Why wait until 30 to have kids?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Women are born with all the eggs they’ll ever have — about 2 million of them. Your number of eggs gradually falls over the years.

By age 37, you’ll have about 25,000, 1.25%, of your eggs left. But how many to you need to get pregnant?

Your chance of getting pregnant decreases as you get older. After three months of trying, your odds of conceiving in during your next cycle are:

18 percent at age 25
16 percent at age 30
12 percent at age 35
7 percent at age 40

I was born in 1954 when my mom was 30, about 8 years after my dad returned from fighting in WWII. My sister was born three years later.

There is a 41 year old here on GAG who is 9 months pregnant with a healthy girl.

"The optimal age for women to have children, from a biological standpoint, is generally considered to be between the late 20s and early 30s. This age range is associated with better pregnancy outcomes and higher fertility rates."

Waiting to start a family can have some benefits.
You’ll have more time to save up money, establish your relationship, and become more financially secure for your child.
Age can also bring wisdom and patience. And there’s some evidence that children born to older parents achieve higher levels of education.

strateguy632 · Accepted Answer

Don't wait but that is a bad reason... an infant girl is born with many egg cells already produced! Even during fetus.

By age 12 most are gone as some ova mature. So less is expected and not a reason to rush. But being energetic enough, for the chores of children, is important so reason not to wait.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I waited until 39 and had a perfectly fine pregnancy and son who is now 29.

Fact is, you don't need 99% of your eggs if you have one or two kids. There is more incidence of certain abnormalities with pregnancies past age 35. But there are genetic tests for the common ones. I took them.

Only think I can see wrong with my son is that he's goofy at times, but I think that's because of that Y chromosome.

Sooner often can't happen because people are in school, aren't financially ready or aren't coupled with someone long-term.

At age 39, I had a 7% chance of having a certain subset of abnormalities that were tested for with the chorionic villi test that I took at 9 weeks pregnant. At age 28 that chance is more like 2%.

So, everything can't be perfect when you're young, everything can't be perfect when you're older. You've got to find a sweet spot of being emotionally, financially and relationally ready. It's a balancing act.

thegreenyogi · Accepted Answer

There are many people like myself who don't see having children as priority. It's not because I wouldn't want to be a mother one day but I haven't the right partner yet, and I'm not in the right place to become a parent yet. I am also going through premature menopause and most probably I won't be able to have the experience of a natural pregnancy. But this isn't the only way to become a parent. And not always is having children the answer to happiness. If and when one day I choose to become a mother I have adoption as an option. It's so unfair that being women we are put under pressure to become mothers and give birth as if it were our duty. We are more than procreators and it's not like if we don't or can't give birth we are worthless as women. We deserve happiness too and not necessarily is giving birth the answer to that.

Simslover92 · Answer

For me, I would love to be a mother, always wanted to be one but I just never found the right partner and I'm not financially in a good place to have children. I didn't choose career. I wanted to have kids since 21. But I would have been a single parent if I had gotten pregnant by the guy I lost my virginity to and when I entered a relationship at 31, we were both financially not well off to bring children into the mix nor on the same page.

Now that I'm 33, I'm really looking for someone who wants children. Hopefully soon as I am almost at the geriatric pregnancy age. I no longer care that I'm not as financially well off as I want to be. There are a lot of families that make it work despite finances lacking.

wynning · Answer

Usually career, lack of prospects, environmental (economic and social factors), and individual freedom to pursue hobbies and interests while not being locked down to motherhood and child-rearing. It's an individualistic choice in that the outcome depends on what is prioritised more up to that age.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Because I have things to do in my 20's. I studied and got my degree. I randomly travel throughout the year. I like to explore. And, I can't stress this enough, I haven't wanted one. Granted, boyfriend and I have spoken about it and we're close to the point where we'd welcome a happy accident. Until then, no babies!

FreyaRed · Answer

My mother got me with 19. It was hate love towards me, she loved me because of mother instinct but hated me because I limited her options. Biologically it surely the best for a kid when the mother is young but psychologically is such young mother challenging for a child. Very young mother will make lot of mistakes while molding child's mind in early phase of childhood.
I think 28-35 is the right time to become mother.

exitseven · Answer

I had all my kids before I turned 30. It was a good age. We were among the younger parents but our kids are all grown up and we are still relatively young. I have a cousin who is my age and his daughter is 13. He will be paying for college when he is over 60/

Staximus · Answer

It's a different world these days. A lot of people can't afford to have kids in their late teens and 20's like when my parents were young. They had me when they were 30, but most of their friends had kids in their late teens and early twenties.

