How come women hate masculinity but also want men to be masculine?

[chris_987]

Like I know a lot of girls who say that men should cry but are also asking for men to protect them. I don't think you could have it both ways. The guy who's too busy crying isn't going to protect you

[Finchie40]

Because most women don’t really know what they want , why it’s best for a guy to balance in between good guy and bad guy , if he wants to keep her by her side , If a guy is too nice , she gets turned off , if a guy is too bad or mean she gets turned off. Pretty much every girl I was in a relationship with has done this in a matter of time, to the point it just comes naturally for me to do. Guys’ need to understand a females’ brain is wired differently from ours , her brain is racing with a 1000 things at once when a guys’ brain doesn’t even come close , plus she has hormones that are completely out of wack , which us guys’ have natural testosterone that she doesn’t possess in herself as a guy gets’ older his testosterone decreases so he is best to go to the doctor and get some testosterone injections if he is lacking on things , Most females are drawn to his testosterone and masculine energy because she doesn’t have what he has , A girl feels safe and protected by his masculine energy , most girls’ want a guy that she can look up to and feel safe and protected by , a guy that takes lead and a guy that doesn’t show to much weakness , why it’s stupid for a guy to allow a girl to walk over him. Because once she feels like she is raising a child , she will lose all attraction to him. and look at him like he is weak bastard , Most girls’ love guys’ that keeps her on her toes , most females’ are natural care takers , why a lot of girls’ go for the bad boy type because she feels she can take care of him and fix him , but if he can’t be fixed or make any improvements , she will lose attraction to him. If a girl goes for a nice guy , she will cherish that nice guy for a matter of time until she becomes bored of it , so if he continues being too nice to her , she doesn’t feel like she has a challenge , Females’ need challenged , She doesn’t want a guy that constantly kisses her ass trying to make everything better , a guy that constantly says he is sorry for hurting her feelings is digging his own grave. Most guys’ will praise her every time she is in one of her moods , when she is bitching and complaining about everything that is out of your hands , Her moods are her fucking problem , not yours , don’t make it your problem , stay the fuck away from her when she is stomping around the house bitching about things that aren’t done especially when she notices you sitting on the couch relaxing and screams at you , just ignore her or say Awww that sucks or say baby is everything ok , is there something bothering you? Can I help you with something because I don’t understand you when you are yelling at me. Never jump off that couch and cater to her bitching and complaining, if she wants to act like a bitch , treat her like a bitch. A girl will try to find everything wrong in the house to use against you , she has hands and feet , if it’s bothering her that bad , she can clean it or fix it herself, you aren’t her slave if she can’t fix it or clean it herself , then it’s her job to come to you and talk to you calmly and polite and say baby can you please fix that or clean that when you get a chance , then you say Yes I will do it now that you aren’t screaming at me. If a girl is constantly screaming at you every day over something stupid , it’s best for you to tell her to leave , if she is causing that much chaos in your home. Tell her to grab her things and get the fuck out. She is a toxic basket case that needs professional help. My ex constantly screamed and yelled about the dumbest things to the point nothing made her happy or calm , she was always stressed about something and always tried pointing fingers at me instead of pointing fingers at herself first , never tolerate that shit with any girl , she needs serious mental help if she is bringing that much misery into your life , a loving caring girl will bring happiness into your life not constant misery. So Stop kissing her ass every time she bitches about something , when you stop kissing her ass , she will get turned on because she will realize her words don’t effect you. Whether she is testing you or not. Never fall for that shit , if she was loving and caring to you in the beginning of your relationship then she can be loving and caring to you now , if not? kick her the fuck out if she doesn’t change back to being respectful and polite to you, I don’t care how good she is on bed or how beautiful she is , Her brain is out of control and she needs serious help , suggest Anger management classes and tell her you will not stay in a relationship with a girl that brings constant misery into my life , you either go get help or get the fuck out

[Shiprex]

I'm going to counter the OPs mission to suggest that men aren't allowed to show emotion IN THEIR OWN WAY these days. They're EXPECTED to cry to be seen as an emotionally available and (HATE THIS myth but... ) intelligent. We don't process emotions the same as women but the current push of media and societal expressiveness (and main character syndrome we're all supposed to develop so as to get external validation from strangers ignoring family friends and colleagues) that is being regarded as the BEST way to deal with emotion. It's NOT, it's a myth pushed by those who WANT to take advantage of people who MUST be "seeking" a place to express themselves and process things.

