Why do people care about this Valentine’s Day when it’s all about money for retailers?

[Dbman99]

Again, the most depressing day of the year. I’m an autistic 48 year old man, never dated, never was “with” a girl, never had many friends. Abused emotionally as a child by my dad, bullied all through kindergarten to high school, had girls tell my friends I was scary (which my friends didn’t get), had a girl tell tell me I should “learn how to talk” right after asking her out, and now have a woman tell tell who was my work friend who, granted did get divorced from a violent marriage, however when she knew I liked her wants to file harassment? Really? I’ve been beaten and knocked on my whole life, how could I be a bad guy when I’m trying to love unconditionally. I’ve had people tell me I’m nicer than the nice guy on TV, and it is known I don’t seem to understand cues because autistic people struggle with that. I would bring her gifts constantly. That’s what we do. I want the dream of a wife kids and a home. I’ve tried church, online, work, hobbies, not even a date. I’ve been in therapy and medication almost My entire life.

Updates

5 mo

I’m just so lost I feel! Insignificant!

[Anonymous]

I don’t think men really care about it. It’s the women who mainly care about it. Some don’t but that’s probably cause they’re single, bitter, so they pretend not to care about it. But it’s a big deal to a lot of women cause they love the attention. They also love being able to show off to their girlfriends oh look my man got me 2 dozen roses, candy, dinner and a ring. Oh well my man got me x, y, and z. And as the man if you don’t adhere to this you’re looked at as an asshole. A jerk. It really is about retail sales. These retail companies know what they’re doing. They play on women’s feelings to guilt men into purchasing Valentine’s Day gifts for your wife or girlfriend or both lol

[Miristheiss]

I think a lot of people care when they are young and they just want to participate and have someone special to celebrate with.

I was into it as a teen and when my wife and I first started dating.

I do not care about now. I have done it, now I am done with that stuff.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think a better question is do you realize how much you project your own pain and insecurities onto others when you belittle celebrations you believe you’re excluded from when you’re not?

[Dbman99]

Well, what do I really have to be secure about? I mean, abused, bullied, picked on, it’s supposed to turn around you know and I’ve tried so much money so much therapy so much medication

[Dbman99]

I mean, all my life has seen people break up with people, then just jump into another relationship like breathing. It’s like a pipe dream, for me. How was this reality.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

They’re able to have enough sense of self to do that. You’re not there yet, but you can be. Nobody can force you to do or change anything, but if your goal is a relationship I would ask what it gives you that you’re not capable of giving yourself? Nobody wants an incomplete person

[Dbman99]

But my feeling depressed, and I know I’m not alone, is the same as other people sing Christmas, the most glorious time of the year, is a depressed time. A time of joy for all. When you’re talking about a day that’s supposed to be celebrating people in relationships when those who aren’t in relationships or even hurt more by it. Especially someone like me who’s never even had a date. And that’s fine. And I’m not saying Christmas isn’t a big thing for retailers either. Don’t get me wrong. But I get what you’re saying however, understanding autism is an investment not instant impression. That’s the problem as people don’t want to get to know other people, they want What’s socially acceptable, and what looks good I guess my biggest flaws are extremely nice, extremely, but just using you as an example, I would do anything for you at any time literally drop anything. I will bring you gifts. I will pay any price for dinner. You will be before me at all times. And I will always look to protect you. I’ve learned to love unconditionally, which means there’s no conditions allowed in love. I am also a Jesus Christian, not a religious Christian, which is the problem with this world in a lot of its ways. There’s even Christians that have turned me away and even churches they told me my depression and suicidal thoughts are beyond their scope of practice. So where do I belong when the entire world literally rejects me

[Dbman99]

And I’m not talking about you personally just know that. I just know that that girl is really hurt me granite. She was going through a very bad divorce herself, I would still forgive her.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think maybe part of your problem is you really enjoy trauma dumping when you get the opportunity. Yes, autism is not always something people can understand, speaking as an autistic woman, but there’s effort required on your part too. Maybe you just don’t see yourself in those moments where you get rejected but you can learn how

[Dbman99]

I guess I’ve always felts small, and insignificant. And I’m always looking for someone to be friends with and listen. I hope I didn’t offend you I just feel so unheard and lonely

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, that’s unbelievably obvious that you’re lonely. I would suggest making an effort for platonic relationships before ever remotely touching romantic ones, especially with people you are absolutely not attracted to

[Anonymous]

[OlderAndWiser]

Telling everyone else that the grapes are all sour does not engender warm regard for you; it's just pathetic.

[Dbman99]

So it’s OK for people to say Christmas is the most depressing time of the year when it’s the most glorious time of the year? No. Don’t think you understand. People need to learn to understand other people and invest in other people to learn about them.

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s easier to fool people than it is to convince them that they have been fooled.

[jamesgoldman]

Because I'm one of those retailers, end of the busy season now back to the hoarding and hustling until Christmas calls in October

[Caughtulookin]

Any excuse for a holiday to feel happy in celebration for life. We all work hard and and have to deal with a lot of bullshit. Whats wrong with getting to be joyfull sometimes?