Having slept with +30 guys and a few girls (+/-10) at 19yo make me a slut?

[KatishaIvanova]

Im asking because many men run out from me and my bed as soon as they hear the numbers they wanted to know before. Im struggling in finding someone while some of my friends have formal relationships. The total numbers are not that extravagant as they hear if you make the yearly average (7.5). Is there something that i can do? Should i lie and make that number sound "respectable"?

[Pegases]

If you treat yourself like you're disposable, why would you expect men to treat any better? In a nutshell, you can't be a slut for too long without devaluing yourself because you're not sleeping with high quality men, you're sleeping with men that don't care about you, dont call you back unless they want to have sex with you, dont care about your well being, and wouldn't bat an eye if they found out you died. You're just a body to have sex with, which is why they walk when they find out how many people you've slept with. Truth is, a lot of men will have sex with anyone, because we have impulses that many of us are not in control of. And men that lack self control, are low value men. But what interesting is that even low value men can often distinguish between sluts, and women worth taking seriously. All men naturally place higher value on women that aren't easily to everyone. So if you want men to care about you beyond sex, you'll need to act like you're worth more than sex. You're entitled to be whatever kind of woman you want to be, but youve gotta realize that we tend to be very logical, and will naturally treat women that act like sluts, like sluts. The key to being respected by men, is that you've gotta first respect yourself. Everything in this world that is easy to get, is priced cheaper. Higher priced items are always harder to get. People are no different.

[ImHere22]

You’re only a slut if you let the people talking shi* get to you. Also, if your number is freaking people out, then start giving a different number. Or keep using your real one, because honestly, when you get a little older than 19, you’ll meet people who have much higher numbers and you’ll meet a ton of people who don’t care

[Gentleman900]

"Slut" is a degrading term that I don't like to use. What you give to this world you can't take back. What you give to these men and women you can't take back either. Most men and women lie about their body count so don't feel entirely bad, Quite frankly most men under here and the 2 opinions from women probably have a high body count too lol. I would say to stop. At 19, this is a lot of men that you slept with, to be honest. Think about your health though. STIs and STDs are nothing to joke around with.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Why don't you just lie like most chicks do? You wouldn't fool me because I pretty much know you're all sluts. A dude is considered "lucky" if he has 1/3rd of your body count by the same age. You though just do it because there is no challenge there or struggle to get to that number... all you have to do is say yes, and DJ Khaled says "another one."

[wallyworld12]

Haha someone has been been busy. Your stamina must be amazing. You have a man for every day of the week? 😂 I mean good for you.. love and be loved. You lose what you don't use. Everyone gets a turn. Some say Sharing is caring. Someone has a big appetite. Enjoy 😝

[EricSummer]

Yes, please make up a number or say that you can count your partners on your fingers without taking off your shoes.

The question for the number of prior sex partners is rude and inappropriate so it does not deserve an honest answer. It can be useful to know the longest relationship so far. I think that's a sensible question, but not the number of partners.

[Juxtapose]

Why don't you just stay up front that you don't want to answer instead of being a fucking liar?

[EricSummer]

Ah yes, that would be better. You could dodge the question by giving partial information: "Since I moved to Cleveland three years ago I had only that one boyfriend I broke up with a year ago. I settled down a bit compared to when I lived in Chicago." This could be honest.
Now, if the guy insists on a precise number he's a jerk and loses a lot of points in the dating game.
I agree with you that it is better to avoid an outright lie.

[EricSummer]

@Juxtapose - A more elegant way would be to count only partners you were emotionally attached to. This is great, because these are the ones you may want to refer to later when talking about your past (e. g. once I was close to getting married). You can discount any casual encounters. Obviously, a woman would also leave out any cases of sexual abuse, so the definition always matters. This is now my final answer.

[Juxtapose]

Now you want to lie by omission. Why are you so okay with lying? I fucking hate liars.

[Juxtapose]

If I ask someone a question I expect either the truth or for them to tell me it's none of my business. Lying to me is evil.

[EricSummer]

@Juxtapose - Oh dear, mate! I saw your own answer to the original question only now, complete with insults against the asker.
Lying is not pretty, but remains part of the toolkit of living together as social beings.
I regret having tried to please you with a more considerate answer.

[Juxtapose]

You are being disingenuous. I straight up told her that being a slut is not necessarily a bad thing, you view that as a bad thing because of your own societal misconceptions.

