Why wait until 30 to have kids?

[Gwendoline]

[Lliam]

Women are born with all the eggs they’ll ever have — about 2 million of them. Your number of eggs gradually falls over the years.

By age 37, you’ll have about 25,000, 1.25%, of your eggs left. But how many to you need to get pregnant?

Your chance of getting pregnant decreases as you get older. After three months of trying, your odds of conceiving in during your next cycle are:

18 percent at age 25
16 percent at age 30
12 percent at age 35
7 percent at age 40

I was born in 1954 when my mom was 30, about 8 years after my dad returned from fighting in WWII. My sister was born three years later.

There is a 41 year old here on GAG who is 9 months pregnant with a healthy girl.

"The optimal age for women to have children, from a biological standpoint, is generally considered to be between the late 20s and early 30s. This age range is associated with better pregnancy outcomes and higher fertility rates."

Waiting to start a family can have some benefits.
You’ll have more time to save up money, establish your relationship, and become more financially secure for your child.
Age can also bring wisdom and patience. And there’s some evidence that children born to older parents achieve higher levels of education.

[Gwendoline]

I know too many spinster who waited too long and couldn't

[sage2021]

@Lliam
He was wanting me to prove that after she 35 there is a bigger chance of giving birth to a child who might be born with birth defects. It's not about fertility it's about birth defects.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I agree with the late 20’s early 30’s in terms of being psychologically prepared but aren’t women still most fertile around 18 and their early 20’s?

[Gwendoline]

@WhiteBoyChill as for psychologically prepared, there is a theory that kids and young adults development has largely been retarded. I mean I've talked to so many college kids that are frankly so immature and its obvious their development has been retarded. That is they dont behave as responsible adults, especially since they are in the hole litteraly for tens of thousands of dollars or pounds. Yet my sister whos now at college doing her masters is a should other story, she's like a laser focused on her and goal completely aware that she is paying for everything including every stupid wishy washy woke nonsense policy her university has got going.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Thats what i was alluding to, ye

[strateguy632]

Don't wait but that is a bad reason... an infant girl is born with many egg cells already produced! Even during fetus.

By age 12 most are gone as some ova mature. So less is expected and not a reason to rush. But being energetic enough, for the chores of children, is important so reason not to wait.

[Screenwriter]

I waited until 39 and had a perfectly fine pregnancy and son who is now 29.

Fact is, you don't need 99% of your eggs if you have one or two kids. There is more incidence of certain abnormalities with pregnancies past age 35. But there are genetic tests for the common ones. I took them.

Only think I can see wrong with my son is that he's goofy at times, but I think that's because of that Y chromosome.

Sooner often can't happen because people are in school, aren't financially ready or aren't coupled with someone long-term.

At age 39, I had a 7% chance of having a certain subset of abnormalities that were tested for with the chorionic villi test that I took at 9 weeks pregnant. At age 28 that chance is more like 2%.

So, everything can't be perfect when you're young, everything can't be perfect when you're older. You've got to find a sweet spot of being emotionally, financially and relationally ready. It's a balancing act.

[thegreenyogi]

There are many people like myself who don't see having children as priority. It's not because I wouldn't want to be a mother one day but I haven't the right partner yet, and I'm not in the right place to become a parent yet. I am also going through premature menopause and most probably I won't be able to have the experience of a natural pregnancy. But this isn't the only way to become a parent. And not always is having children the answer to happiness. If and when one day I choose to become a mother I have adoption as an option. It's so unfair that being women we are put under pressure to become mothers and give birth as if it were our duty. We are more than procreators and it's not like if we don't or can't give birth we are worthless as women. We deserve happiness too and not necessarily is giving birth the answer to that.

[wynning]

Usually career, lack of prospects, environmental (economic and social factors), and individual freedom to pursue hobbies and interests while not being locked down to motherhood and child-rearing. It's an individualistic choice in that the outcome depends on what is prioritised more up to that age.

[Simslover92]

For me, I would love to be a mother, always wanted to be one but I just never found the right partner and I'm not financially in a good place to have children. I didn't choose career. I wanted to have kids since 21. But I would have been a single parent if I had gotten pregnant by the guy I lost my virginity to and when I entered a relationship at 31, we were both financially not well off to bring children into the mix nor on the same page.

Now that I'm 33, I'm really looking for someone who wants children. Hopefully soon as I am almost at the geriatric pregnancy age. I no longer care that I'm not as financially well off as I want to be. There are a lot of families that make it work despite finances lacking.

