Women, when ranting, do you want solutions, or just to be heard?

[ChicoFromThe305]

So according to what people say online on these trendy posts going around, when a woman comes to you ranting on a personal issue, it's said that they don't want to hear a solution, they just want to rant and be heard, personally I always simple mindedly just blur out solutions and now I'm confused on what the solution to this would be, do I give solutions or just use my ear holes?

Cause in the comments it seems like many women were agreeing and it makes me think that maybe I have been doing things wrong all along 🤔

[PeachyPie93]

Yes! Unless I say after my rant "what do you think I should do?" If I don't, then I just want to be listened to and maybe joke around about the situation. I learned from this guy I used to like that when I was talking about depressing things to him he always thought I was just bitching and whining and he thought I was telling him so he would give me advice. He eventually got mad at me because he said I was dumping all my baggage on him and not trying to fix anything. I honestly was just talking, not really thinking about what I was saying or that it effected him. Now I know to just keep that shit to my self and just keep a journal lol.

[madgoat]

We learn the difference eventually. But it really helps if you explicitly say you are just ranting. We can sit back and help you through it then.

[PeachyPie93]

@madgoat Yeah lol, I will probably still keep most things to myself tho.

[RingOfFire]

All women should have to carry around one of these two-sided paddle signs with a handle.

One side says "Just Ranting! Stop trying to solve the problem and listen!"

And the other side says:
"Don't just sit there and say nothing! I need a solution!"

[Account]

I rant very rarely to my friends and when I do I want them to guide me through what they think is the solution or to give me another perspective that I haven't thought of in order to take that into consideration.
I feel like it broadens my horizon when I hear about different perspectives and it helps me grow.

But when I feel like they can't do anything to help me I keep my mouth shut and I keep everything inside and I try to think things from a third person view alone.

[Account]

As for your actual question I think it varies from individual to individual and has nothing to do with gender. It also depends on the subject that they might be ranting about. When my friends come to me regardless of their gender to rant, I ask them either directly or indirectly , if they actually want to hear my view or if they want my support? It could also be both.
And it saves me many unnecessary future conflicts or the possibility that they might think that they feel unheard.
I hope this makes sense.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It does make sense and do you really ask them? Cause it just seems kinda weird to ask them that, like "do you want me to try and help or do you in just want me to listen? 😂

[Account]

I guess add weird to my personality traits too 👽

I think it is easier to be direct with people.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I shall, my brain in like a library with knowledge, I have a whole isle for you and I just added this to the collection 😂

I think direct is the best answer but tbh with people ranting I never felt like I had too, I always assumed when someone mentions their problems that they wouldn't mind hearing perspectives on solutions lol

[NathanDavis]

be ready with both...

but do listen first... do agree next

then use all of your intellect and wisdom, and emotional intelligence to sneak in a solution in the form of perspective, suggested...

[ChicoFromThe305]

Fair enough, good info 🤔

[NathanDavis]

prepare to get grilled either way... just some times

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lol fair enough

[worldscolide]

My wife wants to be heard. If she needs help she asks for it.

[poochigoochi]

when i rant, i want a safe space to be able to voice my thoughts without judgement. so more than getting solutions or just having someone there to hear me to nod and smile, i think it is more about actively engaging like "huh why did they do that?" "how can they do that" "wa no that is really bad", and then at the end of the rant, then the solutions and sharing can come like a "actually this happened to me before and i was so upset" or "maybe next time just ignore him..." etc

more like a gossip session without repercussions? it really is just a normal conversation but more heated...

[FarAway12]

I'm very much the type of person that needs to vent to get over something. I just want to be heard so it doesn't feel like I'm talking to myself or a wall. I would rant to my ex all the time and he used to be good at listening intently until towards the end of our relationship where he went from only picking up bits and pieces, telling me I talked too much, to hardly listening at all. I wouldn't be mad at solutions, of course, and I was always open to hearing them, but sometimes you don't always fully know the situation so your input may not be valid. The effort is appreciated, though.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Fair enough lol

[DishLady]

Someone "ranting" technically just wants to hear themselves talk and doesn't care about feelings or feedback from others at all; tone is heated, agitated, etc.

