Of course your boyfriend was flattered, he was shown interest, complimented, flirted with. Who wouldn't feel good by feeling desired? Yet that was only that, feeling good.
For him, she tried, and he refused, and that was the end of it. Men are simple creatures. When it's over, it's over.
You, on the other hand, felt another woman roaming on your hunting ground, a competitor, and your boyfriend didn't throw her away, as you wanted him to. It wasn't over for you, when it was for him.
She made you feel invisible, and your boyfriend, in turn, made her invisible by showing he wasn't interested.

[izzie_morris]

Hi!! You wrote that so perfectly, thank you. I guess it’s true in the end she was the invisible one which makes me feel better😅. You’re exactly right, I couldn’t just forget about it after she basically made me feel threatened in my relationship. Thank you so so much ❤️

[Anonymous]

Men usually don't get compliments/ or flirted with women they aren't in a relationship with, so of course he was flattered.

As for the girl, it was a rude thing for her to do. And very unprofessional. Why did she do it? Because women are people and some people are assholes.

[izzie_morris]

Thank you so much, that’s really a rational way of looking at it. Yeah some people really are assholes🙄.

[MackBoy]

Girls are already attractive to men and they get excited , so if a girl from nowhere is going to friendly with him, he will definitely be excited the way the woman is treating him and he finds it difficult to cope even when you are there. just have patience and don't get jealous. you know for example even if you are my girlfriend and a another beautiful girlfriend be friendly and talk with me in front of you, she will make me very excited and I will find it very difficult to cope with her even during your presence. it doesn't affect all men, only a very few. be careful if he finds her beautiful than you, he might leave you and associate with her. when I see a person like that, i won't be conscious of what I am doing due to excitement. so that is why your boyfriend is like that. it didn't happen to me but I am telling how I am feeling thinking of this. next time you act like you are very sick and get his attention or do something to get his attention.

[Anonymous]

You sure she wasn’t trying to get a bigger tip the way women play men by acting like they like them?

[izzie_morris]

I didn’t think of that, I guess it’s possible right 😅 thank you

[Opinion Owner]

Yes very possible because most women know the man usually pays the bill and if they have enough experience and they’re cute they know that men will stupidly give her a bigger tip cause she’s cute. I know I do which is fucking stupid but it tends to work most of the time.

[Dhi99]

She was weird. How old is your boyfriend?

Next time don't go there.

Go to Jordan

[izzie_morris]

He’s 24, she looked like she was around the same and I’m 20. I loved Israel though but there was a huge terrorist attack right outside our hotel

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Lol. A fucking terrorist attack. Tourists are funny

[Nahid1707]

Hi
So do you like him?

[noohair]

Try acting like an adult?