Do men do a better job at not assuming other men think/judge the same way they do or are women better at realizing this difference among women?

[Anonymous]

For the most part I care to do right by people including women. That’s not to say I haven’t ever done and said things I regretted. That doesn’t I might have a few personality quirks that women don’t appreciate. But I do know I’ve overall try to do right.

But I also know there are some true POS guys out there. Abusive and violent men. Sociopaths. Psychopaths. I know damn well not every guy would react to a situation as thoughtfully as I would.

However find myself often initially give the other guy the benefit of doubt when I hear an abuse or sexual assault story from a woman. I will however convict the guy mentally if there is actual hard evidence to prove he really did something.

But while just hearing some woman’s verbal testimony I often find myself thinking “what if tha was me” she was accusing? I know I would never in my life do anything like the abuse stories we hear about men harming women. However if I don’t know the accused guy well I often keep asking questions about the incident to gather more info. I want to see if the woman is changing her story or leaving out crucial details (e. g. a woman claims a man hit her. But did she hit him first?).

But again it’s very naive to assume another guy would react and behave the same way I would in a situation. I never rule out he might be a truly violent abusive POS.

But do women second guess other women while hearing abuse claims? When they hear stories is there ever any doubt in their minds about the other woman is saying?

I bet some think twice about it. But from my observations women often immediately imagine themselves being the in the place of the victim in the verbal abuse story. Not all but they seem persuaded very quickly and take the other woman’s story at face value. Sometimes is the complete truth but not always. But are women able to imagine the possibility that the other woman might be malicious and a liar?

Men know better that not all men think and judge the same way they do

Women know better that not all women think and judge the same way they do

[Anonymous]

It's easy for people to have an emotional response when they think about a woman being assaulted.

Instead of having an emotional response, I don't say the guy is guilty, I don't say the girl is lying, I just let things play out and wait to see what evidence does or doesn't come out.

[Asker]

Yeah I am the same way. But do as many men come rushing to the men’s defense vs. how many women that automatically believe her story at face value? That’s the difference I am talking about.

[Opinion Owner]

I think the majority of men and women immediately side with the women. This is why so many men have had and continue to have their reputation ruined due to false allegations against them.

It doesn't see like many men come rushing to the man's defense.

[Asker]

That’s how it used to be for how most men judge other men. That included me many years ago.

But #metoo got so abused by scum of earth women I am starting to think a lot of people particularly men have reversed their initial reactions. We quickly suspect it could be an exaggeration or an outright lie.

But there is a danger of automatically believing the woman is lying too. That’s why I look for hard evidence.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, possibly...

I agree. I don't think immediately assuming she's lying is any better. We have to find the balance between supporting victims and respectful skepticism.

[Asker]

Sadly #metoo might of have ultimately made everything worse for real victims.

One thing is for sure. There needs to be MUCH harsher legal punishment for accusers lie about that bs. Malicious accusations are hard to prove but there have been a few air tight examples lately.

At worst these women might get sued and/or briefly get bad publicity (considering even if their identities are made public). That has to STOP and those women need to be locked up for the same prison sentence the falsely accused was facing.

But the legal systems are hesitant to make that change. They are paranoid it will make real victims hesitate to come forward. But there is an old saying that “it’s better to let 10 guilty men go free rather than convict one innocent man”. But some people don’t believe that nowadays.