I understand what she is going through and she is probably mourning in her own way. Yes she has been wronged in so many ways. Yet I feel that she is going through this process that all men are bad. Not all men are bad so is there anyway to help a girl who lumps all men in one bucket?
Well unless she was a victim of legitimate sexual assault (the real physical deal) then chances are she’s just a wokester crybaby modern feminist who sees victimhood as merit. Sure she prorbably say mean and creepy things to her over the years. Sure she had a bad boy or two break her heart. But in those scenarios aren’t criminal. Not saying they are okay but most people get mistreated in their lives by the opposite gender at some point.
Anyway it’s obvious you are attracted to this girl. Her talking to you is giving you hope. Just hearing her voice subconscious gives you hope that a sexual relationship is possible. Also I think part of you enjoys the “challenge” of trying to change her mind.
But if she was attracted to you she would not being complaining about men in general. At least not to the extent you described. Trust me. Women are much more conscientious about their behavior and word choice around men they like. She would be worried about turning you off and/or sending the wrong message.
So this means there is a 95% chance you are friendzoned and don’t think she will change her mind on that because she won’t. Ever. Even if you are the “lucky” 5% she will use you as a quick rebound to get herself grounded. Then she will get bored with your niceness and then quickly run off with some other asshole and repeat the entire process again.
If you are okay with above friéndzone arrangement/risk then suit yourself. But she’s just going to use you for free counseling and other unreciprocated favors. She will feel no guilt about it either because she feels like it’s “owed to her” by men. She believes that she can “settle the score” by wronging an innocent man to make up for what an unrelated asshole did to her.
So ask yourself why do you care? If you really want to help her via a platonic relationship? Don’t deny or hide your feelings if you have them. Nothing wrong with that. That’s what makes you a man. Never apologize for it.
Anyway I was one of those “nice guys” at your age and I can tell you beyond a resounding doubt it never worked out back then. This is with more then one woman too.
Remember to respect your own needs. That’s doesn’t mean you can’t be kind and patient. But you do not owe her anything just because other unrelated men mistreated her. It’s 100% not your job to go out of your way to “apologize” for what other men did either. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be kind to her. But don’t bend over backwards. Every man and woman is different and should be respected as so.
Anyway if I were you I would get out of this ASAP. It’s not going to end well for you. Trust me.
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. There are people I feel bad for but if someone assumes I’m bad based off something I can’t control, unfortunately I just leave them alone. I don’t really care to talk to them.
If you talk to her and build trust with her and she likes talking to you about things. Then that’s fine but she should also be getting professional help. But if she chooses to think all men are bad. Then unfortunately she’s becoming the monster she’s fighting. Even if she was genuinely wronged. You can’t help them
That’s very kind of you.
I haven’t read any answers yet.
Be mindful she’ll be triggered lots in situations you may find simple, that’s when u can choose or not to keep helping her through it. Also be aware Incase she uses it to manipulate you in case she’s on the other side of this.
Personally not the best for myself either and I’ve kept to myself and not seeked out guys to manipulate, I’ve laid low on my own doing my own thing. There’s different sides of a type of people that’s been manipulated and abused by their opposite gender.
Also be careful with your active intentions, could come across aggressive and trigger her. You’d be considered not safe to her no matter what you’d say.
I honestly think your best option is to contact some kind of free helpline and get and advice from specialists. A trauma like that is difficult to work through with the best intentions and knowledge but I know you can help her, you can prove it to her with your own actions... maybe not completely, but you can make a change.
Opinion
18Opinion
Because all men are bad. she's absolutely right. Men are selfish, they are liars and women are just a game to them… they only love you when you’re a bitch. Men love pain and they don’t care about the damage they cause you… they’re on to the next victim. All they want to do is hunch lol
She has to learn to get over it which is the hardest part! She needs to learn how to play the game and she needs to master detachment. Men are only resources … treat them as such.
call me sour grapes idc… men truly do suck
yes, your father and uncle included!
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. Ultimately you just have to do your best to be a good example of someone that is trustworthy and isn’t gonna back stab her…you have to demonstrate that you are different than those men who supposedly wronged her
You can’t “help”. Give her some space. And just be a shoulder to cry on.
It takes time to grieve and miss someone. But they’ll get over it. Can’t really “help”, cause it’s in their head. 🤷🏻♀️
You can’t. What she believes is her reality. So in all aspects of life she will only see things that just reinforce those thoughts. Because she can’t look beyond what she believes. She needs professional help. I’m sure there’s more to all this rooted deep down.
When it hits, when it happens, it does hard. I met my husband 15 years ago, as I convinced myself to swear off men. It just takes a good guy that catches us, connects with us, and shows us the others were boys.
u it is not up to you to "fix that"
if you try and insist... you're becoming part of the problem she has with men
You don't!
I understand man. As a man it's genetically encoded into you to be a problem solver to "rescue" a woman. But women KNOW that. And they will lay a trap for you knowing that. You're not Captain-save-a-hoe. All you can do is advise her. DO NOT get mixed up with her. She'll only pull you down into her sludge.
You can thank me later after she destroys another guys world.
if she honestly decides that, nothing but her finding common sense will help.
I never found a way. The choice to let go of the anger and heal needs to come from within her. I've tried to be a nice, genuine, kind person to women like that. At the end of the day, they move on when they are ready to move on.
help her find a good therapist and don't involve yourself too much or you will become part of her problem
One day she’ll meet a man who will prove her wrong. It’s up to her if she’s gonna allow him to change that for her.
Tell her the world already favors women over men. Tell her men are already demonized by society. Tell her she already has all of the power, benefits, rights and privileges. Tell her there’s no reason to hate men.
don't bother, just keep a distance and find a different frend.
You just have to be the example. Be a good man. Don't be a simp or too much of a nice guy but be an authentic man. Show her kindness and attention to detail and be consistent
Don't let her hate men saves them from having to deal with her
She'll learn the hard way to not hate half the population
TBH I think men and women who end up like that are not intelligent enough to help.
It's probably something she will have to work out on her own!
You can't help her she must choose to stop hating men for herself if it's what she wants to do.
You don't. That's her problem. You're the thing she hates, so it's not your role to fix it.
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