Honest answers please. In a sense I don’t think they are, but why is it that a lot of women go for the bad boy thing, and then when it comes down to a “good man” getting too close, it always falls through?
It’s a dynamic that has fascinated me, ever since I came of age, because it has always directly applied to me.
Abusive men often validate a woman’s insecurities. She feels like that is “that’s what she really deserves” and that’s why they often self-sabotage themselves by passing up good men. They also get a masochinist “adrenaline rush” out of being mistreated by men.
Now is that all women? No. But it’s unacceptably high percentage of them who act this way. Also its usually young attractive women often do this bs (but I’ve met grown ass women who do this as well). Which is sad because they are in the physical primes of their lives and they are giving it up to the wrong men. They usually have a plethora of options of good men to choose from but they get bored and look for “excitement” over viability.
Anyway there is a difference between understandable vs. acceptable. If a young attractive woman who had daddy issues wants to chase a “bad boy” to her own demise then fine. Fine. Go ahead jump head first into the dark pit.
But just because they are unable to control their better judgment it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be held accountable for their self destructive decisions. I am sick and tired of these types of women looking for a shoulder to cry on after they screwed over. Like they are perpetual slaves to their backward emotions. Really fed up with society giving them sympathy for it.
So guys whenever you hear a young woman complain about how her abusive asshole ex boyfriend treated her take a step back. Most men have “built in chivalry” response to protect the woman in those scenarios. But there is usually more too it. While it’s possible she was just unlucky it’s more likely she voluntarily choose that bad decision despite multiple red flags.
I am all for women having the freedom to date and sleep with whoever they want. Both they are not “victims” when they screwed over by abusive guys when the writing was in the wall.
This goes both ways too. Lots of guys (including a younger and more naive me) get screwed over by women because they intentionally overlooked red flags. Listen to your gut.
People's choices in relationships can be influenced by a variety of factors, and it's not always a straightforward matter of preferring one type of person over another. Here are a few reasons why some women (or men) might find themselves attracted to less suitable partners:
1. **Familiar Patterns:** Sometimes individuals are drawn to what they know, even if it's not healthy. If someone has grown up seeing toxic relationships, they might subconsciously seek out similar dynamics because it's what they're familiar with.
2. **Self-Esteem Issues:** Low self-esteem can lead people to believe they don't deserve a "good" partner, leading them to settle for less.
3. **Excitement and Drama:** Some people might equate drama and unpredictability with excitement and passion. A "bad" partner might seem more thrilling than someone stable and dependable.
4. **Fear of Vulnerability:** Being with a genuinely good person requires a level of emotional openness and vulnerability that some people might find intimidating. They might choose partners who don't demand this of them.
5. **Past Trauma:** Past emotional or psychological trauma can affect someone's ability to recognize or choose healthy relationships.
6. **Internal Narratives:** Sometimes, people have internalized narratives that push them toward less suitable partners. For example, they might believe that they can "fix" or "save" the person.
It's important to remember that these patterns can be complex and deeply rooted in a person's experiences and psychology. Encouragement, understanding, and sometimes professional help can assist individuals in recognizing these patterns and making healthier choices.
Those bad boys... Aren't actually bad. The star quarterback isn't actually bad. He might've said some immature shit at some point but people grow up. But guys who were introverted often saw the charismatic popular guys as being utter monsters when they actually weren't.
Same goes for frat guys, they act immature, sure but most of them are actually decent guys deep down. It's just stereotypes on top of stereotypes.
Most women aren't dating drug addicts or drug dealers who beat them. That's not happening to the majority of women.
So it comes down to what are people actually calling "bad"
Is it outspoken and extroverted? Immature?
Popular?
Is it because successful competition is the enemy? Demonizing the popular guys because they succeed with women?
Are these "bad" guys truly bad tho?
Or is the bad boy vibe merely just a vibe and that's it?
Sure that’s mostly true, but it’s like I know dudes where, say if I had a sister, I wouldn’t want them dating, even though I think they’re fun and “good people”… what’s his intention? Is he there for the short term fling or the long term? Is he the right kind of guy for the longer term? Can he facilitate that? Or if he can’t currently, can the girl and guy work together and build up the long term? Is he put-together enough?
Intention and the future-potential aspect is a huge part of the good/bad guy thing and I think it’s naive to not consider that. A guy has to see a future with you or visa versa. Don’t pretend guys are people that they aren’t.