Conventionally men would process things internally and often store as a learning experience rather than "share" their feelings as a way to build their masculinity. Nowadays though men are being encouraged to "let it out", "show us you have emotions", "don't bottle it up", "sharing is caring (puke)" and all that other claptrap that comes along with it. You know who DO thrive on others emoting? Psychologists because you end up getting advised to go there to spill the beans and emote away. That this is hugely a women dominated profession shouldn't be seen as something that women are encouraging men to indulge in in order to support the sisterhood BUT it is a sign that women are encouraging men to be more like them when it comes to this matter.

I don't think so. That's after speaking with 3 trained psychologists none of whom were much help, a life coach who provided resource I had to learn to deal with thoughts of self deletion and NOT A SINGLE ONE OF them provided the same level of positive feedback as the two (immigrant) General Practitioners I spoke to about depression. Not specifically trained but share the same gender as I.
Goes to show, bros for bros not hoes for bros

[Crimsyjo]

It's about location. We want a man who isn't afraid to let his vulnerability show to us behind closed doors. Women are nurtures. We want to take care of our man emotionally whilst he can make us feel safe and secure physically.

[chris_987]

Well my whole thing is girls shouldn't be dictating a man's masculinity. In the same way you would never allow a guy to dictate your femininity. Imagine if I told you that you need to stop caring too much. You would probably feel less of a woman. The same way when the girls say guys should stop thinking about every situation. as protectors it's what we do.

[Crimsyjo]

Haha it depends how it's said. But I'm sure a man might want to say to a girl that she's over thinking and should be less emotional. If it's said in the right way it could be helpful. It doesn't change a woman's feminity. But if a guy says a woman must be good at cooking, cleaning, should cover up etc (traits that our traditionally thought as feminine) then unless they are her natural traits (she enjoys being traditional or cooking etc) it's not about a man changing your feminity but about expecting you to change period. And that goes for men too. If a woman wants a man to act different from his personal traits then it means you are not compatible. Nothing to do with masculinity. Because women have different views of what that means. All searches for a partner is about finding the one that accepts and matches you. As you are. It's easy to lose sight of that with tv and media that promote a generalised view of genders.

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

What a funny man you are

Now tell us your real question

[chris_987]

What question do you think that is

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

Why that girl rejected you

[chris_987]

No that's not it the question was masculine traits are hated by society but they are needed when you want me to go to war and fight for you. So you can't demonize men and then also ask for their protection. Rejection wasn't even on my mind.

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

okay yes i totally get that!
See, masculine traits are not being hated. It is hated to be an asshole, which for a while was simply perceived as being masculine, while now we try to teach people that it's not. Furthermore, masculinity being used as a stereotypical trait to put people down by assigning it fully to one and not at all to the other gender is being criticized. More concretely, the aim is to make it acceptable for men to be as much or little "masculine" as they want to and for women to do the same, without making this a requirement needed to "earn" their gender and be respected. So suppose, if a women wants to be a housewife and very feminine whilst a man wants to be very masculine, that is fine. The opposite however, if a women carries a lot of "masculine" traits/characteristics whilst a man has very little of them and maybe adheres more to "feminine" traits/characteristics, that is just as fine. What is not fine and hated on is to believe and require that men should always be "manly" to be a proper man (and women "feminine" to be a proper women), thereby hating and discriminating men that don't feel or want to behave in these stereotypical ways.

(Part 1)

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

Furthermore, the war situation is part of this: According to feminism, you would not want only men to go to war. Rather, you would want to base it on an individuals traits and circumstances. Not fathers, but the parent that is doing the least amount of care-work for the child, is the most reasonable one to go to war. Not men, but the physically most fit people, including women, should go to war. Not men, not women, but the smartest and most educated people should do the mental work of planning and organizing operations in a war situation.
You see where this is aiming at? There is space for manly traits, everybody shall live authentically to who they are. And that is exactly what we should base our decisions and task distribution on: what people are best at and who they are. And this will be more distributed across genders the more we open up options and loosen gender-specific stereotypes from a young age on, as you can eg. tell by how at this point, there are more women in university programs than men, despite it being a male-exclusive field in the past. We found through science that men are just as capable of empathy as women. We found they both matter equally much and must be emotionally present when raising a child. We found they are both smart, can both do maths, can both be brilliant cooks. We learned that we are 99,99999% equal, and our one or two differences are only present in many, not all of us. Some women are stronger than some men or taller than them. And that's basically it.

Ya know?

