Silence in the immediate aftermath of a break up?

[Anonymous]

So a woman I’ve become very close with for a few years now (and particularly in the last year) recently ended things for good with her now-ex boyfriend. The nature of that relationship was very on again off again over the 4-5 years they were together.

In the immediate aftermath of her ending things with him, she’s gone completely quiet on me, not even opening my messages for a few weeks and she also hid her Instagram stories from me. I haven’t been bombarding her with messages, to be clear. Just the usual sorts of messages that we’d exchange until recently.

To be clear, she did show genuine warmth with me, we showed each other mutual care and support. To go from that warmth to not even opening my messages at all and hiding her Instagram stories is a bit confusing.

I’m just wondering how normal this is in the immediate aftermath of a break up, for women to go quiet on close male friends?

Call me a social hermit lol but this is the first time I’ve been close to someone of the opposite sex in a non-romantic way, during a period which she was in a relationship, who’s going through the immediate aftermath of ending that relationship, so I don’t have any baseline to compare it to.

I’d have thought she’d have leant on me a bit more for emotional support for something like this, as she has in the past (albeit not for any relationship matters).

[Anonymous]

“In the immediate aftermath of her ending things with him, she’s gone completely quiet on me, not even opening my messages for a few weeks and she also hid her Instagram stories from me.”

Is this what the world has really come to? Social media claptrap?

How depressing!

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think she can tell you’ve never had any successful platonic relationships with a woman and for the express purpose of making sure you don’t try to turn yourself into her rebound (as many men if your kind are won't to do, not saying this is you but it’s what women come to expect from men similar to you in these situations) she’s taking space for herself to process without even the slightest attempt at allowing men in her life. When she’s ready to talk to you, she will.

[Asker]

No it’s not me. If it were to ever move beyond plutonic with this person it’d have to be in the form of a stable, long term relationship, I wouldn’t risk the friendship I have with her and the mess it’d potentially create by being her rebound.

I’ve have/had plenty of successful plutonic relationships with women, including many in my and this person’s mutual circles. Hell of an assumption to make… I’ve just never been as close (in terms of emotional significance) to a woman in a plutonic sense as I am/have been with this person.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Platonic and plutonic are not the same words. You know that, right?

[Asker]

Typo…

[In_Trance]

So in other words you thought you were next in line to get a piece of that ass.

You're not