If the gap/wait is too long because you tell the guy you’re busy with work, is it because you are truly busy with work or you don’t like him and using an idea of a second date because you’re just bored.
Girls, Realistically, even with busy schedules, if a first date went well with a guy how much time til the second date?
What Girls Said
So depends on a lot of things really. Usually first dates for me were on a weekend when I had the most time available. Some second dates were a week later on the weekend again because I was busy and so were they. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing a quick meet up during the week if you can squeeze it in. I have done that before where we agreed to meet up for a lunch. It isn't ideal because of time shortage but does give you a little chance to see the person midweek.
So here’s the thing I posted a question last Thursday about a first date with a girl I’ve known for 9 months and it went well in my opinion, she enjoyed it and thanked me for the gift I gave. But after 2 days later I asked her if she wants to do a second meet up or not; she’s chatted with me since then but hasn’t answered the question. Not sure what I should do.
You answered that question from last week by the way just figured to keep u in the loop on things
Hmm so I would wait maybe another day or two and just say hey I have Saturday and Sunday open if you wanna get together. If she ignores that again then there is something going on. As of now though I wouldn't be too worried. If she had a good time and you are still talking to each other that is a good thing. If she wasn't going to entertain another date I think she would have not wanted to chat.
She has strict parents so it’s tough for her to do things on weekends. I met her after work on Thursday. I like this girl but honestly I’m not sure if I’m just another fish in the pond. I’m a loyal guy who will put in effort, and creativity for dates. And I’m getting older and my mom wants me to get married. My mom told me there’s another girl from New York, she’s pretty, she’s a lawyer, her father is a doctor would you consider it? I would entertain the idea but with this girl I’ve known for 9 months we met for the first time since we started chatting in February 2023. Mind you, she added me on Instagram I didn’t add her back in Feb 2023. Yeah a lot has happened since then I was busy with school and volunteering, she had work and was travelling so finally we met last wk. But I have been so vulnerable with girls to care for them, give them space, pay for dinners, not act weird, heck I didn’t even hug her or shake her hand, I wanted to be respectful and I told her that but I still said she looks beautiful. I’ve been hurt by girls in the past so in my mind I’m thinking is the outcome going to be the same with this girl as well.
That is tough when you have had rough experiences in the past. The issue is that it isn't fair to automatically assume that she will be the same. Now you mention strict parents and being busy and so on. You really need to sit and think about what your goals are (marriage etc) and realistically if this can work with this girl. Are the strict parents always going to be an issue? Now that she is not traveling and you have some time is it worth giving it a shot in the short term to see if it could work?
Thing is i plan to work 2 jobs and I’m doing it to pay off my debts, save money and invest. And any girl who is a good girl not some gold digger (not saying she is) but should respect a guy working hard. I would make time for her. But I talked to my mom about it and the strictness comes from religion. But her and I are the same religion and we live in the same community. It’s possible my mom and her mom have crossed paths so my mom asked me do you want me to talk to her mom to try and mend something, my mom said maybe this girl is scared, I don’t know 🤷🏻♂️ but I’m the kind of guy where I don’t want a girl to worry that I’ll cheat or dump way too many responsibilities where she freaks out and loses it. Part of my job as a guy is to also cook and clean, to help provide financially. Soooo I don’t know 🤷🏻♂️ as a guy I don’t know what else to do. Because women and girls go based off different emotions. She talks about how Henry Cavil is her ideal man because he’s soo hunky. Well I’m a 5’8, 155 Pnd guy with an athletic build. I don’t know if she’s physically turned off by me but considers me to be a funny, caring, sweet guy. If she’s looking for some 6’4 guy that can lift a tree over his head I’m not that guy. Few nights ago she was talking about she wants to feel protected with a guy but it was a vague statement because I don’t know if that was directed to me or in general. When girls say protected I would assume most females want a tall/muscular man or guy. But if that’s the case she should be honest and say this is what I want. I don’t know I’ve been hurt before and if this doesn’t work out I don’t see myself trying to pursue girls for a long time or ever again.
we went from first date to together all the time
I’m conveying your answer that you eventually became a couple. But what I’m asking is when you had your first date with a guy how long was it until you had a second date with him? A few days later, few weeks later, few months later (which seems fairly long).
well i guess breakfast the next morning would have been the second date 🤷♀️
Oh man; well that’s that; she doesn’t like me then and again, another girl is taking advantage of my good heart, I’m done with girls now, I’ve tried for 20 years with so many girls. Tired of trying.