*Speaking* and sharing a problem with your loved one or close friend is an attempt to align the facts and seek out a solution either on one's own or with feedback from the person with whom the information is being shared.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Interesting 🤔

[TheRealPepperPotts]

My friend, you need to watch this. It will put everything into perspective.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/-4EDhdAHrOg

Also, this is why guys should not be their gal's therapist... :D

[HawkPerception]

LOL that video was one of my favourites. Watched it like 100 times on repeat a while back 😂

[Yoursweetgirl]

I want both. Like to be listened without interruptions and when I'm done talking, provide solutions.

I've met men who were like "but we provide solutions" and in reality they were interrupting me without hearing the whole story and sharing what was coming first to their mind, so that doesn't count as solution haha

[ChicoFromThe305]

That's true, fair enough 😂

[blueonblack22]

@Yoursweetgirl it’s because it takes men extra patience to listen to women. And there really are women who just want to be heard vs given resolutivo for their problems.

[kylee2437]

This! My boyfriend did this to me last week, and he came out of no where trying to predict what I was going to say next and he was completely wrong and it pissed me right off. Like do you know what’s going on in my mind, why are we having this convo right now? Stop talking and listen!

[blueonblack22]

Am i blocked?

[MailyMartinez]

for me both but it also just depends. but im not the type to like vent. but ranting on stuff i like or just being plain weird when ranting reply with like 💀. cuz i say random shit. I don't know if i made any sense

[ChicoFromThe305]

You only made sense partially but if you want I can pretend it made sense ha

[MailyMartinez]

my bad i think to simplify it would be a no

[ChicoFromThe305]

No what? 😂

[MailyMartinez]

no i wouldn't want solutions

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lmao alright fair enough

[MailyMartinez]

my bad for hurting ur brain, here's a cookie and something to drink 🍪🥛

[ChicoFromThe305]

Thanks now my brain can heal from the trauma 🙂🍪🥛

[MailyMartinez]

ur very welcome 🙂 I've got a whole tray for u 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[ChicoFromThe305]

Thanks now I don't know what to do with so many cookies, you sure you don't want some back 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[MailyMartinez]

nuh uh i made them for u. save them for later

[ChicoFromThe305]

Okay I shall lol

[Elliegirl]

I don’t want solutions. I don’t just want to be heard either. I want him to listen to me. Guys seem to always want to offer solutions. That’s not what we want. We want you to listen to us. If we want a solution, we’ll ask for one. Otherwise, just hear her out.

[MemeSupreme]

unless we asking for solutions SPECIFICALLY then just listen

people usually know what they gotta do or literally can't do much to fix it so they're venting. we don't wanna hear what we already know

[ChicoFromThe305]

Fair enough, I'll stop helping people 😂

[MemeSupreme]

you are helping by listening lol

[ChicoFromThe305]

Fair enough lol

[Agape93]

Ranting for rantings sake doesn't help. If I'm ranting, I'm expecting solutions or a response. If I just wanna bitch, I'll tell you in advance

[ChicoFromThe305]

So you'd really be like "don't help me, I just wanna talk shit"? 😂

[Agape93]

Yeah, Account will attest to that. Sometimes I'll just say

Heads up, about to rant. Ignore me

Then I'll paragraph her dms for abit

[Agape93]

She's read some argual dark shit lol

[ChicoFromThe305]

I believe you, it seems not everyone gets the luxury of agape with her mouth shut 😂

[Agape93]

Oh fuck you xD

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lol.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'm just trolling, I'll fix it, your presence itself is the luxury 😌☝🏽😁

[Agape93]

Lol i know xD now you're just sucking up, sap

[ChicoFromThe305]

Don't act like you don't like it, it's just a balance to confuse your brain, now you can't hate me 😌

[Agape93]

Ah he's learning!

[ChicoFromThe305]

Of course, that's why my head is huge

[Agape93]

Which head? 😏

[ChicoFromThe305]

The top one, don't hold your breath on the bottom one being big 😂

[Agape93]

Lol.

[Account]

I can fully confirm that she does it! 😂

Also her presence is always appreciated and a pleasure as well, dark shit doesn't bother me.