(Part 2 lol)

[chris_987]

You should save the conversations for telephones if you're going to be this long-winded. My grade school education won't allow me to read such long sentences

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

And about the original question: I'm a smallass girly girl but I did Jujutsu from a young age on, MMA for many years and am very high energy (got it from my parents hihi, dad had a Karate black belt I know very stereotypical & my mom runs marathons). I don't look/seem it bc I am very kind and sweet, but I can get A N G R Y if someone is mean to people I love. It's a nice surprise effect. I've peppersprayed dudes who wanted to beat up one of my male friends, I came at a group of 8 really big dudes who wanted to attack my boyfriend (who also came at them so I basically held both of them back), I've kicked the shit out of a dudes balls who wanted to sexually assault me outside of a party and I am ready to stab anyones fucking eyes out where they to attack my friends or family. I have a very sweet female friend who also beat the shit out of a dude who tried to rape her, they were the same height and weight but she was ANGRIER. And I could tell more stories about my other friends. I was sexually assaulted by another women before as well, luckily I was stronger than her as well. But do you get my point? We don't need and want you to be the big strong aggressive males all the time because that creates so much trouble and inequality. You protect us, we protect you. You cry, we cry. Each of us can do both, just don't try to fucking put one of us above the other in some sense okay? It's common sense for physically stronger or taller people to sometimes take on tasks which only a very strong or tall person can do, but that could be both women and men. Look at the female rubgy team!! And in any friendgroup I can show you at least 2 girls and guys which are the same height or the girl (s) even being taller and stronger. Just don't be who you aren't and be who you are.

[chris_987]

A good story bruh

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

If you ask a complex question but don't take in complex answers, then you will stay oblivious no matter how close you are to the knowledge.

[chris_987]

You can have complex answers all day but read the room who's really going to read a 50-page document online? If you can't say what you can say in a paragraph then make a call

[SuckOnThisOpinion]

sure gimme ur number while i read this nonexistent room you're talking about

[chris_987]

My phone number? At least take me out first

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Women don't hate regular masculinity; they hate toxic masculinity.

[chris_987]

I don't think so. Because I would say when Dykes play dress up they take on the most toxic traits of a man and lipstick lesbians seem fine with that. So it's just gaslighting at this point to call what they love toxic.

[msmissydc]

I dont even start questioning your premise (because there is an error in that too) but please explain again how crying makes you physicaly weaker, because I didn't know humans have that ability. 😅

[RageBabe]

Showing emotion doesn’t make you weak. This guy is always trying to get a reaction from women and he likes to stir things up.

[chris_987]

Women assume it does so ask them. They're the ones who get turned off when guys throw a sign of weakness

[RageBabe]

I’m a freaking woman with a sister and a bunch of women friends all of us prefer a man who expresses his emotions. Don’t put women in a box we are not monolithic.

[chris_987]

I don't even think you're smart enough to realize you don't prefer men that always show emotion. But you're welcome to live in your delusional world if you like.

[RageBabe]

How are you going to tell me what I prefer? 🤡

[lin123_]

Men should preferably be sensitive and be able to cry or be afraid. I'd rather choose an emotional man instead of a protective one if i could only pick one.

[chris_987]

Their not hard to find, feminine men are everywhere and I can help you find one

[lin123_]

haha yes please

[chris_987]

First thing download Grindr and ask for a femboy

[Anonymous]

listening to women instead of listening to God is why we have so many problems in the world today.

oh men need to do this, men need to do that, men need to do what I say etc. nah fuck that

[Anonymous]

Without Butch Women to do the dirty jobs, us "modern men" wouldn't be able to work white collar jobs like secretaries and still shave our balls on the weekends when one is not at work, in the privacy of my home shower 🚿🚿🚿🚿

[Ariesman81]

Dude it's so simple! Just be the opposite of what you are. If you're sad... don't be. If you're angry... don't be. If you're in love with her... don't be. If you're happy... don't be.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

have you not noticed that women only like shit that works for them at their move convinient time?

[SolitarySolace]

They dont know what they want. They hate men yet still strive to attract them 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Anonymous]

Women don't hate masculinity, feminists do. Why? Because they know women can't compete for power successfully against masculine men, so they are trying to emasculate men and boys as a whole.

[SlightlyMental]

Ideaologies create relious followings and the label it's self and it's little made up meanings become gospel.

[Apple1996]

Masculine men do cry sometimes

[chris_987]

Why asked for a little bit you can get a lot. If women really wanted a emotional man wouldn't they just get with a more feminine man?

