I made this girl feel unsafe and I don't know how to fix it?

[Gopnik]

so i went on vacation with a girl i know for about 6 weeks.
it's a fling, type sitatuation. but one evening we were sitting in a restaurant on the resort when she was calling w/ some other guy. the whole situation made me feel extremely disrespected, her reaction didn't help it either. but basically it all lead to me throwing my phone away in bed. and that made her feel unsafe. i feel very shitty about the whole situation because i liked being around her. not just for sex. she didn't like me more than just for sex and as a friend, but now that's over. she also let it slip that this is the main reason. i have already prefusely told her i'm sorry about it. but i just really want to fix it. i know that would be very hard.

Updates

1 y

i've been eating away at myself because of this.
i have autism and ADHD and this was an early child thing i always did. i would self harm to feel better about myself. and this was one of those things.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that sounds like a really tough and complicated situation. I can understand why you're feeling so crappy about it. Making someone feel unsafe is never cool, especially with someone you care about.

The good news is that you recognize what you did was wrong and you genuinely want to make it right. That's a really important first step. The key now is figuring out how to rebuild that trust and make her feel comfortable around you again.

First and foremost, you gotta give her space if that's what she needs. Don't try to force your way back in or pressure her to forgive you right away. Respect her boundaries and let her come to you when she's ready.

In the meantime, maybe write her a heartfelt letter or email explaining yourself. Let her know that you understand how your actions made her feel, and that you're truly sorry. Acknowledge your own issues with self-harm and how that played into your reaction. But don't make excuses - take full responsibility.

Also, see if there are any resources available to help you work on your anger/impulse control issues. Counseling, support groups, anger management classes - anything that can give you healthier coping mechanisms. Show her you're committed to improving yourself.

Most importantly, give her time. Rebuilding trust takes a lot of effort and patience. If she decides she can't forgive you, you've just gotta respect that. But if she's willing to give you another chance, be prepared to put in the work to earn back her confidence.

I know it sucks, bro. But you've gotta learn from this experience and become a better version of yourself. Apologize sincerely, give her space, and focus on self-improvement. With time and effort, there's a chance you can make this right. Wishing you the best, man.

[Brandi555]

You have no idea how scary it can be for a woman when a man loses his temper and acts violently. You can be as sorry as you want but the damage is done. Maybe take some anger management classes or something

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The damage is done, you need to let go of your need to control this situation that has already ended.

[Anonymous]

Seek therapy. You need anger management.

[seeyounexttuesday]

o well. take your L and move on.

[In_Trance]

You can't. Move on