Why do people keep telling me to work on my confidence so much?

[Anonymous]

every time I ask my friends if I am ugly, they always tell me that I look fine and that I need to work on my confidence. If I ask them to rate me 1-10, they would never give me a number but just that I need to be more confident. But I barely get any interest or attention from guys. It could be also the fact that I don't dress well. I don't think I look good, I have sort of a double chin. I am probably cute but overweight. Not obese or anything but I have a bloated face. I tend to hold my weight well. Size 12, shapely type of thick.

[Anonymous]

I want to be clear I'm not trying to be rude because I'm basically the guy version of you, but the simple fact of the matter is you sound like you're bellow a five like me. Here's the good news though. If you dress bad, dress better and if you're overweight start losing it. I promise you'll get more attention because that's what happened with me.

I'm still about 100 pounds overweight but shedding a good chunk of it and shaving while dressing better was all it took for woman to pay more attention to me. I haven't gotten a date yet but I'm working on it with a sweet girl I've met and probably will be on one tomorrow probably next weekend at the latest.

On the confidence note your friends are right that's also a problem. Confidence is a key that opens doors. Confident people pass job interviews; confident people look and act attractive and hold their heads high. they have an air of maturity around them as well and people find all of that very sexy.

Here's some good news though. If you take pride in your appearance and lose that weight I promise you, you'll start feeling more confident from that all on its own. Then like I said you'll have a new key that opens doors for you in life which lets you accomplish and do things that make you attractive through merit.

Work out dress better and I promise you, there will be improvement in your life, and you'll feel better about yourself too. The great thing also is that all those people saying you need a gym membership are full of crap. I've lost over 50 pounds, and you know how? I ate LESS junk, MORE protein going for walks and lifting hand weights and doing crunches.

That's all it takes it's a lot easier than it seems once you do it and the more weight you lose the more confident and encouraged you feel.

[Asker]

im not like you. I'm not even close to being 100 pounds overweight. Truth is.. some people can look fine still being a bit overweight. If you're over 100 pounds overweight, you can't compare yourself to me.

[Asker]

and plus, it is ridiculously hard to lose weight. I don't know why people think losing weight is as easy as just saying "lose weight".

If it were so easy to lose weight, nobody would be fat in this country. But most of us are.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow thanks. I was trying to be helpful, and you went straight into bitch mode even though I did my best to be helpful and polite. No wonder your single maybe your friends are right I think your personality might be the real problem.

[Asker]

I'm not a bitch... I'm just telling you the truth. I'm not making fun of your weight. But you're delusional if you think being 150 pounds overweight is the same thing as being 30-40 pounds overweight.

[Opinion Owner]

And you're delusional if you think working out is that hard when I've lost over fifty pound just taking a few small walks and doing some basic exercise. losing weights not hard you're just lazy.

"im not like you. I'm not even close to being 100 pounds overweight. Truth is.. some people can look fine still being a bit overweight. If you're over 100 pounds overweight, you can't compare yourself to me."

The phrasing of this sentence is rude and nasty as hell you were being a total bitch, or you wouldn't have phrased it this way. Word choice matters this is you insulting me so get off your high horse cunt. I was trying to relate to you that being over weight can be a struggle but that it can be over come. That message is irrelevant to our weight gap the point is if you exercise you will lose weight. Jesus, no wonder you're single.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

[losing weights not hard you're just lazy.]

I actually have been to the gym 4 times a week for the last 3 months and only have lost 5 pounds. Losing weight is easier for some than others. For me, I usually get very hungry after working out, so I end up eating back all the calories I just burned.

Besides this, I have starved in intermittent fasting, I have went on failed ketogenic diets, I have restricted food, I have gone on high veggie diets. NOTHING HAS WORKED.

Most people who go on diets, end up falling off these ridiculous diets. If losing weight were as easy as showing up the gym a few times a week, obesity wouldn't exist.

[Asker]

[The phrasing of this sentence is rude and nasty as hell you were being a total bitch, or you wouldn't have phrased it this way]

I was never rude and nasty. You're just too sensitive. There was nothing wrong with the way I worded my words.

[Opinion Owner]

Go fuck yourself cunt

[bowenw]

It sounds to me like you look good and they believe there nothing holding you back but yourself. Size 12 is a perfectly normal size.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You keep looking for external validation because you don’t know how to validate yourself. Confidence is knowing how to internally validate yourself. That’s why they keep telling you to work on it.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you'll find someone eventually. Some guys like thicker girls.

[jahaims]

They are being nice. Get healthy