[Gwendoline]

Usually what women in your situation do is try to get a guy any guy to impregnate them

[Simslover92]

Well not me. I want a husband first. I don't want any guy to get me pregnant. I want a family. I've seen what being a single mom looks like and that's not for me.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@Simslover92 Everything you say makes sense. But if I were in your position and felt the same way what I’d do is probably just adopt like a 6 or 7 year old kid from foster care or help out somebody else with a kid

[Simslover92]

@WhiteBoyChill I really would like to have my own kids especially with my grandmother still living. It would be nice for her to see her great grandchildren before she passes away.

[zagor]

Maybe you are spending too much time playing Sims...

[Simslover92]

@zagor I hardly get to play anymore actually

[Sirenboobzilla]

Because I have things to do in my 20's. I studied and got my degree. I randomly travel throughout the year. I like to explore. And, I can't stress this enough, I haven't wanted one. Granted, boyfriend and I have spoken about it and we're close to the point where we'd welcome a happy accident. Until then, no babies!

[FreyaRed]

My mother got me with 19. It was hate love towards me, she loved me because of mother instinct but hated me because I limited her options. Biologically it surely the best for a kid when the mother is young but psychologically is such young mother challenging for a child. Very young mother will make lot of mistakes while molding child's mind in early phase of childhood.
I think 28-35 is the right time to become mother.

[exitseven]

I had all my kids before I turned 30. It was a good age. We were among the younger parents but our kids are all grown up and we are still relatively young. I have a cousin who is my age and his daughter is 13. He will be paying for college when he is over 60/

[WhiteBoyChill]

So he was around 40 when he had kids?

[exitseven]

@WhiteBoyChill yes he is 54 now. He looks like he is 80.

[Staximus]

It's a different world these days. A lot of people can't afford to have kids in their late teens and 20's like when my parents were young. They had me when they were 30, but most of their friends had kids in their late teens and early twenties.

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

I prefer a 21 year old hottie as a wife.

I dated a woman my own age category and once woman hit 30 they all turn into Karens.

My ex wife that bitch is 31 now and she's a nagging Karen.

So back to you're answer bro ok so if a 20 year old woman married a dude who is in his 30s it's perfect to conceive a child only if the 20 year old y wants to be a traditional wife and the dude works.

I work over 60 hours a week save up and I don't called myself rich but I do have decent money in savings.

Woman in their 30s do not have enough patience.

My ex-wife expects perfection and follows the rules. I cheat a lot here and there relax love to have fun.

[Jove79]

I was once told, Women want to have fun (aka sleep around, party, be free) for as long as possible.. once they start to notice the fun is slowing down, and they realize their biological clock is ticking, they start to look for someone to settle with, even if they don’t love the person, they settle just so they won’t be judged, for being older with no kids.

[Anonymous]

Idiocy.

Lots of women, we will call them low IQ feminists, believe in career before family, they say freeze your eggs, and so on. When in reality women have a biological clock, and at the age of 35, chances of birth defects, and the baby being born still born, sky rocket. There is a reason pregnancy after 35 is called geriatric pregnancy. And it gets worse the further you progress towards 50. But again shit stain feminists want you to believe you can ignore biology.

[Opinion Owner]

Some women want to ride the cock carousel and be promiscuous, which also damages their chances of being a mom.

[wynning]

You might be surprised that plenty of women if not most who choose the career prioritisation for that long are well aware of the consequences because it becomes abundantly clear even physically. It has nothing specifically to do with feminism per say except maybe progressive influence - it is a choice based on what the individual values more.

[Opinion Owner]

It's an idiotic choice. Most of these women look down on mother's and motherhood as if it's somehow less than.

[wynning]

Eh, it's a choice people make. Whether it's idiotic or not depends on if they come to regret it later. Some of them do look down on motherhood but some of them are just postponing it. To a detriment.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't disagree. Some of those women shouldn't be mother's anyway lol

[RavVid]

It would be more sensible for women to have children early, then go to college and develop a career. Instead of going to college, develop a career to degree, than take a child bearing break and subsequently go back to career.

The first way you would only have 5 years experience before the child bearing years. So there isn't much experience or reputation to be gained in that 5 years.

[14gurlz2gagonit]

Feminism has sold women a lot of reasons. If they really hold water or not depends on their opinions versus real life results.