As a guy this is very difficult to see in attractive women because they all “want a good guy that does X Y and Z” and they play the part of the cute, caring girl very well… until you get too close and realize that you’re not actually the one they’re looking for.
So you think they're good guys but maybe not exactly perfect for your sister.
That's ok but it doesn't make them bad people.
Now if your question was, are women scared of men that are just right for them? Then that might be more accurate.
However even that is subjective. You might not think your sister is right with your friend but you're not her. He could be perfect for her even if you don't necessarily see it.
Nuh this don’t apply to most women because of stereotypes… but only for some girls who has little experience, bad childhood, bad insecurities, or attachment styles.
I actually hate guys who pretends to be good or not who they really are. It’s a major turn off when they’re tryna fake it to make it to grab our attention and whatever they’re aiming for.
Opinion
30Opinion
Literally no.
Women want a man who will uplift them, support them, love them genuinely, engage in intimacy, be a beacon honesty & transparency & responsibility, emotional vulnerability / humble, gentleman-like, and warm & inviting. Above all else: character. That is a good well meaning man and that is what they want since the majority of women I’ve encountered all share these traits in the men they’ve selected along with actually sticking with them through thick & thin.
Women love good men and are attracted towards good men, straight up.
*I want to say this too…. I’ve seen guys ruin friendships with female friends by not taking ‘no’ for an answer when it comes to taking it to the next level even when they are already in a relationship….
Friendships ended and think of it, if they opened up their true feelings then just went “yeah I did it to feel better, though we are definitely better as friends” they would keep a good friend they’ve known since childhood all ruined by putting self first & pride & ego getting in the way of what truly mattered. Learn to be appreciative and if you can’t respect and love the other’s feelings or put them before your own then you are a bad man.
Not afraid, but they feel threatened by them in the sense that a good/decent man makes women feel unable to control, change, or manipulate him. A good/decent man also makes her feel like he is superior to her in morals, maturity, or intelligence, which she can't accept because she believes she is the one who is all those things or needs to be.
I have said this a million times: women will often use explanations that good men are not really good, are users, dot dot dot. Are there dudes who pretend being "nice" guys with bad intentions? Of course. But there are many others who are genuine, and women are very well aware of this but try to demonize that. There are plenty of good/decent men out there who are exactly the goodness and decency they show up front, and who are also confident and good with women, it's just that deep down these women don't really want good guys.
So they use excuses for the fact that they do want bad guys out of their own unclean desires. And by choosing bad guys they're hoping to scorn or make good/decent men feel bad about themselves. Then women end up getting hurt or their kids get hurt by being with bad dudes, so the joke is on them.
Oh come on. Seriously? there is no mystery here.
Why do women lust after Chad? Because Chad is tall, ripped, handsome confident, and has a extroverted personality.
Why do men lust after Barbie? Because Barbie has perfect fake tits, perfect hair and makeup, a wardrobe of provocative clothes, is flirty, and DTF.
Is Chad or Barbie a great choice for any well balanced, rational person? Nope! Not unless you enjoy a life full of drama. Chad and Barbie are getting hit on constantly. It's pretty hard to NOT take advantage of that. Same as a trust fund baby not deciding to take advantage of daddy's money. Not gonna happen. Chad and Barbie learn early on that the normal rules don't apply to them.
Are women afraid of good men? No they're the stupid women. They think they can have Chad and he'll never cheat on them.
Are men afraid of good women? No, they're the stupid men. They think they can have Barbie and she'll would never cheat on them.
Good men and good women recognize that Chad and Barbie make lousy partners and simply sidestep that choice to find other people who are well grounded in morality and values.
In Chad and Barbie's defense, it's gotta be really hard to resist the temptation if opportunities are being thrown at you every day.
For the most part yes, especially if she had her heart broken before , she doesn’t think she deserves a good man , so she will slowly tear down a good man and have a hard time trusting him and hurt him as much as possible , until he realizes he deserves better and leaves her ass , the second he leaves , she will try chasing him back , if he is wise , he won’t take her back period. My ex did this shit to me and I would take her back when she chased me , Things would go back to being good between us for a little while , until she decided to be a massive bitch to me again , It was like a vicious cycle that kept reoccurring until I finally threw in the towel for
Good and didn’t give her another chance. Best decision I ever made for myself , i eventually met girls’ that actually had genuine hearts that weren’t broken , only date girls’ that respect and value you the same way you do for them , if she is damaged, kick her ass to the curb where she belongs
rule number 1) you'll never get honest answers from women
yeah they say it's all about personality until Luigi Mangione shoots dead a CEO and all is forgiven because he's hot
a good man is suddenly a bad man if he requires his woman to be good too and many of them know they're not good when they justify their high body counts, justify baby deletions, justify theft through no fault divorce, justify paternity fraud, justify double standards for women and enforce traditional standards for men
I'm going to be real here. And it's going to hurt some feelings.