Lmao @ this convo 🤣

[ChicoFromThe305]

Do you also know her weakness? Cause it's pretty funny not gonna lie 😂

[Account]

Chico, how would I know? I don't go around asking people about their weaknesses 😅

[ChicoFromThe305]

Cause agape is kinda blabby, there's no reason why I shouldn't have been given such info by just asking, I thought if i knew, you must too since y'all are closer, im basically a stranger

[Agape93]

Pretty sure she's seen it on here lol it's my coke allergy

[ChicoFromThe305]

They say til this day agape is exposing her weakness to any living soul she finds

[Agape93]

Hey gotta give the world a chance at killing me, otherwise shit gets boring

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yea okay buddy 😂

[electromagnetic]

I rant for justification. I hope that they offer me a reasonable solution to my rant and I tend to look into their perspective if they think I may have misunderstood something.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Interesting, very mature of you empy now focus on that patience 😂

[electromagnetic]

Notice how all three conversations lead us here 😮‍💨

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yea you can't escape the topic 😂

[bobalife]

Most of the time we wanna be heard, which is crucial. If we want a solution, then, it comes second after being heard first.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Okay noted lol

[bobalife]

What a good student 😊

[ChicoFromThe305]

So now you are a teacher? Lol

[bobalife]

You taking notes. I can be your professor lmao. I actually do wanna be a professor someday.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I already took notes lol

[bobalife]

I was answering your question why I’m your teacher cuz you took notes lol

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yea so what other information you have for me teacher 🙂📝

[Razp_Sorbet]

Ask... Sometimes we want advice sometimes we just want to vent. Listen to what she has to say, don't interrupt.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Noted 🙂📝

[Razp_Sorbet]

I think most of the time you can tell by the topic. A lot of work related venting for example isn't usually able to be resolved without quiting or getting fired 😂

[ChicoFromThe305]

But that depends on the issue tho doesn't it, I never recommend the loss of a job as a solution unless it's something foul and losing the job is better than the issue, I think just asking for a change of locations would be better advice to give than telling them to quit lol

I do get what you mean tho ha

[katiesmuff]

You seem to have this retarded idea that it's just women with these problems.

[ChicoFromThe305]

This wasn't for you to get insulted

[Nikki1989]

Most men don't want solutions and don't want to hear the truth. The truth hurts insecure men like a kick to the head.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Whatever you gotta tell yourself, do you have an answer for the question tho?

[Nikki1989]

I just answer it. I try to give solutions, but most won't to hear it.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You should reread the question, I don't know how you surrounding yourself with childish men is answering a question about women 💀

[Nikki1989]

Maybe you shouldn't post vague questions.

[ChicoFromThe305]

So you got triggered? I see, now I see where your irrelevant statement comes from

[kylee2437]

Both. In order to get to solutions, people need to be able to hear you out and not just get into defense mode/ listening to answer. The listening to answer shit pissing me off.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Well, I want both. lol

I can’t speak for other women. 😂

[ChicoFromThe305]

You greedy ass 😂

[SweetJoyGirl]

Jelly. 🪼

[ChicoFromThe305]

Nah 🥜🥜🥜

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Just listen:

[ChicoFromThe305]

I don't even need to go to the park, there's ducks walking around my complex, I know someone that found a duck egg and has their own duck lol

[PrettyCrumblBb]

You lucky duck. 😉

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lol 🦆

[Vegasrunner]

They want to be heard. The biggest mistake you can make as a man is to sit there and listen. What its better to do is to is to leave until she calms down then return when you can lead her in an emotional stable conversation.

[thatshydork]

I just want to be heard. If I want advice, I’ll ask for it.

[midnightmoon05]

I complain sometimes… just listen. I can solve most of own problems.

[Dongie]

I can answer this for the "ladies". They just want the men around them to suffer. That's why they open their mouths.

[Colon_Colonizer]

This inspired me to troll on the topic of nagging. Had an authentic laugh at how some dumbass women got offended by this question.

[Anonymous]

This sums it up pretty well.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/-4EDhdAHrOg

[Opinion Owner]

Oops, someone beat me to it. But it bears repeating.

[avery58]

Personally mostly just be heard