I don’t know if it’s just me but I’ve noticed that if a man is honestly looking for advice from his peers they’ll tend to give each other honest advice no matter how harsh, if their bro is a little chubby they’ll tell him to lose the weight, if his hair cuts ass they’ll tell him to sue his barber, etc etc but for women it seems to be the complete opposite.
You could really be walking around looking a hot mess and instead of telling it to you straight from a place of love they’ll tell you to your face that you look great just to laugh at you behind your back?
Another personal observation of mine is that because (lets be honest) women are valued more highly for their looks, so they subconsciously view their friends as competition (of course not all but A LOT of people in this world are shallow) so if you go out in an outfit that just doesn’t flatter you, or your makeups looking a hot mess, or you’re starting to put on a bit of weight - they won’t point it out to you even if they notice because you’re just making them look better and feel better about themselves by comparison.
Why do men tend to be more honest with each other than women?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
11 d
Women are more likely to experience neuroticism. Women tend to not want to hurt others’ feelings, especially if it’s their friends or female family member. As boys growing up a lot of that emotion is curbed. I remember growing up. When I would cry my grandma would say, “stop it you’re not a little girl.” Sounds mean but in a way I’m thankful cause I can’t go around in life as a man crying about every little thing. Especially when I have a family to take care of. Men understand that if your bro is telling you something it’s usually out of love. Even though we usually won't tell each other I love you bro. It’s like when a girl or boy meets his partner’s family for the first time. If after a while they don’t pick on you or tease you, chances are they don’t like you. It’s done out of caring even though it sounds ironic. You can tell when someone is picking on you as opposed to actually picking on you. For instance if your sister-in-law just hates you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all women are like this. Some aren’t, but I believe more women are then so men. But it’s a good thing you noticed this at such an early age. If you can learn to differentiate between these things life is a lot easier. A lot of the women I work w are like this, they feel attacked on everything. There’s one girl in particular who thinks e drying installing about her or she’s being attacked cause they give her some constructive criticism. She got mad one day cause one of the men didn’t ask her if she wanted to order food w us. It wasn’t interested tonal. We work in medical. You get really busy. We even order more food than we need in case others come around. But she felt like he didn’t like her. That he was rude, disrespect, etc. Another girl I found out was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She got her feelings hurt that a few coworkers were going out on a particular day to have lunch together but she wasn’t invited. But they didn’t ask her because as one of them me told me she told them she was going out of town that week. That’s why as men we feel we can’t really be honest because we know how women will react.
It's because most women take everything personally, will always assume that anything a man said can only be taken the worst possible way with only the worst of intentions, and then they will hold that against the man literally forever.
I once was going to get some takeout food and my girlfriend at the time has a friend over. I asked her if I could get her anything from (probably) Taco Bell. She lost her mind because she somehow assumed I was calling her fat. I told her, no, I'm simply going to Taco Bell and getting food for everyone. Then she decided that I must think she had an eating disorder. How she possibly got to there I have no idea. From that moment on, she hated me and tried to convince my girlfriend break up with me. Because I offered to get her some food. She found a way to twist my offer into some kind of accusation, of the worst kind, naturally, and then hated me for it.
Yes, that's just one anecdote, but this kind thing is common and nearly every man who has been in a relationship with women has had something like this happen before.
I knew a guy who was married for 12 years. His girlfriend had never seen him cry. Then his grandma died, and that grandmother had raised him for years as a child because of family drama. His wife decided that, because he had cried at his grandma's funeral that he was a pathetic weakling and unfit to be her husband, and proceeded to attack him with that moment of weakness a number of times before divorcing him and using the courts to destroy him.
You think that man will ever be vulnerable around a woman or share anything with her ever again? Not a chance.
I will just say female insecurity is a lot more uglier than male insecurity.
But since it’s not a crime we see the ugly side of females. If a male were truly insecure in an unhealthy way and equivalent to the female version it would involve breaking limbs or death. Which is illegal and rare to be reached. The ugly found in women is more social verbal or indirect so it’s not a crime and it’s just kind of done at times.
Its not something punishable or ever gets addressed so whoever learns to do that as habit will probably do it to other ladies she doesn’t like.
The insecurities for females can be worse in my mind because it’s just kind of how it is. Girls who want to get guys attention and can only do it in looks (as some think) they will try to better their chances and sabotage another lady’s looks. Many times ladies are selective about who they like whether a guy or a friend as well so if they don’t like the lady for some reason and lying comes easy to them, they’ll probably lie. 🤷♀️
It’s complex and it’s psychological and social. It’s just a lot easier if ladies are not insecure at all and comfortable with themselves and believe in treating others with a general sense of respect. That’s my true belief on the matter.
Maybe ladies are sometimes more selfish cause their end goal is to be with a male companion when they’re 90 and so they don’t wish to do favors for any other lady in getting a guy.