* men who claim to be good guys are generally fake, weak and people pleasers. They also have no personality, no charisma, no spice nor confidence but expect women to just like them because they're nice. Nice is not a personality trait.
* the ones you men claim are the bad guys are usually the men who are confident, have charisma, a personality and audacity. They also tend to be men who are authentic.
You are absolutely right. And to any guys reading this I suggest the book no more Mr nice guy, it will call you out and make you re evaluate yourselves. Growing up in a predominantly feminist society has caused a lot of men to not know how to be men. And it’s sad it’s also lead to many women not knowing how to be women so to hear this truth from a woman is truly phenomenal compared to the garbage I’ve been reading on some posts.
@HighValue It’s okay for it not to make sense to you when you’re stuck in the nice guy syndrome stage you don’t realize how toxic it is to yourself and the women you want to love you. As a good guy you shouldn’t have to say I’m a good guy, people will say it for you. In the end you are the priority. Not the women
Exactly right! If think about womans viewpoint … it makes sense. They will go for good guys but weak doesn't feel good. Does a weak wimpy pushover girl feel good to the asker?
@lightbulb27 exactly
No. Any fear they would have in a situation like that comes from an external force, like the unresolved damage from other men who have hurt them. A lot of women have no idea how to handle being around good men, but that's not usually a fear thing.
For the majority, what it really is, is that the women know they are often low quality people and will never be good enough for a good quality man. They often get angry when a good quality man refuses them and points out the reasons why. For example, a promiscuous past, dressing provocative/revealing in public and/or posting pictures like that online for attention, having tattoos or being fat, being unfair and expecting much more in the relationship than they offer themselves, etc.
They sure are son. 👀
They sure, are 🙄♀️♀️♀️😅
Ah well, they sure do eyeball me though with lust 👁️👁️👁️👁️ note the diff emoji eyes I used there. Female eyes, lustful to me lol
👀👀👀😈🫠🌕 They know a man when they see one ♂️♂️😋
Clears throat
Not afraid, just uninterested on average.
Good boys jerk off at home to pornhub. Bonus points if they get an anime girl body pillow and spend time with AI girlfriends. Just ask Elliot Rodger.
Bad boys and troublemakers get laid. Just ask Jeremy Meeks, Ted Bundy and now this one new assassin recently killing Brian Thompson
Good men will garner sympathy is a dispute and may be able to refute to some extent false accusations by women. Women are frraid of this.
Bad men are rountinely presumed to be guilty of all the things women accuse them of, and women feel safer with this advantage in place.
Interesting
Like in a sense where “well he was a bad dude anyway” and they can easily move on blaming the guy without guilt? It’s like a get out of jail free card, sounds like.
Women are not monolithic. Some might, most don't. That does not mean that those who are not will automatically be attracted to some guy just because he is a good man. She might find him too young, too old, kind of boring, not physically appealing, etc.
Considering words vs actions, women want a guy that will cause them drama, because it's a turn on for them. The guys they say they want, women actually find boring because they don't cause drama of any kind and women feel uncomfortable without drama in their life.
Who are these women you’re talking about? It better be about girls that grew up with parents constantly fighting because not all of us went through that.
I grew up in a healthy household and that’s the least thing I want: drama. I’ve heard enough of that from close friends and it’s mentally exhausting, and don’t even care about it anymore so why would I want that in something much more personal?
Calling it a “turn on” it’s absolutely weird, dude.
@stephanie-ramos The irony of it... the simple mention of drama "turned you on"
@stephanie-ramos "turn-on" isn't specifically a sexual phrase. It literally just means catching one's full attention from a point of no interest. And the women i refer to, is literally every woman i have ever met. Ever since i was young, i struggled to understand people, so i got into the habit of watching actions of people around me, this also translated over into trying to understand romance. Over the years women have always told me " i just want a nice guy who will treat me well", but "treat me well" means something different to each woman, but also their actions speak the complete opposite, as they go after guys that treat them like garbage, complain, then repeat the process with the next guy, being totally oblivious to what she says vs what she does. One phrase that always rings true "actions speak louder than words". When i see my genuinely nice friends with girlfriends, they end up being cheated on or she treats him like crap. Women crave drama and that is a fact shown many times through actions.