[avery58]

Where are y'all finding these girls?

[chris_987]

You never heard a woman say that men should be more open and cry?

[avery58]

Lol showing emotion has nothing to do with masculinity, that just makes someone a normal human being. You don't find it unfair that society tells men they're not allowed to cry?

[chris_987]

That's not society. That's mostly women. I don't care if men cry but women are very quick to say that men are sassy or gay. So why would we do the opposite of what women are attracted to.

The only thing is that women can't stay consistent. You can't use gay as a slur for straight men but also expect men to show emotion

[avery58]

Nah actually, it's a society thing. And I don't think the same women who say that showing emotion is gay are the same ones who say they should be open, and if some of them do then their just hypocrites. But it's not just them, I've mainly heard "men don't cry" from other men. Especially coming from more conservative cultures.

[avery58]

I think most people are mature enough to know that there's nothing wrong with feeling and showing emotion though

[chris_987]

It has nothing to do with maturity. It's a innate biological response, on a primal level, women only get with men for protection (probably because you guys aren't afraid of everything) So when you guys lose that security And feelings of insecurity arises. It could be crying. It could be finances. You're going to do what your biologically programmed to do which is leave and find security. So you'd like to think that women love men who cry but when I look out and see girls dating bad boys or even messaging criminals. The real world tells me otherwise.

[lin123_]

Lol men can do both. Being able to cry doesn't make anyone a crybaby. I'd rather pick emotional men, if i had to choose between them.

[chris_987]

So why not date and all the way feminine man

[RageBabe]

I don’t relate.

[chris_987]

Is it cuz you're a lesbian?

[RageBabe]

I’m not a lesbian.

[RageBabe]

I like sensitive men with some masculinity and guess what? They can coexist.

[RageBabe]

You seem to know nada about women… everything is assumption with you. SMFH

[chris_987]

I asked a question. And you acted like I made a statement. Lol

[RageBabe]

I made a statement… no keep it moving. Lol

[RageBabe]

Now*

[chris_987]

Why do you guys even come on this conversational website if you don't expect a back and forth and only want to make statements. And then you expect people to take you seriously

[RageBabe]

Chris we’ve had this discussion fore and you always want to insult. I’m just going to leave it at that.

[RageBabe]

Before*

[chris_987]

I've never spoken to you in my life, That I'm sure of

[RageBabe]

We spoke three days ago… if you can’t remember then maybe you are not in the right mind and smoking too much weed.

[chris_987]

So let me get this straight. I'm the problem but your name is rage. I believe that's called gaslighting

[RageBabe]

You really need to stop making broad assumptions. Lol

[RageBabe]

We’ve all felt rage at some point unless you’re a robot, Chris.

[chris_987]

Not enough to put it as your name. If your personality is commonly associated with rage. Then that tells me that you Live in negative emotions. That's probably why you rage quit as soon as I asked if you are a lesbian. You didn't take it as somebody being genuinely curious. You instantly assumed that I had some negative motivation. But I'm not here to psychoanalyze you. I'm just telling you what I see.

[RageBabe]

RageBabe is a song from a famous Grunge girl band. Please stop assuming.

[chris_987]

You being emo is only proving my point

[RageBabe]

Being emo is fine… being mean is not.

[chris_987]

Being emo is only fine if you're with somebody else thats emo. And normal guys find that exhausting.

[RageBabe]

Hopefully he will be. I want a man to express his emotions not hide them.

[chris_987]

All women say they want that but their biology and their insecurity will not allow for it. That's literally what? We've been discussing this whole time. Pay attention!

[RageBabe]

I’ve told you not all women are the same. You act like we are monolithic and all want the same. Please pay attention to what I just said.

[chris_987]

Women are all the same, You all have a vagina, That bleeds once a month And causes you to be emotional. You all look at men as stronger Than you, So you will all feel insecure about men taking advantage of you, especially during sex since you're the one that gets pregnant (That's why you guys all fight so hard for abortion). So saying women aren't all the same When all of you share this trait Is quite a dumb argument. But you're welcome to disprove it if you can

[RageBabe]

Wow. 😳

[chris_987]

Lol I guess that's all it took to stump you

[RageBabe]

You really have no idea about women. 😂

[chris_987]

And you have no idea how to make an argument. how old are you?

[RageBabe]

Old enough to not keep entertaining you. Ciao

[chris_987]

Sorry I don't speak coward

[RageBabe]

🤦🏽‍♀️…

[jahaims]

Brainwashed