Why do women villanize passive aggressive fake nice guys more than guys that physically and verbally abuse them?

[Deserter2]

[Anonymous]

Many women treat genuine nice guys like complete shit too. But that’s another discussion.

Anyway abusive men often validate female insecurities and for them it’s better to have “the devil you know vs the devil you don’t.” They are more terrified of the unknown.

It is like how some women are genuinely are more afraid of a guy who “seems creepy” vs a man who has outright sexually harassed them or worse. Their imaginations torture them more then the real thing does even if their imagination can be misleading them.

It’s extremely f*cked up. It’s how some women went wild with false #metoo allegations years ago.

[genericname85]

women who prefer aggressive and verbally abusive men typically have self esteem issues. them believing "they don't deserve better" drives them into the arms of such men.

[genericname85]

and them then bashing nicer guys is typically cognitive dissonance.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Because the two are surprisingly well connected, so there isn’t much need to differentiate

[Deserter2]

One supports gay marriage and conserves nothing, the other does the opposite

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Is that your main differentiation? Their political opinions?

[Deserter2]

Is the main difference between political parties their political opinions? Gee I don't know

[Deserter2]

Oh wait this isn't the political post i made

[Deserter2]

The two aren't connected, it's two different groups of people. Even if they were connected why not focus on the actual abuse aspect?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It is connected by the abuse aspect. They’re both abusers, you just seem to be under the impression that abuse is limited to specific examples of physical and mental harm, not the smaller damages of manipulation and betrayal.

[Deserter2]

You're not understanding, why do women barely talk about the physical and verbal abuse? Why do they make passive aggressive behaviour out to be the worse crime?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Women do talk about it — to other women. It’s not that difficult to explain why abuse is bad. We talk more about manipulation because it’s harder to see and discern, we make sure to educate one another on the more intricate facets of it so we can learn to identify it sooner and save ourselves and other women a lot of trouble in spending time with these men that never see us as people to begin with.

[Deserter2]

That's a load of crap, why would you keep it a secret amongst yourselves? And if you know better why keep choosing them?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

We don’t, because abusers know they’re unwanted but also know how to choose an easy target that will be manipulated into choosing them. We don’t include men in the conversation because usually men are the abusers and we don’t need the enemy to know that we know their tactics when we come across them. This is not a universal knowledge and I don't know why you seem to think women want to be victims of something horrible, saying they choose it when those two types of men learn from each other same as a daughter learns from her mother

[Deserter2]

You do keep choosing them tho, stats prove this

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yes, manipulation keeps working because just as we know their tactics, they know how to tell when we will/won’t fall for it

[Deserter2]

Then you don't know their "tactics". If they hit you or verbally abuse you you leave, not stay, what is so hard to grasp here?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think you believe abusers introduce themselves by smacking a woman across the face and forcefully telling her she’s “their girlfriend now” with the way you speak about it. Now my question is, were that the case, do you believe any random woman is stupid enough to agree, or is it easier to comprehend that an abuser is smart enough to learn about a woman’s mental and physical weaknesses before exploiting them to his advantage?

[Deserter2]

I'm not saying they lead with that but it comes out eventually, this isn't rocket science. I think the truth is you women like it but that's not appropriate to say.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No it’s not appropriate because that willingly ignores a lot of points of views that don’t align with what you want to hear. I’m not sure why you want to believe that women want to be hurt or manipulated or abused against their will, I don’t know what started you on that path, I also don’t know why that anger and frustration with women being victims is present. But I think it’s fairly obvious we disagree and I’m tired of arguing in circles for no real reward or validation anymore. I hope you have a good day and find whatever it is you’re looking for from this question.

[Deserter2]

Explain why they do

[Serkee]

With blatantly abusive men they at least know what they're getting into, and to a lot of abuse victims it's familiar and comforting, in a twisted sort of way. They don't need to wait for the other shoe to drop with them.