Avoidant type long distance best friend told her I love her she said she wants to stay friend but now closer than ever and dresses sexy when we speak?

[Jerrysfingers]

[Dirtydangerhart]

That's just Cruel, you should get rid of her, she is now feeding off the attention your giving her. Without commitment. She knows you like her so to suddenly be comfortable Sexualising her self is Telling. She is obviously trying to make you Jealous. By showing you what you can't have. Get rid of her you deserve better.

[strateguy632]

That Dressing doesn't mean she liked you. Dump the long distance but find local instead.

[Nikki1989]

And so what?

[In_Trance]

So what's your question

[Abbycado]

Okay, and?

[Jerrysfingers]

Never was this close before. We used to talk every couple months and would spend a few weeks together every summer. This summer we were super connected on our trip and before she went home I told her I loved her.

She said she wanted to be friends and didn’t want to lose me from her life. She said she wasn’t in a place yet to give what I asked to anyone (typical avoidant type response). She went back home and since then we talk every day morning and night by chat with video chats a few times a week. I sent her a very thoughtful gift box of 36 gifts for her birthday. All were incredible y thoughtful and touching gifts that touched on our past. I also wrote her a book including photos and special items from through our lives as well as long insightful chapter about why we would be a great couple.

We have been opening the gifts on calls. All the friend like items she likes but the items you would think would only be appreciated by someone in love like a photo collage of the two of us, an anklet with a heart with her birth stone, earrings, an experience for her son and her to have together and so much more.

She told me the book is her favorite part of the gift the nicest thing anyone has given her in her whole life. She talks about reading it over and over and how much she loves it. Never addresses anything in it.

If you know about avoidants they have a hard time expressing emotion because of deep trauma and a fear of abandonment. I believe her fears are stopping her from moving forward and giving us a chance. She likely believes that she will hurt me down the road because that’s what avoidants do after the honeymoon phase they withdraw. She is trying to heal from her attachments but it is a process.

We never want to hang up or be the first to say goodbye. It’s really different now than before when we were just friends.

I’m not sure how to ask her without her fears triggering. I know I’d never give up on her but how do I help her feel that? (I think she wants to)

[Jerrysfingers]

I would think if she just wanted to be friends we would connect less not more and she would be conscious of wearing sexy outfits showing more skin than ever before on our calls. Yesterday she was in a loose bathing suit and was bending over constantly in front of the camera to pick things up but was falling out. She had to know?

[Agape93]

Dude she didn't ask for a novel

[Jerrysfingers]

@Agape93 interestingly she said the book is her most prized possession and the greatest thing anyone has ever done for her.

[Agape93]

Nobody cares

[Jerrysfingers]

@Agape93 why are you here?

[Agape93]

Because i can be