At some point it has to be historical as well because it’s very easy to get a guy. So if we see this as a reality. I am just not sure where this idea of competition comes from.
I think the competition is less “mating” “future relationship” and more personal insecurity. I just truly believe if ladies all were not insecure these issues we see and these ambiguous things would all lessen and lessen to practically nothing. While this may be true it’s also important to realize that guy relationships aren’t perfect either. We can’t put it too high on a pedestal cause there are flaws and gaps. There’s room to improve for everyone. Regardless.
And it’s fair to mention that not all ladies are like that. Especially more so if you created a good bond with a lady friend pre puberty and as adolescents and also it’s a plus if both are quite confident and equally outspoken / well experienced in life matters. So they just would be less likely to do wrong. It’s gonna be her personal values as well. If a lady sees no issue with lying or sabotaging then she has an inner problem. Not every lady is a cheat or tramp
I have no idea but I have noticed it too, women are so much more hypocrite it's horrible to be around them (working, etc...) it's very tiring, we can never know if there's hidden message or not... Some men are like that too though even if in general they're more honest, I think it depend on culture too for example there's quite a lot of hypocrite in my country but nowhere near American, America and Japanese are literally the worst for it.
Oh man, you've learned a valuable lesson at a young age. Yes, you're right.
Women in general DO NOT like being held accountable. They will take what's intended as constructive criticism as an attack every time rather than stepping back for some introspective thought and saying "thanks for your honesty". This happens whether it's a female friend delivering the message or a guy. It's insecurity / lack of confidence.
So other women and a lot of guys will either say nothing or lie to avoid conflict. That's another female trait. They generally avoid conflict like the plague. So "white lies" are an accepted behavior from an early age. Rather than risk angering or hurting a friend who looks like a mess, they will put on their best phony smile and tell her she looks great in that skin tight dress that highlights every bulge.
And yes, women can be super competitive around each other. Much more so than guys in my experience. So there's that mean streak that runs through their interactions with each other. Competing for men. Competing for status with other women. They absolutely will snipe each other. Guys hardly ever think about stuff like this.
Personally, I treat women like I treat guys. I have one mode of interaction with people, LOL. And it is often NOT appreciated. But I don't really care. Women who can't take the input aren't worth knowing. I want to know the ones who can take the input and say "thank you". Even if it stings a little.
Men are dealing with their emotions way different then woman do.
When a woman has emotional pain she feels the need to communicate this with others who comfort her by listening and giving eachother advise on the issue.
Men are doing the exact opposite when they have emotional pains. Men rather choose to isolate themselves from everyone because being alone means he can let his emotions go without anyone there to judge him for it.
Woman seem comfort with others and men seek comfort by isolating themselves. Therefore men don't feel the need to sugarcoat things because we simply don't have any reason to keep other men on their side.
A lot of woman that are being promoted on social media platforms are living in their own fantasy world, stepping away fromthe values and traditions woman are suppose to have.
I hope some day the strong woman will rise up to fight against those woman that became completely delusional of the truth and teaching them again how to become a high value natural woman. Because those woman are being the victims of the delusional woman in this current society.
Men are correcting eachothers behaviour of they cross certain unacceptable lines. If I go out in a club and decide to grope woman's asses against their will in front of other dudes then I will be knocked out by other guys standing around guaranteed within 2 minutes. Strong men will step in such situations and correct my behaviour by beating the shit out of me right away.
Woman should do the same thing but so far they seem more likely to stick some feathers up eachothers asses then correcting other woman's bad behaviours
You're exactly right. In my lifelong experience as a man, my main takeaway has been that my feelings don't matter. That's not necessarily right or wrong, but it is typical of the male experience. That being said, tend to be more accepting of the truth because it will likely lead to an improvement of the situation causing us grief. Many of my female companions prefer comfortable lies, rather than uncomfortable truth. In my experience, they receive the uncomfortable truth as an attack, rather than a genuine attempt at solving the problem.
Just recently, hand to God, a female friend of mine literally said, "Mike, you're thinking about this logically, rather than emotionally..." I thought I had misheard her, but then she doubled down on her statement. It opened my eyes to how many women (and some men) would rather be coddled rather than corrected.
Ultimately, women find themselves in a echo chamber of affirmation and comfortable lies, that leads to accountability issues and a inflated sense of worth, whereas most men I know want to uncomfortable truth so that they can improve. Hope that helps!
It’s because men are generally pragmatic and logical. We rather hear the ugly truth vs. feel good lies.
Now don’t get me wrong. It’s a bully tactic to “point out the obvious” especially when it’s done in front of other people.
But men are more likely to give and receive tough love to each other. Because we care more about what WORK. This is especially true when a guy is overweight and his buddies tell him he needs to hit the gym vs. girls telling their obese friend she “beautiful”.
