I am struggling with a very low self-esteem. To say it directly, I consider myself very unattractive. I am 24 but compared to other women I look like a child. It's ridiculous that 16 year old girls look older than me. I can't stand looking at my face and nothing really seems to work for me. For example, no matter what I do with my hair or how much money I spend on it, it will never look luscious and shiny. It will always be frizzy and thin and get greasy often. Another example is that even if I try doing makeup it still won't change my bone structure. It won't get rid of my assymmetry. I spend money on clothes but at the end I will always be a short woman whom no one takes seriously.
I am just tired of seeing myself and the girls around me. All of them look impeccable. Great hair, pretty face, tall, awesome figure. I am skinny but I also have no ass and no boobs. I am literally so invisible to guys. Obviously, I have never been in a relationship and I'm not sure if I will ever even experience intimacy and sex. Everyone nowadays is so loud when it comes to their sexual preferences and experiences and I feel so alienated. I feel extremely unlovable and if no guy has ever tried to get to know me at this point, will any guy ever will? I take care of my hygiene and all of that but it will never change the fact that, as a woman, I failed the genetic lottery. I will always be inferior to every other woman. And this thinking that I have implemented in my brain affects my personality a lot too. I have a big problem looking into people's eyes, raising my voice and feeling confident in how I move and talk. I am very awkward. So many women around me and on social media overflow with self-love and confidence and some have pretty high standards for men. I can't imagine what it's like to have such a mindset.
How did you girls get to a place of self-love and confidence? How can I become a more confident woman? How can I even attract guys? Any advice will be appreciated.
What Girls Said
The first thing you have to do is come to terms with who you are. You clearly don't love who you are and if you can't do that there is nothing I can suggest that is going to fix confidence problems. I say this because you are doing the right things and the same things I would do. When I feel boring I go shopping for new clothes. Sounds stupid but a new look does a lot to change perception of myself. I would recommend going to a place like Sephora and having an expert take a look at makeup for you. Go to a salon and have someone suggest a new style for your hair. That is what these people do for a living. However none of that is going to change a thing unless you can look yourself in the mirror and learn to love who you are. Look at all the good qualities that you have instead of beating yourself up over the other things that you can maybe change.
Self-esteem is a very broad topic. Would be good to know why you feel this way. Would be good to solve other problems. If you can, seek a professional counseling.
I don't see myself as attractive too. But it doesn't stop me from keeping nice interactions.
I have a good base in other areas. I have a good occupation, good income, I'm independent, two degrees. I already proved myself my worth.
And believe me... my hair is untamed and I can do nothing about it :P
Remember. Girl is much more than just looks.
I mean for me I used to be really insecure about myself in my early teen ages and I actually hated myself, so when I started getting better, healthier, my behavior and many other things changed too with my looks. So did my self esteem raised up too