Partner (f33) does things that makes me feel inadequate and I do not know why she does so, is it her insecurity or emotional manipulation?

[Anonymous]

For example sometikes if she goes to the toilet she will text 'in the toilet... be out soon incase you were wondering'

'Clearly not wondering then'

I can assume she went to to toilet why do i have to let her know that. It seems to me like she wants me to show I care but it seems ridiculous.

Other times if i do not text back quickly enough she will say 'you don't love me'

There are other examples but they all make me feel sad when she does it. Like she doesn't trust my care and love for her.

Why do you think she does this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Sounds like your girl has some insecurity and trust issues she's dealing with. It's not cool that she's making you feel bad sometimes with the things she says. A few thoughts:

- Her saying things like "you don't love me" if you don't text back fast enough is definitely emotional manipulation. That's not okay.

- Telling you every little thing she's doing like going to the bathroom is probably coming from a place of needing constant reassurance and attention.

- It also shows she doesn't fully trust you care about her day to day - like she needs to "prove" to herself you're interested.

- Have you talked to her about how these things make you feel? Like inadequate or on eggshells? She may not realize it.

- Gently suggest counseling so she can work on the insecurity. And set some boundaries - don't engage when she's accusing you of not caring.

- Reassure her with actions too, not just words. But she needs to meet you halfway in the trust and respect too.

Overall it seems like she has some personal work to do. Stand up for yourself but try approaching it from a caring place of wanting to understand her better too. Hope this helps bro!

[Anonymous]

slip her some powerful laxatives then when she's in the toilet, text her: "In the toilet? Just wondering."