[Joshydavid25]

Feminism messed the dynamics up big time.. So that now women feel like they have all the time in the world to have babies whenever they want, and to "live life" because apparently they'll be missing out if they have children..

[Sevenpointfive]

i think 25 is probably the ideal time for someone that has just ended puberty. men don't need to worry about that as much. they can/should control their contribution to society.

[Tarifa]

Sometimes a career comes first. Sometimes you don't find the right partner before you turn 25 or 30 or even beyond that. Every situation is different and cannot always be explained by pure logic.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe they haven't met the right person, yet.
What does it matter how many eggs she's got left? They're gonna keep coming 13 times a year until she's in her mid `50's

[CalmUntilAbused]

There is literally no reason other than to "climb the corporate ladder" (yeah, I'm nationalising Shoe0nHead's words again 😄). To put in general terms, the only reason to wait until 30 to have kids is misaligned priorities.

[Anonymous]

Why have kids

Chronic global overpopulation, no money/hope/jobs, world war 3 with probably major genocide and/or a M. A. D/nuclear winter

[Gwendoline]

Why? You realise that the population collapse will be devastating

[Opinion Owner]

Indeed and manufactured to put 5 billion plus in the ground

[MemeSupreme]

if i have a kid rn

i'm going to fuck it up. you shouldn't just have them for the sake of it

[ProbablyClueless]

I know a few women who have waited intentionally because of career stuff, but it's mostly been because of factors outside of their control.

[sage2021]

Just try not to go past 35 cause it increases birth defects

[MongozDish]

Do you have a reference for this please?

[sage2021]

Google it

[MongozDish]

Google it is not a reference.

[oldpigg]

@MongozDish Hahaha, everyone knows that. I'm a medical student. Reference: Langman: Medical Embryology (a first-semester textbook)

[MongozDish]

@oldpigg You seem completely incapable of listing a proper reference, which makes me seriously question your credibility as a "medical student." Also, you still haven't provided any references—you've only mentioned a textbook.

[Lliam]

@MongozDish. Google doesn't write articles. It merely a platform where you can search for publications from various sources. THOSE are references. You should learn how to use the web and do your own research. You might try reading some books, too.

[Gwendoline]

@sage2021 agreed. A basic Google search that any puppet can do confirmd what you said.

[sage2021]

@Gwenfoline
@Lliam
Thank both of you for going to bat for me. I appreciate you❣️

[MongozDish]

@Lliam Of course. But I'm not the one making the claim, so it's not my responsibility to look up the reference. Imagine writing an article or a paper using someone else's results or data, and when it's time to cite the source, you ask the reader to go find the reference themselves.

[Lliam]

@MongozDish. At the same time, it's not anyone's obligation to provide "proof" to anyone else on-line. This isn't journalism.

I've fallen for the request for sources before (here and on Facebook) and gone to the time and trouble to do so, only to have the person criticize the sources or argue. As it turned out, they weren't actually interested because their mind was already made up or they only believe corporate media. They just sent me on a fool's errand and wanted to bait me into an endless argument..

[MongozDish]

@Lliam First of all, I'm asking for the source because I'm genuinely interested in learning more about this phenomenon and the reasons behind it—not because I "only believe in corporate media" or because "my mind was already made up." This is the first time I'm hearing about it, and I want to understand more. It's wrong for you to assume otherwise.

Second, of course she isn’t obligated to provide a reference. She could have simply declined instead of giving vague responses. If you want to provide a source, then provide it—don’t send people on a wild goose chase. And if you’re not willing to, that’s totally fine.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@MongozDish Just so I’m understanding, you don’t consider a first year student’s medical textbook to be a reliable source.

[MongozDish]

@WhiteBoyChill Yes, I do consider it a reliable source.

If you read my response, I never claimed or implied it wasn't a reliable source. The problem is that he only told me the name of the textbook, not where to find the information. The book has over fourteen editions, and some of them are nearly 500 pages long. I can’t go through all fourteen editions and over 7,000 pages just to find a small piece of information. That’s why, in academic papers, articles, or books, references are typically formatted in a way that allows readers to easily verify the source.

[Lliam]

@MongozDish. Good point. But I doubt if her recalls the edition, chapter or page from his studies. I wouldn't be able to.