There are deeper negative ideological impacts for when women get into politics when it comes to this. You generally see more women supporting so called “trans” movement despite the fact the movement is harming real women Because of woke women you now biological men competing in women’s sports, men “! identifying” entering women’s bathrooms & locker rooms. All because women are too afraid to hurt a “trans identifying” persons feelings.
Generally, men speak openly or overtly, women to speak covertly. If you ever wondered why a guy didn't pick up on your "flirting" he probably just thought you were being nice.
Women mostly think they're a '10', it's a status game:
Interesting video, I hate the whatever podcast though. They criticize promiscuous women yet basically only allow OF models on their show, their entire podcast would fall apart if they put more intelligent women on the show
@caitycat21 Agreed, in internet land the most extreme content/ragebait makes headlines. The contrast of OF girls and normies is pretty extreme and that's what creates engagement, feeds the algorithm, gets more clicks, clicks means more ads which = Profits. However, just like in comedy, every great joke is hiding some underlying truth about humanity. Usually ideas most people are thinking but too afraid or incapable of vocalizing. These subconscious beliefs actually guide our actions as humans far more than we realize and until we allow them to rise to awareness to be analyzed, we will be strung along by what we consider 'fate' when it's just an unconscious mindset.
Women are at least socially stereotyped to be more sensitive than men. Take the example that you aren't supposed to ask a woman's age.
We guys are walking on egg shells around someone if we can't even ask their age, let alone whether they like tits or ass better.
But my wife is an exception. I married her for that reason. I can share anything with her. Even tell her, "Wow, that woman is very beautiful!" No problem. She knows I won't cheat on her, and she shares the same like, "That guy we met at our party is so handsome!" I agree.
So I think if you want to earn guys' trust, maybe say you farted or something when you fart and broadcast your age. Then we know we don't have to walk around eggshells with you.
Also just a little thing but I recommend arm wrestling guys. And probably you'll lose almost 100% of the time unless they take it easy on you. But I think that helps because how many women want to arm wrestle guys? They're like, "Yuck, that's for savages." I'm not a fucking savage, I will protect you when the building is on fire. You can't make up the rules of the universe.
I didn't notice more "honesty" coming from men with each other —which isn't honesty looking at how you describe it, I'd call that carelessness instead— than women with other women. I see men and women commenting easily on physique, on request. With more or less tactfulness, depending on personality and social class.
I'd assume that carelessness is more popular in some spheres, like bro culture, it could even be a rallying sign there. Likewise in lower social classes where discretion wouldn't be valued, unlike higher spheres where refrain would be a social rule. More generally, I'd think also about nation-wide cultures where it would be more socially acceptable to comment about anything anytime.
Men have a different relationship with each other, than we have with women, because men have learned from conditioning that there are certain times you NEVER tell women the truth.
Example: if you ask a guy if a pair of jeans makes their ass look fat. Of course we're going to lie, because any man that tells her they do knows that she will never let that go.
No offense, but we just can't treat women the same way, because she will hold it against us, and it will bite us in the ass. It's relationship suicide.
I see what you mean but guys have at least one thing I can think of and maybe a few more depending- but it’s something they have a hard time dealing with. If a girl says flat out to a guy she doesn’t like him. He’s gonna have some issues with it and a tough time getting past it. Usually. Not all guys but I want to say probably close to ALL guys. We’re talking about insecurities here.
Guys can have a hard time being told their short or really small or small package. It’s the same as a lady being insecure about a stupid ass in a pair of slacks.
Insecurity is insecurity and everyone has their crosses to bear when facing the harsh truths.
It’s just guys maybe learned to be more active about something and less likely to sit down and think about it or cry about it. Cause the crying gets made fun of and more guys were known to be workaholics or adrenaline junkies who never stop because they can’t sit still and thoroughly process certain emotions. Emotions regardless of who and which gender, overall are always gonna be tough to deal with. It’s why all kids need to learn this kind of development and self control/care.
Guys will be on the go and some ladies will grieve certain things. Different processes but there’s similarities for sure. That’s just what I see though. So feel free to disagree with my added comment.
Just reading the comments from men, it seems to me that quite a few of the men have a stereotypical, "tv drama" type of view of female friendships (between women) which is funny to me coming from a very female-dominated and isolated background. A lot of comparisons between how the women are in their minds and how it starkly contrasts with how they are... when I see so many similarities between what they think are differences in my own experience! Very interesting.
Women tend to want to be nice and negative feedback can be seen as mean… which from what I have seen is the biggest no no in woman world, you can’t be mean.
Perhaps it is the nurturing side of women. Trying to be uplifting and supportive of all types of people. But deep down they know what’s what.