Jove79 · Answer

I was once told, Women want to have fun (aka sleep around, party, be free) for as long as possible.. once they start to notice the fun is slowing down, and they realize their biological clock is ticking, they start to look for someone to settle with, even if they don’t love the person, they settle just so they won’t be judged, for being older with no kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Idiocy.

Lots of women, we will call them low IQ feminists, believe in career before family, they say freeze your eggs, and so on. When in reality women have a biological clock, and at the age of 35, chances of birth defects, and the baby being born still born, sky rocket. There is a reason pregnancy after 35 is called geriatric pregnancy. And it gets worse the further you progress towards 50. But again shit stain feminists want you to believe you can ignore biology.

14gurlz2gagonit · Answer

Feminism has sold women a lot of reasons. If they really hold water or not depends on their opinions versus real life results.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Feminism messed the dynamics up big time.. So that now women feel like they have all the time in the world to have babies whenever they want, and to "live life" because apparently they'll be missing out if they have children..

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i think 25 is probably the ideal time for someone that has just ended puberty. men don't need to worry about that as much. they can/should control their contribution to society.

Tarifa · Answer

Sometimes a career comes first. Sometimes you don't find the right partner before you turn 25 or 30 or even beyond that. Every situation is different and cannot always be explained by pure logic.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Maybe they haven't met the right person, yet. What does it matter how many eggs she's got left? They're gonna keep coming 13 times a year until she's in her mid `50's

Anonymous · Answer

Why have kids Chronic global overpopulation, no money/hope/jobs, world war 3 with probably major genocide and/or a M. A. D/nuclear winter

MemeSupreme · Answer

if i have a kid rn i'm going to fuck it up. you shouldn't just have them for the sake of it

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I know a few women who have waited intentionally because of career stuff, but it's mostly been because of factors outside of their control.

sage2021 · Answer

Just try not to go past 35 cause it increases birth defects

DishLady · Answer

That's a SUPER OLD article and has since been disproven. You're 18? You probably think everyone over 25 is ancient. Do some more research or talk to your doctor.

ABC1x1x · Answer

Waiting until your 30 is tough. 1 quarter of your eggs are gone and the odds of having a smart or decent kid severely reduced. The quality eggs are in the beginning

SarahP080106 · Answer

I think some women want to focus on having a career and some want to enjoy a party lifestyle

Miristheiss · Answer

Feminism.  Kids, family, settling down early bad.  Career, promiscuity to be sexually "free", waiting until you are aging and have tons of emotional baggage good.

zagor · Answer

On the other hand I have a F relative who had a kid at 43 with no complications. And another who fathered kids in late 50's with no complications.

oldpigg · Answer

Only stupid people have children at that age, because it increases the likelihood of congenital abnormalities.

dudeinohio · Answer

In my case, I didn't get married until my 30s. My wife at the time was also in her 30s.

Panthero · Answer

You don't always get to choose when you procreate.

Anonymous · Answer

OR  Freeze your eggs so, just in case you want them later in life you’re good. My parents had me at 35+ so, I don’t see it as an issue myself.

Anonymous · Answer

My mom had me when she was just about my age. I'm 36. There's no "one age" to have kids. It's all dependent on YOU, THE INDIVIDUALIST I don't want kids

alice55 · Answer

usually people have kids when they meet their partner so sometime it's later

Professor-college · Answer

For me it's not that complicated but for women who wait for the last moment to have a baby it might turn into a regret

DrPepper12 · Answer

So you can enjoy & discover YOURSELF in your 20s. That developmental phase is irreplaceable for building a functioning adult.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Damn. I didn’t know the dropoff was that strong and that quickly.

Babygirl_S · Answer

The worst thing is to have a shitty man’s kids who treat you like shit

WonderingManII · Answer

Hopefully by the time you are 30 you got your life put together.

Katalina04 · Answer

Cause I’m 20, not ready for the kids. Wanna live life.

Guanfei · Answer

Well because I'm a dude and I can't have kids by myself.

Anonymous · Answer

Some people can't find the right person for marriage until they are 30 or older.

WhitneySnow · Answer

To enjoy your twenties

wkhan_87 · Answer

by the way that report is true

QuestionObsession · Answer

Why have kids at all is the right question for me

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

30/is a little late as far as reproduction

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

Why not?

xyzguy1296 · Answer

Yes , don't wait

Why wait until 30 to have kids?

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