Was this ok to say to my friend?

[Anonymous]

I realised that I give mixed messages, because my social skills aren’t very good. I have Asperger’s. So Thursday night, I went out with a group of workmates. One of my friends hit on me. I was surprised and didn’t know how to handle it. So today I texted her, to say I think she’s very beautiful and nice, (she is); but I prefer men to women and that that won’t change. I said I’d like to be friends and I hope we can be. Was that ok? I just wanted to tell her and not lead her on or embarrass her online. Now I feel awkward. Guilty for being honest and afraid of losing her friendship. But I think it had to be said.

[DreamCrescent]

you did just fine. she got the message and nothing you said would embarrass her or should make you feel guilty




honestly, i strongly believe it’s 1000x easier to communicate with women than men, even as a heterosexual woman.

[Asker]

Oh, that’s good. I worried about losing her friendship, but I guess that’s beyond my control.

[Summeroflove]

It’s okay. Being honest is BEST, and you were respectful about it. I don’t think you said anything wrong, some people are butt hurt over rejection no matter how nice you are about it. But you’re right you aren’t leading her on

[Asker]

I’m just not gay. Not interested in her in that way.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah absolutely I get it. If a gay man approached me. It would be a very awkward situation since I just don’t swing that way. But I would do my best to be nice about it

[Summeroflove]

I think you did the right thing

[Asker]

Thanks 😊

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome

[Asker]

I think she’s upset; but I currently like this other guy.

[Summeroflove]

Well. She will get over it. If you like him see if he will meet for coffee

[Asker]

He sort of keeps coming back, but said years ago and implied recently that he can’t cope with a relationship. Being autistic. Yet he keeps trying to make me jealous with a fake girlfriend.

[Summeroflove]

Asker yeah that’s a bit weird. I would move on from him. If he likes you, he knows you were into him and the balls in his court. People who are like that aren’t worth your time. Especially if you have a fake girlfriend that’s odd

[Asker]

What do you figure he wants?

[Summeroflove]

Asker it’s really hard to say. Maybe he doesn’t even know what he wants. But I can provide some ideas as to maybe why

[Summeroflove]

One thing could be is he’s playing games. Narcissists do this a lot. They enjoy hurting and rejecting people. But they need narcissistic supply. So they’ll keep you around. That way if they need someone alter on and they also like attention. They don’t want you to forget them

[Summeroflove]

But. He may not be narcissistic at all. He could have sone sort of mental thing going on. Whether he really believes he has a fake girlfriend or hee making it up. He may have something going on inside of his head.

How does he try to make you jealous and how do you know it’s fake?

[Asker]

He told me he’s not seeing anyone.

[Summeroflove]

Asker. So how does he have a fake girlfriend then?

[Summeroflove]

And how’s he trying to make you jealous? Is he saying he has a girlfriend and then admitting he does not?

[Asker]

Yes he is

[Summeroflove]

It’s odd behavior. I think maybe mentally he’s going through something

[BadApple69]

That was perfect. Honesty is best in that situation.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think that was handled perfectly