When people are hesitant to give me feedback I often say “If this was you what would you do”. I don’t use that tactic on personal feedback from them as I don’t tend to ask or care for advice on such matters but perhaps that will work. Now it is about them and you may get their honest next steps like a fad diet or a favorite gym. You could also ask it by framing it as “have you ever had this issue? What did you do?”. Maybe they will be honest with you. But maybe your reaction to past inquires has made them cautious of you.
Women are cowards. Lol just kidding! I just think guys have a “no fcks” attitude, they’ll say things as nice as possible but while being straight up. where as a female is more sensitive and they don’t want to seem mean or rude.. the brains are just wired differently.
Being envious.. she liked the way you look, but doesn’t want you to look better than her? Who knows.. there’s people like that in groups of friends
Same difference like when I talk to someone on the street, if I talk to a random guy, we can laugh like we were always friends, if I approach a woman the same way, she’s super shy and would say 4 words max.
Maybe that’s why the women I know have at least one gay friend hmmm
For me I do t really think it matters male or female friend or stranger I kinda call it how I see it but at the same time it depends on the Scenario. Or. how I even got involved talking with them
But think I'm Equal with both. It really depends on the whole thing and scenario. And if I feel their words instead of just reading their words
Men's mentality - say it, deal with it, move on. Blunt honesty is seen as a sign of respect to one another. Men don't feel obligated to protect each other's egos.
Women are soft. They're raised to maintain relationships and avoid conflict. They prioritize emotional safety over brutal truth
Men don't want to have to puff things up and sugar coat their language. That is tone policing and is unnecessary. Clear concise and unambiguous is how communication should be. Stressing over HOW to say it in a nice way is just time wasting and giving reasons to avoid doing something to rectify an issue.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
13 d
We ars socialized to care about everyone and everything. We're supposed to be kind and empathetic, cater to people's feelings around us and take care of everyone, especially men.
And the comparing, jealousy thing, says more about your surroundings than women in general.
Now I'm ready for all the males, especially the Sweed to cry about how I'm a victim while he cries in being a male victim. Only males are socialized by society.
I think that changes with age. There is about 4-5 people I trust with personal stuff, outside of my wife, three happen to be woman. I think often times a view from a different perspective is healthy, I often seek out there opinion first, to see if I have inserted any male bias!
Men are often socialized to be more direct and less emotionally expressive in their communication with each other. That is not always a good thing, however.
Why isn't it a good thing? It's blunt with no frills. Softening the reality isn't what is asked for, it is the truth they were after. How that's received is up to how they ask the question.
Women are taught to be more forgiving and accepting than men are. Especially because men, genetically, are more likely to be less forgiving, we hold on to grudges longer.
So, when men are more honest about things, we tend to become more bitter, and it lasts longer
Everything is learnt behaviour so obviously a guy typically learns not to say stuff around women cause they tend to react or ya know to us overreact. While guys don't.
There is a general belief that same gender means they will understand each others basic thinking and in general there is bound to be a bit more understand as compared to sharing things with opposite gender.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
13 d
It's just you. Though truth be told, any time a man is honest with a woman we are tone policed.. Meaning "you could have said that differently so it didn't hurt my feelings" and the like. It's not that we aren't honest with you, it's that you take our honesty too much to heart, to the point where it's just not worth it to be honest with women.
I don't know. We are more sensitive as we were (designed) to be. But we also have to learn that not everyone is trying be mean. I admit, sometimes I need to take comments with a grain of salt. 😔🤔🥴
This is incorrect, it depends on the type of person and the type of relationship they have, some people don’t want you to succeed, others don’t know what’s best for you, everyone just talks from their perspective and for their indirect benefit
In short, we only open up to each other because when men open up to woman this happens. Part of it is we're all we can really count on which is why so many guys go by the rule "Bros before hoes" as they put it. In my experience woman don't take emotional vulnerability as seriously as men do because they live in a world where when they reach out for help it's expected but with men it's the inverse so we can only trust and talk to each other often times.
In my experience, men spitball with guys and talk honestly with women they like. Not criticising your opinion, but my experience has been the opposite.
Males don't emotionally manipulate each other like a female will do. A lot of guys can't be vulnerable after being betrayed because they aren't mature enough to move on.
Based on my experience with Women. I'm always scared that I'm going to upset them. I wonder if Women are like that each other. If that is the case then perhaps they are just scared of upsetting each other.
Men can survive for a time without the tribe so if their honesty is rejected they can still survive until forgiven or until they find/create a new tribe. If the tribe exiles a woman she dies, probably that night.
This, biologically women tend to be more compassionate to other people this is helpful when you take care of baby’s and children’s and also like the girls of this question said women are more valued by their beauty than men are, this has also a biological explanation but I don’t want to make this comment longer, so women at the end of they day are more sensitive, that’s why they prefer telling lies or just try to hype up their friends, also men with higher testosterone levels they have this I don’t give a fuck mentally and higher self steem on average than women, resulting in more bold comments to their friends.
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