I am autistic, that has gifted me with the ability to see that lying is an inferior mode of communication that should be largely left to politicians and lawyers. And every day interactions, people should strive to be very direct and honest, regardless of any cultural norms.

[Juxtapose]

*In everyday interactions,

[Juxtapose]

Tell me how a roundabout way of communicating is supposedly superior to a direct way of communicating.

[Juxtapose]

Especially if your mode of communication leaves out crucial details or gives out straight up falsehoods.

[EricSummer]

It will often deliver superior results. In the example at hand an insecure man might doubt if he can please a woman who has such a rich experience. For his own good it is better to think she has slept with a smaller number or maybe a similar number like himself. It's a "white lie" as the person who is being lied to also benefits.
If she refuses the question outright he may feel even more puzzled and may miss a chance at some rewarding dating experience.

[Juxtapose]

Or maybe she should date men who don't have that ridiculous insecurity? How are these men supposed to know any better when they are not exposed to the truth?

I used to have insecurities with high body count women but upon talking to them and getting to know them in an honest way, I changed my mind. It helped me realize how illogical I was being.

Save your lying for when the cop asks if you have weed on you, don't bring that into discussions with regular people.

[EricSummer]

How come you are writing sensible things now that I can even relate to when your own answer is so poor, especially in style?
The difficulty from my point of view is that a high body count would scare away just the men who could otherwise be suitable partners. That would be a shame.
Anyway, I would always let the other reveal their body count first if they want to know mine. Potentially, the truth is then acceptable. It's all relative.

[Juxtapose]

Because I don't give a shit about style, I give a shit about the truth.

Men who cannot face things logically or not suitable partners. If you have to lie to someone to trick them into being with you then you need to reevaluate your priorities.

Personally I would not want to be with someone who had such conditional allowances for telling the truth. You either take me seriously enough as an adult to be real with me or you don't. It really is that simple.

[Juxtapose]

*are not suitable partners

[slatyb]

Don't even think about this. Have sex with whoever you want, as often as you want, just be careful to avoid unwanted consequences (STDs and pregnancy). Maybe read "The Ethical Slut" (https://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut) and stop worrying about what other people think. In my experience, in the city no one cares.

[LiamJHayden]

I have never asked anyone and never been asked, in real life, about body count. Maybe just don't reveal it.

[KatishaIvanova]

But what if they ask? I mean, its actually them making the question, not me advertising my numbers

[Shamalien]

Indeed. Does one lie about their past to their possible future partner, the most important person in their life, a relationship in which trust is everything? When asked a direct question, no less?

[Pohjolan]

You can't even remember your body count at 19 and have slept with more gals than most guys ever will...

If that doesn't count as slutty I don't know what does.

Don't lie about it. You have made your bed and now have to sleep in it.

But don't worry. If you are not a single mom or have STD:s then no permanent damage has been done yet.

You can just move to some other city/state/country where you are just a newcomer and start anew.

[nawtee_me]

Doesn't make you a slut but it does make you experienced. That may be what is running guys off. You probably know more than they do... That is not a bad thing though. If you know what you like then you can help a guy that really wants to please you in bed.

[AviatorTom]

The Oxford Dictionary would be proud to add you under its definition of "slut"

[lightbulb27]

and you want what? probably have to fine someone with similar values and experiences.

[Levin]

I wouldn't call you a slut, but that would be a deal breaker for me tbh.

[Juxtapose]

You've probably fucked more people in a few years than I will ever fuck in my entire life.

Yes, you're a huge slut. That isn't necessarily a bad thing though

[Anonymous]

Let me put it this way. 😆😆😆

https://www.youtube.com/embed/68CyErWwL6A

[Friendlybro79]

What you think matters way more than we do.

[najekim]

Nope. I'd say adventurous. Personally, I'd say to answer "a few of both" and leave it at that.

[OddBeMe]

It’s a lot. But slut is just a label like “chick” or “girl”. So I wouldn’t worry about it. Do what feels good and right.

[art84]

Lower the number though not really surprised at girls having more sex at an early age now.

[riverrat3]

Nope, just a fun loving lady

[LazerBean]

Certainly.

[MementoMori777]

Yea.

[MementoMori777]

And no

[Danny_dan92]

Fuck yeah

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Yes it does.

[Anonymous]

Of course