[sage2021]

@MongzDish
Look, I answered the question like I did based on what my gynochologists told me through the years to let me know what could happen if I was to get pregnant after age 35. It's their duty to their patients to inform us of that information.
I am 70 years old now and if you want to ask each of my former gynochologists about the dangers of birth defects in the babies of mothers who get pregnant at age 35 and thereafter then go ahead and ask any gynecologist about it and then shut the "F" up about it!!!

[sage2021]

https://share.newsbreak.com/cmlmhrru

Open this in Chrome and read it.

@MongozDish

[MongozDish]

@sage2021 You could have just said that your gynecologist told you, and that would have been valid. But you never did, and instead, you started becoming hostile toward me.

I don't understand why people online are so hostile—unwilling to engage in meaningful discussions and instead resorting to insults and rage. It seems like a lot of people lack emotional control these days.

Also, the article is irrelevant to the topic of discussion. I don't know why you brought it up.

[sage2021]

@MongoDish

Man! Are you a wimp!!
Just saying "Google it" is hostile to you? 🙄

[MongozDish]

@sage2021 Not really, but telling me to 'shut the "F" up about it!!!' is.

[DishLady]

That's a SUPER OLD article and has since been disproven. You're 18? You probably think everyone over 25 is ancient. Do some more research or talk to your doctor.

[ABC1x1x]

Waiting until your 30 is tough. 1 quarter of your eggs are gone and the odds of having a smart or decent kid severely reduced. The quality eggs are in the beginning

[SarahP080106]

I think some women want to focus on having a career and some want to enjoy a party lifestyle

[Sam1133]

What about you honey?

[SarahP080106]

I've been trying to get bred

[Sam1133]

Are you lesbo?

[Miristheiss]

Feminism.

Kids, family, settling down early bad.

Career, promiscuity to be sexually "free", waiting until you are aging and have tons of emotional baggage good.

[zagor]

On the other hand I have a F relative who had a kid at 43 with no complications. And another who fathered kids in late 50's with no complications.

[Gwendoline]

That's the exception not the rule

[zagor]

No, the exception is when there are problems. Although the rate of problems with older parents, especially when both are older, is much higher than, say, a couple 25 year olds, it is still fairly rare for there to be issues - 1 in 8 births has problems rather than the 1 in 40 of younger couples, but that still means 7 out of 8 are OK.

[dudeinohio]

In my case, I didn't get married until my 30s. My wife at the time was also in her 30s.

[Anonymous]

OR Freeze your eggs so, just in case you want them later in life you’re good.

My parents had me at 35+ so, I don’t see it as an issue myself.

[oldpigg]

Only stupid people have children at that age, because it increases the likelihood of congenital abnormalities.

[Anonymous]

My mom had me when she was just about my age. I'm 36. There's no "one age" to have kids. It's all dependent on YOU, THE INDIVIDUALIST

I don't want kids

[alice55]

usually people have kids when they meet their partner so sometime it's later

[Professor-college]

For me it's not that complicated but for women who wait for the last moment to have a baby it might turn into a regret

[DrPepper12]

So you can enjoy & discover YOURSELF in your 20s. That developmental phase is irreplaceable for building a functioning adult.

[Jeff51]

I'd say wait till you found the right person to have kids with. If you just wanted kids and found someone you don't love then a divorce is on the horizon.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Damn. I didn’t know the dropoff was that strong and that quickly.

[Babygirl_S]

The worst thing is to have a shitty man’s kids who treat you like shit

[Gwendoline]

It's important to make good choices and not sleep around

[WonderingManII]

Hopefully by the time you are 30 you got your life put together.

[beefcakebradybatson]

You're presumably more mature than in your twenties.

[Katalina04]

Cause I’m 20, not ready for the kids. Wanna live life.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I still haven’t even figured out how to live life tbh

[Guanfei]

Well because I'm a dude and I can't have kids by myself.

[Anonymous]

Some people can't find the right person for marriage until they are 30 or older.

[WhitneySnow]

To enjoy your twenties

[Gwendoline]

And risk living miserably in your 30s, 40s and 50s

[WhitneySnow]

Most people in their teens and twenties (including me) don’t have that much foresight. Plus you might be wrong. Right now I don’t even know if I want kids even when I’m in my thirties. Just too far away to think about. But definitely not before thirty.

[wkhan_87]

by the way that report is true

[QuestionObsession]

Why have kids at all is the right question for me

[Bklynbadboy12]

30/is a little late as far as reproduction

[SmokinAces2000]

Why not?

[xyzguy1296]

Yes , don't wait