If you don't believe me, pay attention to the actions of those around you, you will see a different reality, than the one spoken in words.
@dragoblack The women you have met do not define every other women. This is a huge generalization, same one that is done that “all men are trash” after choosing the wrong guy. I personally have never met a woman that has cheated on anybody because their partner has been a good guy. Every woman in my life (either married or just in a couple) has been respectful. So what does that say about women then in that case? Your personal experience isn’t something that should be used as data about every woman when it’s only been a few immature girls.
@Ariesman81 Drama is exaggerating and overreacting over something and turning it into a huge fight. Being bothered by something is a different thing. And this isn’t a fight, nor a “gotcha moment”… is a conversation.
Only generation X men are the only good ones left. They actually do live Christian standards. I used to date guys my own age sadly millennials are attached to mommy and they won't quit their childish behavior.
From mr. Good, not fear but they are attracted to bad boy because she said she want surprises. Wants until bad boy is bad to her.
Boring is bad. bad is bad none remained hence complaints.
I end up falling for bad boys and it's because I had wanted to change them. Impossible. I don't think I can find a good guy who would like me or that I deserve. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft
no lol everyone wants to be with a good person
its just we like dudes who are fun to be around, but the shitty part is that most of them are toxic
Yup good guys are boring, but isn't boring better than wild?
no you gotta find someone who is fun (so basically chemistry) and a good person
that's why dating is hard if you're going for like compatibility and not just dating bc you don't wanna be alone
I agree with blueonblack22 100% but I would also like to add that if you are constantly attracted to women with those issues you should also ask your self why that happens.
Well... simple we tend to go for whats familiar. If you're a women and your father was a womanizer you will be attracted to a womanizer. That feels familiar... women break the cycle. Date men who challenge you and make you go outside your comfort zone. But first we have to work on ourselves to get here!
Oh my gosh, no! But most women do like a guy with a little edge to him, if that makes sense. I for one love a guy who is a good guy as you say, but doesn’t over share and leaves me a little mystified. He’s good, yes, but keeps me interested because on one hand he treats me amazingly, but also is confident enough to not always be trying to “please me”.
Depends on your definition of a good man, if you mean send her good morning text and give her all your time and any behavior like that, then you’re not a good man you’re a simp. A good man can be his self unapologetically. Dangerous but in control.
Not afraid. Cautious.
Because good men have genuine behaviours that bad men display in order to groom or manipulate a woman. Being nice is portrayed as behaviors that a liar would display to fake something to gain power.
The good guys need to connect with the bad guys or vis versa and work that out. We can’t tell anymore so it’s best to not bother with you men at all.
They are not afraid, they are not attracted to them. Bad and useless men are more fun to them.
After the age of 30, they start to cry secretly, "where are the good men?"
Signed, bad man :)
I think that some of them are. Maybe it is a self esteem issue. They think they do not deserve a good guy,
God not this for the thousandth time. No, we are not.
Sadly this has been asked here since i even first came to the site in 2008 lol/ it'll never not be asked on this site.
easy no. deciding a minority of idiots defines a whole gender shows you ain't a good man though, so maybe that's why you're confused
If you have to tell people you’re a “good person”, you’re not a good person.
I don't think it's a situation of being afraid. They just find them boring.
No, I’m afraid of bad men pretending to be good
They want to be entertained with little or no thought of love and commitment.
As a girl, i think maybe part of the reason could be because she wants to be the one to "save" the bad boy and turn him into something good?
No, women are *bored* by so called good men. Big difference.
Women date bad men because there's always something they can complain about. With good men, you can't complain much
I think they are afraid of bad men. there's nothing to be afraid of good. Dont get it twisted by overthinking it.
Women afraid of men and men afraid of women, just need to separate them for 2 years to stem overpopulation
It's not that they fear good men, many just seem to god for the bad ones, or they don't appreciate a good man.
It takes 2 to tango. Bad women and bad boys goes hand in hand
Women want $$$ husband. Sex is abundance why she settle down with a good guy?
Cuz they're good men when women loves them. But after all of effection period, they show their bad face 🤷🏻♀️
No , on contrary
I am. I know I’ll hurt them to boost my ego.
How can you tell which answers are honest?
If they tell the inconvenient truth.
Why you guys think of such asinine things?
Some, as some men fear a good woman.
it's because the good guys inquestion are ugly
No, they want assholes or men with money
Yes they are
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