Is she interested in me or just playing around?

[Anonymous]

Ok, looking here for a bit of advice as I’m very confused about her intentions.

We knew each other online and have been Facebook friends for a few years now, but don’t actually know each other for real. She’s been interested in my posts all of that time. We’ve chatted on occasion too…. but around mid February she reached out & asked for my snapchat.

I gave her it and she started snapping me flirty with me, one of her puckering up, some playing with her hair, basically all the usual things you’d expect.

At the time I wasn’t really interested in a relationship so I just kinda complimented her. I’ve always snapped her back, but it’s always been non-sexual things.

Looking back, other than a small number of other things she's mostly sent flirty snaps to me. I’ve been the opposite where I’ve mainly sent other things and not me in any capacity. She also told me at one point that she’s been single since January and she thinks she's struggling to find a boyfriend.

Probably about 2 weeks ago she sent me a one pulling her hair back, revealing part of her bra. There was no way it was an accident and she’s not the kind of girl who I could picture doing this for just anybody.

So I finally started flirting back with her, and she started flirting back with me. There was around a dozen or so flirty messages over the following days, I sent her a snap where she replied something like “honestly you’re totally the cutest 😉 xxx”. That’s the only time she’s ever signalled openly something like that. Since then, she snapped me consecutively for the next few days, I kept replying and sometimes sent first, but then she slowly stopped replying, yesterday she didn’t snap me at all.

Before this I’d always just assumed she was looking for attention because we never knew each other personally.

Is she trying to pull me in and make me chase her, or is she just playing around with me and assumes I'm doing the same?

One minute she’s hot the next she's cold, I'm really unsure...

Updates

+1 y

So I think I’ve pretty much sussed out that she IS just messing around after all. Thanks for all your comments which have been very useful for me.

I set two traps for her to try and reveal what she really thinks about me, the first was that I set a snapchat Story to see if she would take a look at it & show genuine interest. So I put the story up and several other people viewed it, she’s snapchatted me since and still hasn’t viewed it nearly a day later.

1/2

Updates

+1 y

Second, she updated her profile picture on Facebook and I took the time to test how committed she really was, so I left what I hoped was a subtle flirty message about her eyes looking innocent. Nothing weird, nothing over the top... she totally ignored my comment and liked her friends comment above. Pretty much gave it away with that

Updates

+1 y

So just wanted to let people know about the outcome of this one. She continued flirting with me right up until two days ago, although I seldom ever did back. She sent me a snapchat today and then deleted her account, I think, because I can’t find her anymore even on a new account. She also seems to have deactivated her Instagram too. Her Facebook is still up however, so I logged on there and found she updated her relationship status yesterday and she’s now in a relationship.

Updates

+1 y

Honestly I’m not even bothered about her because I wasn’t really into her at all, in fact the more she flirted persistently with me not replying back it kinda turned me off her more. She had a massive flirting addiction because it was everywhere, Instagram stories, Snapchat etc… She probably was doing the same thing with loads of guys. I just think “disgusted” is the word, that she felt she could use me to fill her sexual needs then just ghost me when she was done with me. A valuable lesson.

[SueShe]

The way I see it is that she is jut playing around with you.

She got your attention now and while you were rather on the neutral side before, you have now bitten the bait and now that she has achieved that you are interested in her, the game is no longer interesting for her.

Time to let her go and not to try to hang onto her. Just tell her that it was nice knowing her but that you are into a serious relationship and not into playing games.

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply... even just since posting this message she sent me another three snaps of herself... I always felt she was looking for attention from the very start, it was only when feelings started to get in the way and we started flirting that I questioned that. Maybe because I wasn't giving her as much attention since she stopped, that explains why she's come back again. Guess I should have followed my gut all along. Thanks.

[SueShe]

Hope all goes well for you

[SueShe]

Based on your second update, it seems pretty obvious that she has lost interest in you and that it is time for you to find that one that is really special and appreciates you.

[Asker]

Thing is, she's been snapping me like mad the past few days. It picked up again after this topic and she was sending me several a day, even yesterday. She sent me five in a row on Friday over about two hours as I hadn't opened them. She hasn't said a word to me since I posted on her Facebook post mind, which IS out of character. But, it doesn't matter anyway as I totally agree with the sentiment of your answer, and that's exactly what I'm going to do now even if she does get back to me again.

[Anonymous]

Could be either but with these things you'll never know unless you try. My guess would be trying to get you to chase her and she didn't think you were interested so gave up, I think if it were for attention it may have continued. But who knows since this isn't enough to even go on really.

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply... it's a fine line between the two I think, sadly I would've put more info in here but I was capped at 2000 characters. Since I put this topic up she's sent another three snapchats to me today, all similar. I left the first one unopened for about 2 hours, then she sent another 2 within half an hour after 2 hours had elapsed. She also replied back to me when I sent one after she did. She definitely wants me to notice her, but as you say, who knows...

[Opinion Owner]

At the end of the day insecurity isn't attractive. Fortune favours the brave. So it's up to you. If it were me I'd be too curious to pass up finding out. But if you're not ready that's also okay.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t understand you guys nowadays everybody does everything over a computer what ever happened to meeting in person and dating?

[Asker]

She's literally from like the other end of the country from me...

[Avicenna]

She probably just wants attention

[In_Trance]

playing around