Is this girl genuinely interested or just playing me online?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I texted this girl I met online. We’ve been texting for about a week now. But last night something felt off. I texted her, it was a bit late 11:00pm. She enthusiastically responded within 2 minutes and asked how I was.

I replied the same way she did and asked how she was. It’s now afternoon and she hasn’t replied back.

I am starting to believe she has someone else as she turned on her do not disturb on iPhone since last night.

[HollyK21]

Are you the guy who’s texting this girl that another woman set him up with online? Because if so, already when we spoke last time it seemed like quite an unequal balance of interest with you having much more. Even if that wasn’t you, I’d still say the same because the lack of patience and level of concern you have developed in such a short time. Chill out. If she’s genuinely interested she will reply back, she may just be busy or sleeping in.


However you should also keep in mind that you are the pursuant, that means you know you’re heavily interested and it’s the right time in your life, along with this online connection being one that you know you’re interested in sustaining. With her, you don’t know that yet. If you were the guy who’s friend set him up with that one woman then I know the general idea would be that she’s open and interested but friends are always capable of thinking they’re acting in our best interest when they’re not, along with sticking us in situations we are quite ready for or interest in. At the same time this could be aligning with my original concern that this will eventually be about money given the background both she and the friend have, not genuine interest. In any case, friend’s hands are off the wheel now, so if this woman isn’t really interested in maintaining this connection then you will know soon enough.

[Asker]

Lol I don’t know what you are talking about. A guy that was set up with someone?

[HollyK21]

Yep, guy who’s female online friend set him up with another friend of hers, apparently she’s got a big online platform, very beautiful, etc. In your age range, this happened a little over a week ago. If it wasn’t you like I said, that’s fine, I’d still say there could be an equal imbalance of interest, along with you being the pursuant. She may not be as interested or as available, and time will quickly tell, like as of today. If the whole day passes then that’s intentionally done, it only takes moments to respond even if she’s just getting up. If you get some lackluster response, not much effort in return, paired with more spaced out windows of interaction then again, these are signals that are giving you your answer.

[HollyK21]

**inequal balance

[Asker]

Sounds good! At least I’d know the truth…if she’s no longer into me or not.

[HollyK21]

You say you guys met online, how’d that go? Is this through a platform with online dating or her friend just trying to hook her up?

[Asker]

I used a dating app. She was the one always initiating for the first 3 days.

[HollyK21]

Have you tried setting a date? It could be a thing to where she isn’t much of a texter, and prefers either OTP or in person hangouts. Texting can be fun at first but after a while, the excitement wears off. You run out of topics, conversations become redundant, that sort of thing.

[Asker]

Yeah, she said her schedule was all over the place and that she’d have to coordinate with me. But, how busy could someone be?

[HollyK21]

Gotcha. Well, I’d still stick to giving her some time to respond but if like the full day passes then I’d really sit the ball in her court for now and keep my options open. There could be any number of reasons she isn’t responding. For example, she could very well be one of those people who would like to date but really can’t (or won’t) prioritize a new relationship in the way she should/could. It could also be a case of ghosting, and rather than relay her loss of interest she’s just gonna let you find out about it for yourself. That’s a sucky side to online dating, those people can be so impersonal because they believe your next option is just a swipe away so no hard feelings. In any case, only time will tell.

[CriminallyInsane]

Or she fell asleep and forgot about it? There are a lot of less paranoid possibilities than that. Just text her again and ask what she's up to or something.

[Asker]

True. But it feels like too many excuses at this point. How busy could someone be?

[CriminallyInsane]

What excuses?

[Asker]

It all started when she went away on this work “retreat”. After she came back she has been a bit distant. States she’s been very busy. I even planned our first date at this very fancy place after she had told me we would go out this weekend or the next. I told her about next weekend and she’s unsure about it.

Not sure if this is some sort of test since she was always the one mostly initiating and she was the one that first told me she wanted to go out on a date.

[CriminallyInsane]

That's a whole lot of stuff you didn't mention. If you're going to make a part 2 to your question from yesterday, it would help if you linked it or something so we know what all you're talking about

Is her ‘busy schedule’ real or is she losing interest in me? ↗

[Asker]

Good idea. And yes, I’m the same person. Didn’t know I could link it here. Thanks

[Asker]

All she said last night was “Hey! Sorry—busy day”

“How have you been”?

Haven’t heard from her since 11pm last night after that

[CriminallyInsane]

She told you she was busy at a work retreat? You think they let you spend the whole time on dating apps while you're there?

It's entirely possible your paranoia isn't imaginary but what good are you doing worrying about it all weekend? Just wait until she answers when it's over. You're freaking out over a date that's not until next weekend. You don't need to have the date and time cemented a full week early. Have a little patience?

[Asker]

She’s back in town. We live like 6 miles away lol. Ok, I’ll give her some time.

[MissSunshine2]

I think you need to relax. You could be right or you could be wrong. Just wait and see what happens and send her a text in a few days, saying ‘hey, i was thinking about you. What’ve you been up to? 😊’

[Anonymous]

If she's constantly hot and cold or evasive, she might just be using the online interaction for attention.

[Anonymous]

I dont think there is such a think. Everything is very new now.

[Asker]

Huh?